THE PATHWAY TO FAMILY HAPPINESS

by: Norberto Betita

The ultimate goal and objective of every married couple is to create a family and to attain family happiness. Each child that comes into the marital union becomes an exclusive part of the circle. They carry with them a special bonding ingredient that helps build a happy home.  They are not gifts to keep, but a charge of divine stewardship.  The parents and the children then becomes an organized family, with its time honoured role as the fundamental unit of society and of heaven. 

In organizing a race, a plan and a map for the route is crucial. So it is in building and creating a happy family, there needs to be a road map or a pathway to follow. The family should understand that the route will always be passing dangerous channels and hidden cliffs. Along the difficult road however is provided a demarcation line that signals continued safety. The family needs to be aware that they should never risk trying the danger side, but to permanently walk along the line of safety. If by chance they slipped to the wrong path, they must quickly change course. The road map is devoid of ease and comfort. The way is generally rough and steep. There never is provided an imperial avenue in the main thoroughfare towards family happiness.

Along the danger side of the road to family happiness are clear warning signs which include; anger, family disunity, disobedience, neglect, drug addiction, drunkenness, infidelity, dishonesty, materialism, pornography, adultery, selfishness and greed, hopelessness, and many such other destructive values which drag the family down into the precipice of destruction and woe.

In significant contrast there is provided an even clearer signs of safety along the secured path which consist of; love, unity, harmony, faith, charity, peace, understanding, hope, patience, virtue, persuasion, obedience, chastity, brotherly kindness, generosity, provident living, kindness, humility, diligence, temperance, godliness, tolerance, respect, loyalty, and other righteous principles and moral standards that point the way and lead the family forward to the gate of the blissful shore. This is the pathway that we need to track if we are to enjoy family happiness.

However, as we choose to pursue the path of happiness and safety, there will always be opposition. But as we put on the breastplate of righteousness we can never be moved away from the demarcation line between right and wrong.  When as a government employee I was tempted and forced to corrupt I rather took the distressing option to resign. My family was deprived of some needed provisions as a result of unemployment. But eventually my choice moved me forward to a much better and more advance work opportunity. When my son Robert Sherwin was asked to drink wine by his boss and in a form of humor was told that if he will not drink he will be laid-off, he told his boss straightway he would file his resignation the following day. As a result he gained more respect and trust. The attacks of the adversary may sometimes be very tough, but as we stand firm holding fast to the armor of faith we are sure to win our battle.

Rationalization on our imperfections and inadequacies oftentimes tempts us to snub safety signs and we end up troubled in consequence of our unwanted choices. We find ourselves tormented by the guilt for making the wasteful mistake. While the blunders are often done individually the effects usually involve the whole family. Our District President often tells of a humor that when newly married the husband talks and the wife listens. Five to 10 years later the wife talks and the husband listens. When children are on their teens, the father and mother shout at each other and the children listens. When children are grown-up they all talk together and their neighbors listen. Once we live in a rented house situated in the interior of a squatter’s area. One night, in the wee hours, I was awakened by a commotion and found that our neighbor was quarreling. I sensed that they are threatening each other with a knife. In the midst of their quarrel the husband shouted that he will burn the house. Everybody in the neighborhood was awakened for fear of the threat. In such home atmosphere never will dwell the spirit of family happiness.   

Yet, offered for each sinner is the way to change course---the principle of repentance. The Lord declared, “For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent, they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit---and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink---Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” (D & C 19: 16-19).

The attainment of such a universal goal of family happiness is a common responsibility of each member of the family with the father being in command. All must work together in unity, supporting each other in times of adversity, and ever ready to pull each other into the safe highway. The hopeful assurance of the atonement can be our source of daily strength and a sure steering guide along the pathway to family happiness.

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” (The family: A proclamation to the World).