BEING A HUSBAND, FATHER AND PRIESTHOOD LEADER

by: Norberto Betita

A paralyzed Branch President in Ghana

He went on a leave of absence from his daily waged job with the government depriving his family of a day’s income of PHP175.00 if only to be able to help save his flock---members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, from the threats of violent flooding. He called those who might be able to assist him in his efforts of assisting the evacuees but denied for reason that the family of the one appointed to help him in his ecclesiastical responsibility was in a hospital. But he did without anyway.

On one occasion he was instructed by those in authority to call on the personnel of the Church purposely employed to assist ecclesiastical leaders for instruction on how to deal with a large cluster of evacuees--members and non-members who took shelter at a Church meetinghouse. He obeyed only to be insulted and branded as mistrust. But in patience he did what was necessary, with so little expression of dismay. He was a Branch President. 

A sister suffering from cancer and her husband approached their appointed leader for counsel on how to deal with their problem. They confront their crisis in accord with the inspired instruction of their leader. They went to the best doctor, but sensed that the cost is not affordable and the healing promise not absolute and conclusive. The sister decided she would rather wait for her final appointment with God. However, her husband could not afford to just look at her in pain and suffering without the benefit of hospital care. Hence, he decided to convey her ailing body for hospital confinement. Their substantial savings from retirement and his share from the sale of a family property were drained. He requested the appointed leader if there is anything he could help. The leader requested for a fast offering assistance, but denied. I saw his tears as he read the text message of disapproval. He should have every reason to bring the matter to higher authorities. He refused for reason that his emotions might destroy his ability to receive inspirations that would be best for the suffering family. He perhaps was reminded of the words of Elder Boyd K. Packer, “The spiritual part of us and the emotional part of us are so closely linked that it is possible to mistake an emotional impulse for something spiritual. We occasionally find people who receive what they assume to be spiritual promptings from God, when those promptings are either centered in the emotions or are from the adversary.”

The following day he visited with the husband and told him in words most compassionate and kindly that the request had been disapproved. As I have the opportunity to witness, I felt the weight as I saw the loving and concerned husband with hands hung down. Late in the afternoon the husband came requesting his leader to visit his wife upon her request. The leader went and visited the suffering sister and conversed with her. But her tongue could no longer form a word to utter, she responded in signs that she wanted her leader to sing a hymn. Her words were no longer comprehensible as she desired to express the hymn she wanted to hear. Her leader tried a few but only to receive signs of denial, until he finally was inspired to sing, “How Great Thou Art”. The dear sister nodded in affirmation, and while the leader sung an emotional solo rendition in a hospital room, the sister slept in peace to her final rest. The leader was his Branch President. 

Sometimes I feel impatient each time I text message our District President and he would not even respond. Oftentimes I would receive his reply only late at night, or early morning the following day, or no reply at all. Then I came to realize that during his work hours he has to put off his cellphone because the ring tone sometimes become a shocker while he is up the climb of electrical posts as an electrician---cable TV lineman. 

He works eight hours-six days a week. He presides over six smaller units called branches of the church. Each Sunday he schedules a visit to one unit. When there are meetings with higher authorities which are scheduled generally during Saturdays and also during conferences, he has to go on a leave of absence. Usually he is not allowed to go on leave by his employer, yet by his earnest desire to serve and be taught by those in authority above himself, he usually go with unapproved leave of absence, and report back to work fabricating reasons of untruth. 

Such are some of the unheralded experiences, circumstances and sacrifices of the front line leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, particularly in the countryside. These sad and lonely experiences in the field are not always known by those who preside over them. They are kept in the hearts. There are so many of them in voluntary service. They vary in circumstances, experiences, levels of educations, professions, but they have one common objective---to serve the Lord and His people. They are educators, farmers, fishermen, carpenters, tricycle drivers, IT professionals, etc.. 

Unlike those ecclesiastical leaders in the Metropolitan areas they do not sport luxury cars. They go by second hand motorcycles, and many of them walked their way in ministering to their members. In the metropolis most members are gainfully employed, and so leaders take pride of high percentages of attendance. In the countryside these humble servants serve members who are unschooled and unemployed, and generally underemployed which make leadership callings more complex. Most members are going to the metropolitan areas where employments are easily available and Church employment centers are established to assist them and so leave the branches devoid of Priesthood leadership. 

These men do not wear the kind of expensive white shirts and ties that others are sporting. What many of them have remind me of an experience of Elder Boyd K. Packer when, “he was embarrassed as a new General Authority to go with one of the senior Brethren to a meeting of Church leaders because he did not have an adequate white shirt to wear.” (Quentin L. Cook). But they move with dignity and honor without regard for what the world around them would say.

Not one of them applied for such leadership positions in the Church. They are called by inspiration, “and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority” (Articles of Faith 5) over them. They are neither asked about their resume nor their qualifications. They are only asked fundamental questions of worthiness. They often openly express their inadequacies, but are eventually motivated by the knowledge that, “It is the Lord’s work, and when” they “are in the Lord’s errand,” they “are entitled to the Lord’s help.” They are promised, “Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.” (Thomas S. Monson). So, as duty calls they are always in the front line. They serve in different capacities---Branch President, District President, Elders’ Quorum President, Branch Mission Leader, and several others. 

On top of this mantle of Priesthood authority they are endowed and bestowed with divine responsibility of being husbands and fathers. These make their way of life very much different from the professional clergy. Their “Mormon” way of life becomes even more complicated and strenuous. 

As a husband he is bound by the pattern of marital intimacy which the Lord so specifically commanded, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29). As such his relationship as well as his duty towards his wife becomes preeminent. 

Being a father he is called upon to “provoke not” his “children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). His greatest “work is within the walls of his own home.” (Harold B. Lee). This paternal call requires that the family should be of paramount importance and should take precedence over all other activities and ambitions for “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” (David O. McKay). This responsibility carries with it the duty to provide, which therefore make him subject to his employer for the resources that he has to bring into the family. And there is what President Ezra Taft Benson described as, “One of the most difficult tests of all…when you have to choose between pleasing God or pleasing someone you love or respect---particularly a family member. The Lord said, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:37). 

This common dilemma among Priesthood leaders in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or “Mormons” are like a compilation of their life’s drama in trilogy---being a husband, a father, and a Priesthood leader with one definite ending, “To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39). 

Thomas S. Monson promised, “The Lord will shape the back to bear the burden placed upon them,” And so they continue in faith to bear with patience and perseverance the triple responsibility of trust which are divinely bequeathed upon them.