THE WARMTH OF AN APOSTLE’S EMBRACE

By: Norberto Betita 

President Dallin H. Oaks, autographed photo

When Elder Dallin H. Oaks was called and sustained as an Apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in General Conference of April 1984, he had his first visit as an Apostle in the Philippines sometime in 1986. During such time I was the Branch President of Surigao Branch under the Butuan Philippines District. In that visit he has in his itinerary a visit for an scheduled devotional at the Philippines Davao Mission, then presided by President Reynaldo Vergara, of which the Butuan Philippines District was part of the mission boundary.

I was privileged to have been invited by President Henry F. Acebedo, our District President to accompany him in going to Davao City by invitation from President Vergara. We were part of those who welcomed Elder Oaks at the Davao Airport, after which we proceeded to the Mission Homes located at the Insular Village. After some brief introduction he shook my hand and embraced me as though we were longtime friends. I was too small a Filipino to be encircled for the first time by a well-built oversize physical man in his early 50’s and a spiritual giant that for the first time in my life I felt the warmth of an Apostle’s embrace. Then we have some pictures taken with Elder Oaks, President and sister Vergara and President and sister Acebedo.

The following day we have to personally listen to the powerful modulated voice of a veteran radio announcer whom we knew to be by his admission during his devotional message at the Buhangin Philippines Stake Center. It was during that devotional that I heard him personally for the first time talked about callings in the church. He related that he was once a Regional Representative after which he was called to serve as adviser for the youth in the Aaronic Priesthood then as Gospel Doctrine Teacher. I am not so sure if I heard him right or have exactly remembered what he said, but I recalled that it was during his church service as Sunday School Gospel Doctrine class, and in his professional capacity as Justice of the Utah Supreme Court, that he was eventually called to serve as an Apostle. I remembered that it was from this diversity of callings, which he made as an example in his message that in the church, we are neither promoted nor demoted. “We just move around.”

This also became the subject of his October 2003 General Conference message, while he was on special assignment as Area President of the Philippines Area. He said: “A less serious worldly tradition that conflicts with gospel culture is the idea of upward or downward movement in positions. In the world, we refer to the up or down of promotions or reductions. But there is no up or down in Church positions. We just move around. A bishop released by proper authority and called to teach in Primary does not move down. He moves forward as he accepts his release with gratitude and fulfills the duties of a new calling—even one far less visible.” In the same message he related of an experience he had in the Philippines, thus:

“I saw a memorable example of this a few months ago in the Philippines. I visited a ward in the Pasig stake, near Manila. There I met Augusto Lim, whom I had known in earlier years as a stake president, a mission president, a General Authority, and president of the Manila temple. Now I saw him serving humbly and gratefully in his ward bishopric, second counselor to a man much younger and much less experienced. From temple president to second counselor in a ward bishopric is a beautiful example of the gospel culture in action.” (Dallin H. Oaks, Repentance and Change, October 2003 General Conference, lds.org).

During that devotional in Davao City, in his message about service and callings in the church, he also refreshed us of his first ever message as an Apostle delivered during the October 1984 General Conference, entitled “Why Do We Serve,” where he enumerated six reasons of service in the church which include, 1) service for hope of earthly reward; 2) service to obtain good companionship; 3) service out of fear of punishment; 4) service out of sense of duty or out of loyalty to friends, or family or traditions; 5) service motivated by hope for eternal reward; 6) “a more excellent way” service motivated by charity or the pure love of Christ. These were also part of a chapter in his book PURE IN HEART---Chapter 3---which I acquired later as a gift from a friend. I love what he wrote in the same chapter of the book which says, “Whenever we focus on ourselves, even in our service to others, we fall short of the example of our Savior, who gave himself as a total and unqualified sacrifice for all mankind. Those who seek to follow his example must lose themselves in their service to others.”

I treasured those lessons as a continuing motivation for me to serve. Since then I had served faithfully in different capacities in the church. I was called as a counselor in the Stake Presidency; twice as counselor in the District Presidency; three times as Branch President; a member of the high council, Elder’s quorum teacher; Sunday school teacher; Twice as counselor in the Mission Presidency and currently as auditor and District Sunday School President. I also encouraged my children to serve in the church as a matter of importance and priority.

For years the warmth of an Apostle’s embrace, which perhaps in my case can happen only once in a lifetime, had been an influence and a continuing impetus for me to serve in the church and Kingdom of God. What made that meeting even most memorable was the great love and thoughtfulness and respect that Elder Dallin H. Oaks as an Apostle of the Lord have shown to ordinary members in the provincial countryside like me. Weeks after that meeting, I received a mail at home with an autographed copy of an official photo of him as an Apostle with an inscription: “To Pres. Norberto Betita, with best wishes.” (Signed Elder Dallin H. Oaks). Never did I thought that he will remember me from out of the many people he met during that Philippine-trip. But he did, and that such expression of thoughtfulness and love from a living Apostle of the Lord, gave me such delight and elation.

That memorable encounter of 32 years ago with an Apostle of the Lord strikes a chord anew as I witness Elder Dallin H. Oaks move forward as the next senior apostle and being called as the first counselor in the First Presidency. O, how I love and sustain him, as much as I sustain President Henry B. Eyring and President Russel M. Nelson and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles!

DISTRICT CONFERENCE: THE WORTH OF A CRUMPLED SOUL

By: Norberto Betita

Elder Tomas S. Merdegia---right 

I love conferences, whether it be a General Conference rebroadcast or a District Conference, as much as I love Sacrament Meetings. I always spare the whole of those conference and Sacrament Meeting hours as precious times. These to me are the best times, aside from daily scripture reading, to be refreshed of the principles of truth and righteousness that are in the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ and partake of spiritual renewal away from worldly influences.

The Surigao Philippines District Conference we have of last was a kind of spiritual feast. The presence of two Area Seventies, one presiding---Elder Tomas S.  Merdegia---and Elder Ryan Pagaduan who served as the interim Mission President of the Philippines Butuan Mission, provided the best spiritual menu for the conference. Not to mention the added spiritual recipes that were provided by other speakers who are among the local district leaders.

The trainings as conducted were different from the usual way of teaching in conferences, but it strengthens and edifies. The messages are truly in focus to the current concerns among the membership of the District.

During the scheduled Sunday General Session, as it is our habit, I and my wife came very early, excited of what God’s message would be from his servants. It was timely that Elder Merdegia was still giving his message and direction to the youth of the Surigao Philippines District. We tried to find a temporary seat at the back and listened while waiting for the youth session to conclude. My attention was caught by Elder Merdegia’s illustration of taking from his wallet a crisp P500 bill and crumpled it hard. Then he asked the youth whether the process of crumpling or deforming the bill had changed its worth. As the youth responded favorably, he explained more clearly and brilliantly that like each of us, no matter how crumpled our lives may be, the worth of soul remains precious in the sight of God. He then quoted from memory a favorite poem by Bradley Ray Wardle ---The Diamond in the Rough:

A diamond in the rough,
is a diamond sure enough:
And before it ever sparkles,
it is made of diamond stuff;

But someone has to find it,
or it never will be found:
And someone has to grind it,
or it never will be ground;

In the hands of the master,
it is cut and burnished bright:
Then that diamond's everlasting,
shinning out its purest light...

He explained that as it is, a rough diamond cannot be refined without somebody finding it and working to grind it towards becoming a sparkling precious gem. So it is with a crumpled soul, through the ever extended hand of the Master refiner it can shine bright its purest light into eternity. Danette Kettwich in another version of “Diamond in the Rough” copyright 2007, so beautifully expressed:

I was once a hopeless, lost diamond, concealed in the dark.
In a wretched and dismal cave where, no light could touch my heart.

The Lord reached in and found, this rough and filthy stone.
From out of the immense darkness, He claimed me as His own.

He set to labor immediately, His love always prevailed.
The reductions made with clarity, using a hammer and three nails.

The cuts were not without, struggle, growth and pain,
But with each came a brighter glow; a new lesson gained.

After the cutting was complete, His brilliance now could shine.
Luminous for all to see, a radiant diamond now refined.

I am far from being flawless; He's perfecting my luster still,
This diamond in the rough, being transformed within His will.

I occasionally become tarnished, I still can find the dirt and grime,
But He always finds and inspires me, once again to shine.

I know someday I will reflect, with His pure and flawless light,
In the radiance and presence of Jesus, the Illuminator of my life.

The assaults of the evil one are getting stronger and fiercer each and every passing day. Many are deceived and dragged into the devil’s enticing and alluring bait down the greased slide towards greater submission to sin and error and have their lives scrunched and squeezed to spiritual ruin. The physical and spiritual consequences are hard to bear. The agony of pain and sorrow for sin are just as real as wrestling against harrowing torment and falling into the dark abyss. Yet we are not lost in the Lord’s sight from the eternal heavens. He finds, invites and guides us back towards regaining our spiritual worth, no matter how defeated and confounded our souls may have been. President Henry B. Eyring quoted George Q. Cannon as saying: “There is not one of us that He has not desired to save, and that He has not devised means to save.” (Henry B. Eyring, “To My Grandchildren,” Ensign, November 2013, 71; quoting George Q. Cannon, Contributor, October 1890, 476).

Hence, however rutted our souls, Elder Boyd K. Packer assured us that, “Save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, [and] no crime [is] exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the atonement of Christ. . . . This knowledge should be as comforting to the innocent as it is to the guilty [such as] parents who suffer unbearably for the mistakes of their wayward children and are losing hope.” (Boyd K. Packer, “The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness,” Ensign, November 1995).

During times of loneliness and despair, seemingly stripped of the influence of the Holy Ghost in consequence of sinfulness, we need not feel alone. Sister Janice Rosero, District Young Women President eloquently explained that our intimate relationship with the Lord is never lost. She quoted from the song by Michael McLean “You’re Not Alone”:

“You’re not alone, even though right now you’re on your own,
You are loved in ways that can’t be shown; your needs are known;
You’re not alone.
And when you cry, you’re just letting go of heartache deep inside,
And tomorrow there’ll be sunshine and sky and love close by;
You’re not alone.”

President Howard W. Hunter taught: "The scriptures … indicate that there will be seasons of time when the whole world will have some difficulty. We know that in our dispensation unrighteousness will, unfortunately, be quite evident, and it will bring its inevitable difficulties and pain and punishment. God will cut short that unrighteousness in his own due time, but our task is to live fully and faithfully and not worry ourselves sick about the woes of the world or when it will end. Our task is to have the gospel in our lives and to be a bright light, a city set on the hill, which reflects the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the joy and happiness that will always come to every people in every age who keep the commandments." (Howard W. Hunter, Teaching of the Presidents of the Church)

Indeed, in our walk in this telestial world, we are not left without a compass. The Lord has given us commandments to help keep us away from distortions and distractions that are very much common in the world today. President Pagaduan compared these commandments with the modern global positioning system (GPS). He explained that like the GPS if we only follow the commandments of God we will not be lost. He then related one experience when his GPS directed him to a different route. He tried to disobey the GPS confident that he knew better the way because he had been following the same very familiar route for years, only to find himself trapped in front of a bridge under repair. The GPS correctly points the detour as a way to safety, so are the commandments of God are always guiding us towards spiritual security.

However, many of us, steered by our pride and personal conviction that we know better according to the best experiences and brilliant ideologies in life, succumbed to temptations and disobey detour warnings. Soon we find ourselves spiritually wrecked and broken; become tainted and ruined in consequence of our disobedience. The once bright light that illuminates our lives turned dark and dreary to the end that our minds are blurred and brains worn out into a state of spiritual amnesia.

Yet it is promised that the Lord will come, “like a refiner’s fire, and like fuller’s soap; and he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness” (D & C 128:24; see also 3 Nephi 24:2-3).

Thus, no matter the extent of damage brought upon the crumpled soul, there is always hope for the Lord’s refining process to turn its dismal and ugly past to its crisp condition and shine back in spiritual luster and great worth.

RELIVING THE FAMILY LEGACY

Janedina Gasta Betita-Depano Story

By Norberto Betita

Janedina Gasta Betita-Depano

When we were young we were always reminded by our parents to study and attain the highest education that we possibly can. Our maternal grandparents had also the same motivation for us. Education, they would say, is the only legacy that they can leave which could not be taken from us. There were thirteen of us children. Their daily living and means of livelihood are really not enough to support us in our quest for education and learning. Although most of us desired to attain at least college education others are reluctant because of our family’s economic condition.

It is of Filipino tradition that parents are to shoulder the education of their children through college and even post graduate if needs be. Therefore, with poverty always in front of our economic battle, the motivations and dreams of our parents for us to obtain the highest education possible are seemingly just a simple exercise of hope and faith and parental expectations for their children to rise above the level of penury where they had been constantly immersed.

However, with gut-wrenching determination and hard work dredged from their deepest desires for us children to be able to cross the chasm of our despondency, they pushed hard for our education to the best that they could most hardly afford to support. With such unbending parental support all of us went through and made it to high school education which during our time was already good enough. Some of us went through college still principally dependent from the support of our parents with assistance from our already employed siblings. College then was a very difficult pursuit with inadequate family finances. So that when opportunity for employment comes, we take no second thoughts and resign our educational dreams into the path of uncertainty.

The family now

Such was the case of my elder sister Janedina Gasta Betita. She was an intelligent student. While I was in high school and she was in college, I envied her grades. She studied hard knowing that the money invested in our education by our parents were hard-earned. But because of hard times, after her second year in college with a course leading to a degree in commerce, she decided instead to take the opportunity to work in the newly established Surigao Nickel Refinery, leaving behind her dreams for a college degree to the uncertain future.

While in such employment she met a humble man---Jaime Depano who would later became her marital partner. Jaime who was fondly called by his nickname Jimmy was a graduate of vocational course from Tarlac. He was the personal driver of the Administrative Manager while my sister Janie, as she is fondly called, was working as a clerk in the Personnel Section under the Administration Department. It was there that they met regularly and eventually became close, leading them to the sacred altar of matrimony. By their marriage their common dreams of obtaining a college degree were totally closed.

Remembering Jimmy now beyond the veil

As children came into the marriage and family in close succession, Janie eventually resigned from her job and focused on nurturing and rearing the children. She understood that, “The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your universe. You relinquish that position to your children” (Jessica Lane). It was also timely that Jimmy’s vocational skills and communication and management capabilities were noted by the management and he was promoted into a Keyman---a supervisory position in the Plant Maintenance Department---and further promoted to the position of a Junior Staff. Jimmy’s junior executive position provided enough for the family’s needs and even the prospects of their children’s college education. Hence, included in their future family plans and goals were that of reliving the family legacy for their children’s obtaining the highest education they possibly could attain, which to them was bolted as a result of penury.

In my close association with Jimmy and Janie, I found them to be living in love, unity, harmony and peace as husband and wife. Such a legacy of family solidarity remains with their children even today. Their combined generosity and benevolence are still evident even with their children. They believed that the gift that makes the wallet frown, but rejoices and excites the heart is the most acceptable offering for loved ones and others.

Family of eldest daughter---Jeanette

Family life runs smoothly well until the children were already in their teens and the eldest already in college taking up a course in Nursing. During those moments of caring for her children with love and tenderness, Janie realized the truth expressed in the words of an unknown author: “The most precious jewels you’ll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children.”

While family resources may have been sufficiently provided, the weight of full time stay-at-home mother with nurturing responsibilities for four growing children, plus the consequent daily duty shift from mother to wife to attend to the tired and weary husband and provider, leaves for her no empty space for relaxation. Such heavy burdens attendant to her relentless struggles to train her four children in righteousness and guiding them daily in the right direction developed in her a steel in the spine. The prospect of a brighter future for the children remains bright until in the late 1980’s, when the Nickel Refinery closed. The unfortunate consequence of Union unrest was a tragedy to many of the employees of the company including Jimmy and Janie’s family.

The family have to temporarily transfer residence to the hometown of Jimmy in Tarlac while he was on interim assignment to report for office at the company’s Head Office in Manila. The transition was hard for the family. However, Jimmy and Janie never surrendered their commitment to support their children in their college education. They believed in the saying by Aristotle that “The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” Their eldest daughter have to be supported in her studies until she eventually finished her course and passed the Nursing Board Examinations. In the process of supporting the eldest, the second child---Jonathan had to temporarily stop schooling for one semester and tried to find employment.

Jimmy and Janie during their earlier married life

While in Manila Jimmy, knowing and realizing that there seemed to be only little hope remaining for the company to re-operate, tried to find opportunities abroad. His long years of executive plant maintenance experience in one of the largest Nickel Refinery in the world became instrumental in his bid for an executive position in a Japanese company based in Indonesia. He was employed and had to leave the family in the care of Janie. They rented an apartment in Quezon City for the children to be nearer the University of their choice and for their eldest daughter Jeanette to have easy access to her employment.

Reliving the family legacy was revitalized and college education for the children was again brightly programmed. Jimmy and Janie believed that “Education is not an expense, it’s an investment” (Nicholas A. Ferroni). Eventually Jonathan returned to college and graduated with a degree in Electronics and Communications Engineering. Jerwin, the third child, followed suit and graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Business Management. The excitement and determination to finally achieve their family goals brought another joy as the fourth child--- Joyce---finally graduated with a degree in Nursing and became the second Registered Nurse in the family.

The sweet fruit of success in reliving the family legacy on the importance of education did come, not in the comforts of an elevator ride, but in a step by step climb amidst adversities, to the summit of attainment and victory.

Jimmy and Janie were ecstatic of the accomplishment of their dreams for their children. They were very confident that the rest of their goals and plans for the family would undoubtedly come to pass. 

Janie at the President Ronald Reagan Library, USA

However, the grand and glorious enjoyment and celebration of triumph was short-lived when a heartrending tragedy occurred in time when Jerwin was scheduled to leave for employment in Dubai. Jimmy died while on employment abroad. To the family the tragic event was too much of a trial to bear. Yet all the more that they become united in battling with such intense adversity---losing a husband, father and provider. Exercising their faith and devotion to God, they accepted it as the refiner’s fire in their lives. They  centered their faith in the Lord's promise: "And I will bring [them] through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried; they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God" (Zecariah 13:9).

Moving up to the goal which Jimmy and Janie had jointly drawn earlier in marriage, Janie stood firm and joined forces with her children to carry on. After all they have already savored the sweet fruit of success and fulfillment of their dreams for the children. In her and her children’s minds run the final lines of the poem by Clinton Howell---Don’t Quit.

“Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.”

With the insurance proceeds of Jimmy and the family helping together, they hold on to faith and wrestled life’s challenges with greater fervor and undaunted commitment and optimism.

The eldest---Jeanette---eventually joined the Filipino diaspora in the United States of America and worked as a Nurse, while the three others remained with their local employments. Together they combined resources and built a modest family home and bought a car of their own. And for Janie a grand vacation to the United States and some parts of Asia in reciprocation of those missed relaxing times and moments as a result of her affectionate dedicated submission to her spousal, motherhood and family duties.

Janie with her last born---Joyce at their home
in Quezon City

As Janie now sits on an elegant sofa in their beautiful living room, she must have remembered Jimmy with fondness and affection and certainly missed those times when love and tenderness had been the inspiration and gleaming light in their early marriage as they paint in panoramic view their future happy and successful family life. Jimmy may not have physically witnessed the dawn of final victory and the sunshine of ultimate fulfillment, yet all his sacrifices are never forgotten and are always made a part in the family’s book of remembrance and in the tablet of each other’s heart. Indeed, to Janie and the children, the drink that came with the bitter cup now tastes evermore sweeter and grander.

There is no greater joy and gladness for a mother than to receive sincere expressions of gratitude and love from her children in acknowledgement of her sacrifices as did this birthday greetings a year ago from her last born daughter---Joyce: “Maligayang kaarawan sa pinakamamahal kong mama! You taught me every meaning in life, you taught me the real meaning of strive. Thanks mom for being such a great inspiration. Hats off to your dedication. I am what I am today, only because you were there for me all these years. I wouldn't be half the person I am today if you had not showered me with your wise advice and love. I love you mama! Wishing you all the best today and always, 03/11/2017.”

At 68, Janie is now alone walking the lonely lane reserved for the aged, but happy, contented and joyful and enthusiastically fulfilled. She loves to help care and guide her grandchildren, if only to be sure that the family legacy bequeathed by our parents may move forward to the next and coming generations.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY IMMEDIATE ELDER SISTER JANIE! It is my wish and fervent prayer that God will bless you with continued health and vigor to enjoy the remaining lap of your life's race with contentment and abounding family love!