by: Norberto Betita
She is well-liked and trendy, while my personality seemed to
give the impression of a straggler. By her widespread popularity in the campus,
and the smartly expression of her outside beauty, she appeared hard to get
by. I knew her since high school, yet never did I attempt to even ask her of
such days gone by if only to open a friendly dialogue. But circumstances gave
place for our roads to cross, and my nasty assumptions of her personality and
character all vanished. Then with feelings mutual and hands clasped we
eventually entered the covenant of marriage. Later as we became members of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints our marital bond was sealed for
time and all eternity.
In our search for an eternal companion we sometimes set our
focus on the outward countenance, personal accomplishments, financial
achievements, and other forms of temporal security. But such is never a guarantee for a marriage
to endure for eternity.
While it is impossible to know all about the character and
personality of a person in one quick look or even within an established
friendship, it is always important to discover something good about somebody
whom you might want to be a part of you, not only for a lifetime but most importantly
for an eternal companionship. The good in a person generally overlie the
undesirable in him. My rugged blue jeans looked brown from dusts for long days
of wearing. I generally sport a rubber slipper on campus. I do not bring books
or a notebook which my classmates generally do. I only have in my back pocket a
folded scratch bond papers and a ball pen to take notes during classes. Those were not some kind of my own stylistic
way of starting a trend. It was the real me. I am a poor man and I could not
afford the contemporary styles of my youthful years. Thanks to my dearest
Letty. She looked at me from the inside-out. She saw by her unflawed vision my
innate character and person, and the many good traits that deep in my heart are
hidden. And, for such all the unpleasant picture of my outward appearance are
for her obscured.
Our Love Story -
Most often than not, stories of love start with physical
attraction, friendship and courtship which finally lead to a sumptuous
preparation for marriage vows and festivities, but our love story is quite the opposite.
I first met my dearest Letty in high school. I was a year
ahead of her, but we have not had the kind of acquaintance that often starts
with a friendship. It was never in my
wildest dream that we would met again in college. In my second year in college
at the Northeastern Mindanao Colleges (NEMCO), where I studied banking and
finance, I had occasionally met Letty. Yet not once did we ever have the
opportunity to even start an informal chat, until we became classmates in the
English 126 subject about the history of Jose Rizal. She always looked very
beautiful and sexy with her super mini-skirt on, which was the fashion of those
days. She sits in front while I occupy a desk at the back, a practice I usually
do in all my classes, trying to hide my unkempt personality. It was never in my mind that I would one day
be a friend to her. She is one of those beautiful coeds in the campus and a
popular friend among the most prominent students. She is a favourite to ROTC
Cadets being a cadet sponsor. In distressing contrast, I am an unpopular and
unattractive guy, one so lowly a student with only a piece of blue jean to wear
in a week, browned by the dusts on school desks; and a pair of rubber slippers.
While it is a course requirement, I usually dropped my ROTC, the uniform being
unaffordable for a very poor student as I was. Hence, I sported a long hair and
a long beard and moustache. Some of my classmates even called me “Custer of the
West”, a long haired and bearded character in a movie of the same title. I was then of no comparison to the good
looking guys who wore the pastel coloured “golden award” popular brands of garments
of those days.
Perhaps my only real advantage over other students is my sincere
devotion to my studies. I was always
best prepared for class discussions and tried my very best to excel in my
examinations. This exceptional attitude somehow attracted friends for me in the
campus, but of course, not Letty.
During one of our English 126 class, Letty was among those
scheduled to report. When it was her time to present, she was stormed with
questions from a flashy and proud guy, who wanted to show to all, that he has a
superior intelligence. Since his
questions where kind of fill in the blanks and definitions and just for the
heck of showing his ostentatious intellectual ability, I requested our
instructor to stop the questioning as it is only wasting our time. But the
young man insisted and continued to raise his nuisance questions, which Letty
readily answered from out of his written report. In exasperation over that egotistical
guy, I started to throw questions that insights debate and serious discussions
with answers not readily found in the written report. I followed through until Letty could no
longer find words to explain and eventually lead her to tears, perhaps in
desperation and shame. She was then saved by the bell signalling that our
classes had ended. Immediately I ran to her and beg for a sincere apology. She
was still misty-eyed and angry, and never wanted to talk to me. I stayed until
she decided to go home. I followed her to the boarding house. She must have
felt the sincerity of my apologies that she finally forgave me. For sometimes
we never talked, although we met every other day in our English 126 class. Time
healed and we eventually find time to chat with each other occasionally and
became friends.
In time the same anger which brought Letty to tears, bridged
the gap on the road to a more serious binding relationship between the victim
and the perpetrator. Her friends were all the while negative of the
relationship. Even college instructors and advisers of ROTC cadet sponsors were
strongly against. They display their unsolicited objections by some kind of
rhythm that at times was already hurtful. I am a young man then who fashioned a
long hair and beard when the prevailing style was clean-cut military look. However,
as she got serious about it, they all eventually understood her predicament.
Her only reason to convince them was that I am totally different inside than my
outside countenance and appearance.
Yet, even more serious was the opposition of her family,
especially her mother. Our relationship was challenged and tried for so long,
but we became even more loyal towards each other. Until on the New Year’s Day
of 1974, we went on a dinner date, but ended up strolling around for all
restaurants were closed for the holiday. We went home at about 6:00 PM at their
rented apartment and were met with an outrage from her mother. I was never
allowed to enter, and with her mother’s continued outcry, her father was
irritated and shouted, “Uman tadtaron ko ton” (should I stab that fellow). For
fear, Letty dragged me out. The following day she went to her “Ninang” and
requested to stay. She clandestinely took her clothes from their apartment and
continued to report for office, while I went home for work and secretly
prepared our papers for marriage. When everything was ready, on January 23,
1974, I requested my mother to buy some food stuffs worth P50.00 for a dinner.
Upon her arrival from fish vending and with meat and other food stuffs ready
for cooking, I told my parents we are getting married, which was to their
greatest surprise. I requested them to contact the Municipal Mayor whose
residence is just across our home. We also contacted my godfather and my aunt
as witnesses for our wedding that same night. After the wedding ceremony, we
enjoyed together our P50.00 worth of a wedding reception at home, which perhaps
no other prospective couple would ever dare to economically match.
The rest is a story of greater love amidst joy and gladness;
trials and tribulations; the challenges of raising, rearing and nurturing five
kids and a foster daughter. But the wonder of it all is that like the century redwood
and old oak trees, the P50.00 worth of a wedding had miraculously stood the tests
of time and endured 39 years of marital bond, still holding on, seasoned by
years of struggles and hardships, strengthened by a healthy loving
relationships of a man and a woman whose love for each other and of their
children had never faltered amidst continuing storms. Their love which knows no
bound was sealed with a covenant for time and all eternity by the Holy
Priesthood in the House of the Lord.
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