THE BEAUTY IN HER WRINKLES

by: Norberto Betita

Beauty has its own expression. To one it may be sadly described as ugly. To some it may be beautiful. And to others it may be superlatively expressed as exquisite loveliness. Yet whatever depiction we give of one’s countenance, the old saying remains true, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

One Sunday at home after our Church services while waiting for our dinner food to cook my beloved wife told us that one sister expressed concern and told her that her face seemed to have lost a bit of glow. The sister must have observed the wrinkles lining on her face. My dear Letty seemed to be worried also about what she heard, although I sensed that her concern is more about her health rather than her wrinkles. I have my hands gently touched her face and told her in the presence of one of my daughters, “You need not have to worry about your wrinkles for to me it signifies and epitomize an even greater beauty than your youthful loveliness of long ago.” I made her understand that her wrinkles symbolizes the long years of our loving relationship; years of upholding marital covenants; millions of hours and extended nights of rearing raising and fostering five children; long years of uninterrupted and continuing service in the church and Kingdom of God; prolonged years of adversities and afflictions, depressions and despair; drawn out journey under sunshine and shadows, joys and sorrow. Such an account paints a picture of exquisite beauty and loveliness made abstract by the lines of a wrinkled face.

This early dawn of October 30, 2013, as I prayed especially for my dear Letty on her 64th birthday, tears just freely flow as thoughts of her devotion and divine affection as a wife and mother to our children once again opened a clear reflection of the wonderful memories of those 39 years we shared together. Even in the dark precincts of our living room where we sleep, I got a glimpse of the beauty in her wrinkles as I look at her soundly asleep in the stillness of dawn. I should have kissed her with an awakening word of love. But I rather kept my anxiousness until three of our cellphones rang with birthday messages from our daughter Kathleen who lives in Cebu City. Then she was awakened, and that was when I expressed my sincere love and greetings with a tender kiss and a firm hug.

In the morning of her birthday we went to church for a spiritual enhancement program of one entire district of Department of Education teachers in which I was to preside and speak. In attendance were approximately 140 teachers mostly women. I assigned Letty to give a message and I was touched as she again talked about the role of mothers and wife. Again I have my eyes filled with tears as I express gratitude for her expressions of love and announced that even on her birthday she still have time to be in service to God and fellowmen.

We are in the sunset of our lives and our physical health and vigor are no longer as sturdy and resilient as they were in years precedent. However, I felt that the bonds that unite our love for each other as husband and wife have grown ever stronger and robust as to withstand every wind of adversity along our eternal journey.

I am reminded of the thoughts I wrote about her on mother’s day. “I saw the divine attribute of motherhood in my dearest wife. In the confines of our home and family, she is the first nursery or kindergarten teacher helping each of our children to identify colors, letters, numbers, etc. She is the first school teacher, teaching our children to first read and write and do arithmetic. She is the first nurse to respond in times of sickness. In the playing fields of the home, she is the dearest playmate. In times of emotional, physical and spiritual anxieties, she is the first to provide refuge. Despite cobwebs, termites and crowded rooms, she makes our children feel comfortable at rest. She is the first to cry when consequences of failed decisions roll up amongst our children. Her loving arms are always extended to the prodigals. Not once did she buy a new dress for herself, but for her children. Her selfless love and service to our children make her role even more divine.”

On Valentine’s day of last I wrote, “As I awaken my dearest Letty on this cold and drizzling dawn by a hug and sweet kisses for the Valentine’s Day, she kissed me back and in a tone attuned to the silent breeze of daybreak expressed her love and said, “this is no different day, for everyday with you is very special to me.

“Not a hundred bouquets of red roses can equate such wonderful inspired words of fondness and affection from one whose devotion and love knows no bounds. In years of marital companionship love, trust and respect had become clasping straps that bind our hearts together as we go along the complexity of life’s obstacles and the deepest pit of trials onward to an enduring relationship.

"In reflections of the wonderful memories in which our love for each other was richly endowed, I am reminded of the literary masterpiece of the legendary Shakespeare. These I would like to quote and dedicate on this Valentine’s Day to my dearly beloved Letty and to my fair daughters who are also trying to walk the pathway their mother walked:

Sonnet 116: “Let me not to the marriage of true minds”
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove;
O no! it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wondering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
(William Shakespeare, 1564-1616)

The beauty in her wrinkles is and will be enhanced as the lines are increased by her enduring journey in mortality. Until the timeless origin of her pre-mortal beauty blooms back with brilliant glow into eternity.

THE PARABLE OF THE CORN FARMER

by: Norberto Betita

In the life stories of men we learn many relevant lessons that contribute to appropriate applications in our daily run of life’s activities. On many occasions a true story of one man, becomes a parable to others. Sad experiences help others to learn to battle and endure adversities of life, and success stories allows us to realize that even in abundance and prosperity there is still a challenge and a goliath to defeat. Such is the story of one man who worked hard to find success. He almost made it to the top, but was pulled down by variables which he failed to project.  His story becomes the parable of the corn farmer.

There was once a poor man who lives happily with his family in a dungeon like apartment. His three children sleep on the cement floor with a two (2) inches mattress serving as protective shield from the cold, while for him and his wife is only a thin native floor mat. Rodents awake them in the stillness of the night.  Yet, despite poverty and deprivation, he and his family enjoyed their life with faith and fervor.

One day a rich friend came and offered him to cultivate a corn field, with the promise to provide him with all that he needs in the crop growing process. The negotiations included a very strong and powerful motivation for a prospective abundant life for him and his family. With visions high for the welfare of his struggling family, he resigned from his low paying job and accepted the offer.

True to his promise, his rich friend provided him with the needed tools to start working on the corn field. His friend even advised him to leave their one-room dungeon like apartment and transfer to a more comfortable dwelling. Confident that he will truly make a good harvest with the help of his rich friend, he consented. As has been his inherent personal virtue, he worked very hard to develop the small corn field. Despite his inexperience, he was able to cultivate the field towards a good harvest.

The rich friend, observant of the industry of the neophyte corn farmer, offered the latter with a bigger field to cultivate. True to his commitment to his friend and motivated by his earnest desire for growth and development for his family, and to help those who suffer the same deprivations as he has—the poor and needy, he accepted the second offer. With increased enthusiasm and gusto, he worked even harder to develop the new field and planted more and more corn, with higher prospects for a better harvest. He often left home leaving his family to the protective care of his in-laws.

Impressed by his innate ability to move their partnership undertaking to progress, his good rich friend again offered him an even bigger and more fertile field.  This time, he was hesitant, for he would be much farther from home. The rich friend, however, was very insistent and offered a spacious and more comfortable house for his family to live, with some rental subsidy. The farmer finally consented and moved his family to a far distant place.  He then tilled the field and found it to be very fertile, and in so short a time through diligence and hard work, had planted more and more seeds on a very productive farm. He envisioned a very fruitful harvest and invested more in the cultivation process, applying every conceivable method, acquiring most needed tools and equipments, and hiring additional workers to assure himself and his rich friend of a bountiful harvest. Soon enough, he saw each plant yielding plentiful ears of corn bulging with bold and solid kernels, a sure sign of a more abundant harvest.

However, as the harvest season came, his rich friend became envious of the bold and solid kernels and the spirit of greed crept in his heart. With intents to do the harvest all by himself, the rich friend suspended all his support to the farmer, and charged the latter of accounts beyond his immediate ability to pay. Then in a short while, the rich man took control of the cultivated fields and stripped the farmer of all that he possessed even his dignity, honor and reputation. With hands hanged down and head bowed the corn farmer returned to where he started.

The lessons we can learn from this parable applies both to the rich and the poor. To the poor it is a reminder that,  “Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith.” (Proverbs 15: 16.) It is oftentimes better to decide to leave the “treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal,” (Matthew 6:19), even if we have to bow our heads in shame, and be stripped of dignity, honor and reputation. We would rather lose everything that we so diligently and faithfully worked for, if needs be in favor of “treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through and steal.” (Matthew 6:20.) Therefore, “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.” (Proverbs 22:1). As in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-25), Lazarus begged for “crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table,” but at his death he “was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom.” 

It is also a plain reminder that at times we have to put some limits to our trust, especially as regards financial matters as in the words of Micah “Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide…” (Micah 7:5). We need to be reminded by these words from the Psalmist, “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.” (Psalm 118:8).

To the rich, this parable teaches that “He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house…(Proverbs 15:27). It is a clear warning that, “the love of money” which “is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10), at times makes him like “… greedy dogs which can never have enough…” (Isaiah 56:11.) And “…with eyes full of greediness..” (D & C 68:31), he is sometimes tempted to choose even to keep the crumbs for himself. Then, “Like as a lion that is greedy of his prey…” (Psalms 17:12), he takes all from his victim even that which he does not own. Sometimes he forgets that as he covets and “erred from the faith,” he can be “pierced…through with many sorrows.” (1 Timothy 6:10.) Hence in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-25), the rich man when he died, “in hell he lift up his eyes.”

The story of the rich young ruler who asked Jesus how he can inherit eternal life could be a fitting message. Jesus told him “Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother. ” And the young ruler responded that “all these I have kept from my youth up.” Jesus then,  “said unto him, ...lackest thou one thing, sell all that thou hast,  and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me. The young ruler was very sorrowful: for he was very rich.” The Lord’s promise and guarantee for treasures in heaven which are eternal in replacement of the young ruler’s earthly riches which are temporal did not as even find a place in the latter’s heart.  This made Jesus to say, “How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” (Luke 18:18-25.) However, I believe that it is not about being rich or having an abundant life that make it hard for a man to enter the kingdom of God but it is the attitude towards riches that becomes a deterrent.

The best alternative for both the rich and the poor is found in the Lord’s admonition, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33.) The Lord promised, “Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land.” (2 Nephi 1:20.) It is also important that they should be worthy to be taught by the Holy Ghost of “the peaceable things of the Kingdom” (D &C 36:2) for both the rich and the poor to be at peace with everybody in their associations. And as we develop the attributes of charity, which is the pure love of Christ, then whether we are poor or rich, bond or free, we will reap the promised joy and gladness in the kingdom of God.

If the story may be extended, the corn farmer, after such unimaginable failure may chose to “go on, living only a shadow of life” he “could have led, never rising to the potential that is” his “birthright.” And, therefore allow “worldly sorrow” to pull him “down, and extinguish” his “hope, and persuade” him “to give in to further temptation.” Yet he also has the choice to recognize his mistake and rise up with “godly sorrow” which “inspires change and hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” For, “our destiny is not determined by the number of times we stumble but by the number of times we rise up, dust ourselves off, and move forward.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf.) However, the choice remains in him for he has the moral agency to choose for himself. 

ONE SACRAMENT MEETING AT CHRISTMAS

by: Norberto Betita

Christmas lights and decorations, products promotions, and even Christmas countdown are now published daily on television for the blessed and joyful season. Businesses are redoubling their stocks and supplies, augmenting display designs in the market, and posting very attractive Christmas advertisements, and aggressive marketing campaigns to entice and capture the interest of shoppers, especially at these times when Christmas benefits are almost due for distribution. Plans for sumptuous parties and social gatherings are now being discussed in offices, schools and every other organized groups of people.

A similar nipa hut where the family lives

Observant of the premature lavish preparations for Christmas festivities, my memory remits one Christmas time event which occurred during our scheduled Sacrament Meeting on December 19, 2010. My heart bleeds at the sight of a widowed father carrying his two very young children on a hand cart which he pushed at a distance of approximately 3 kilometers away under the rain. He earns a living scavenging and rummaging recyclable scrap materials from trash containers all around the community. At times he is seen carrying on his back the dirty collections in a large empty sack of rice later to be piled for sale to scrap buyers. Together with his children they live in a nipa hut down a hill, in Sitio Cayutan, Barangay Cagniog, Surigao City, Philippines. They arrived just before the sacrament meeting started. The father and children were wet. Immediately, sympathetic hearts were touched and the children were given clothes to wear from extra clothing which mothers brought in reserve for their children during rainy season. Acts of generosity abound and Christ like charity was immediately available to lift the needy from such a forbidding sight.

I could not hold back the tears at sacrament meeting as I partook of the Lord’s Supper, and as my memory brought me to the account of the Master’s birth when He was also denied the comforts of even just an available room for His mother to give birth and for Him to lie on. But he was instead afforded an animal stable where he was finally given birth and was “wrapped in swaddling clothes, and laid in a manger” (Luke 2:7). In that most humble nativity “there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God,” from on high announcing the glorious tidings of great joy “saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men” (Luke 2:13-14). He was long prophesied to be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, but since that humble birth, He was simply known as the carpenter’s son. He walked the lonely road of Jericho, performed miracles for the lonely, the distressed, and the afflicted. On one occasion, He performed miracles to ten lepers, but only one ever returned to express gratitude to Him by whose miraculous and powerful hands relieved the men from their sufferings and afflictions.

Birth of Jesus (source: lds.org)

Now, we are once again celebrating the glorious event, even the birth of our Lord and Savior. We wonder if the tide of commercialism associated with the celebration would ever reflect the true and enduring meaning of Christmas. We don’t know if we even have the Lord, His mission and His Atoning sacrifice, come into our thoughts on this blessed season of the year. We wonder if like the ten lepers, there would even be one out of ten that would come to partake of the Sacrament on that blessed day in remembrance and expression of gratitude after He suffered in the garden of Gethsemane and died on the cross at Calvary’s hill, saving us from our sins that we might not suffer even as He suffered.

That widowed father, in his impoverished condition, seemed to have nothing to be grateful for, except perhaps for his life and his two children. Yet he came carrying his own Calvary's cross to partake at the table of the Lord to remember His atoning sacrifice and worship Him on a Sabbath immediately before the Christmas Day. In his destitution, he finds no reason to complain and default, but came many Sundays more since then and even now, to renew his covenant and partake of the blessed Sacrament.    

Greed and materialism flourish even more clearly each Christmastime. The humility and simplicity exemplified by Jesus Christ at His birth is now seen as a pathetic display of prideful sumptuous feasts and commercial covetousness. While we celebrate the birth of the one who exhorts us to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees,” (D & C 81:5), and reminded us that if we would do these “unto one of the least of these...brethren” (Matthew 25:40), we have done it unto Him, we instead spend more for our own self gratification, and gain more from the high premiums we add on the prices of goods and services in our businesses, somehow forgetting the call for generosity and benevolence which the Lord himself exemplified.

The message of Christmas was paramount for all---a precious and wondrous gift from God. It is not about His most humble birth, but all about His Atonement. The great light that was shown during that first Christmas illuminates both the way for the wealthy wise men and the humble shepherds watching their flocks by night. The wealthy wise men offered gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The poor shepherds offered gifts of their time and love to come to the stable where the Lord was humbly laid.

The Atonement (source: lds.org)

Since that first Christmas, the gift of love, light and life which only the Lord Jesus Christ could bestow, were both for the rich and the distressed, the strong and the weak, and the healthy and the afflicted. His invitation to partake of the infinite gift of His Atonement for the sins of the world was extended to all. To the rich young man He invited, “... sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me” (Luke 18:22). To the lonely and the weary He summoned, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:29). To the wounded and worn out, He sends His ever comforting assurance, “...peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment” (D & C 121:7). To both the faithful and the sinners He declared, “For behold, I, God, have suffered these thing for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent” (D & C 19: 16).

The pathetic sight of a suffering family on that afternoon of December 19, 2010, the last Sabbath prior to Christmas Day of that year, who come to worship the Lord and remember Him, was such a kind of attitude that perhaps we need to emulate not only at Christmas, but the whole year through. After partaking the holy ordinance of the Sacrament, and receiving greetings from those whose hearts he touched, the father loaded his two children on the handcart covering them with an umbrella from a generous benefactor. He carried by hand and pushed the handcart with only two semi-metal wheels in front under the pouring rain. While riding a utility tricycle ourselves, we passed by them and our hearts throb as we saw the father carrying and pushing the heavy handcart, resting every few distance, onwards to another three kilometers on the lonely road to his own Calvary’s hill. How we wished we have our own bigger utility vehicle to accommodate them, but we felt it enough to have been taught that day of a wonderful lesson on how to celebrate the blessed season. We knew that the family had been blessed with the real joy at Christmas by the source of all happiness, even God, more than the goods that the world could give.

MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY OF THE PROPHET JOSEPH SMITH

by:  Norberto Betita

I know that by the title alone, I am on the road for critical social media assaults. But let me be lambasted by the ire of the brilliant critics from the diversity of believers in this modern world and those who are not of my faith and I will hold fast and try not to move an inch away from the demarcation line upon which my personal testimony and witness of the prophetic calling of Joseph Smith stand, even at this day and time. There are so much logical proofs that are clearly understandable even by such simple man as I am.  In so far as intellectual prominence is concerned, I am no genius of scriptural records and religious history. My intelligence is far from scholarly, but I am confident in what I have to say for such witness came from the very source of all knowledge and pure intelligence, even from God through the Holy Ghost which expands my understanding and enlighten the depths and profundity of my conscience.  

As the signs of times are increasing and the work of salvation hastening on, I felt I have a duty to declare what the Lord would have me testify to help build His Church and Kingdom and to invite more of His children to come unto Christ.  I do feel the need to respond to the divine call to “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places...even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life.” (Mosiah 18:9.) It would be hypocritical for me to say that my intentions would be for the promised eternal life for this work is but only one of the many things which God commanded his people to do.  But that I should do it as a solemn and profound duty of a bearer of the Holy Priesthood of God.  

Logic and reason would enlighten that it would be such foolish a thing to offer one’s life for something that is fictitious or counterfeit pronouncements. It would be such a fool for a man---a young father, who has so much potential in life as to bear persecutions even almost beyond any man to endure, and to finally lay down his life for the cause he had espoused, if such were not true. Yet the Prophet Joseph Smith continued to declare with boldness:  “...I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true, and while they were persecuting me, reviling me and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision, and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision, I knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it, at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God and come under condemnation.” (Joseph Smith---History 1:25.)

In the midst of his agonizing pain from incarceration at Liberty in a dungeon jail worthy only for ruthless criminals, he raised his petition to his Maker, “O God, where art thou and where is the pavilion which covereth thy hiding place. How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?” (D&C 121:1-3.) His feelings must have been truly beyond all patience, his faith must have gone almost to its limits, his soul might have raised a flier for surrender, but then he heard God’s penetrating answer, “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine affliction shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” (D&C 121;7-8.) In such an undesirable setting, he received many more instructions and revealed doctrines which to me personally have been a guide and an inspiration during my most trying moments.

George Albert Smith declared: “Abused and misrepresented though he was, despised by those who should have been his friends, opposed by the learned and scholarly men of the time, he succeeded in restoring the Gospel of life and salvation and establishing the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

“While the powers of evil were ever active for his destruction, he was preserved by the Lord until his work was finished and all the keys and ordinances necessary for the salvation of the human family had again been delivered to men.”

Then his final moment came when he was summoned to Carthage, “to deliver himself up to the pretended requirements of the law,” whereupon he declared with solemnity, prophetic words of his own fate, and face to face with his death, “I am going like a lamb to the slaughter, but I am calm as a summer’s morning. I have a conscience void of offense towards God, and towards all men. I shall die innocent, and it shall yet be said of me--- he was murdered in cold blood.” (D & C 135: 4.)

Many of his persecutors might have believed that the church he helped establish and restore in these last days of the fullness of times would shrivel and die with his demise. But little did they know that in time prior to his final call, he left a prophetic utterance as as part of his Wentworth letter which says, “The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing;  persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall all be accomplished  and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done” (Teachings: Joseph Smith Chapter 38: The Wentworth Letter, lds.org.)

Indeed, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints which was restored under the instrumentality of the Prophet Joseph Smith did go forth “boldly, nobly and independent” becoming “one of the fastest growing churches in the world.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf.)

My personal testimony and solemn witness of the prophetic calling of the prophet Joseph Smith is beyond the knowledge gained from the printed pages of church history; it is pure knowledge from God through the Holy Ghost. It is the power that binds me to all other fundamental beliefs revealed through his instrumentality. These include my testimony of the Book of Mormon, my testimony of the personal reality of God the Father and Jesus Christ, my testimony of the restoration of the Holy Priesthood, my testimony of the restoration of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, my testimony of the Atonement, my testimony of the Holy Ghost, and my testimony of the living Prophets and Apostles and that God speaks to man even at this time and season. To disengage my testimony of the Prophet Joseph Smith from these links is like excavating and hauling off the foundation leaving the entire testimony structure to crumble and collapse.

George Albert Smith declared, “I say to all men everywhere, examine the teachings of the Gospel of our Lord as revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith, search them prayerfully, and you shall find the panacea for the ills of this world, and it will be discovered in no other way. “ 

And while serving as President of the church, he bore his testimony saying, “Many of the benefits and blessings that have come to me have come through that man who gave his life for the gospel of Jesus Christ. There have been some who have belittled him, but I would like to say that those who have done so will be forgotten and their remains will go back to mother earth, if they have not already gone, and the odor of their infamy will never die, while the glory and honor and majesty and courage and fidelity manifested by the Prophet Joseph Smith will attach to his name forever” (Teaching of the Presidents sof the Church George Albert Smith Chapter 4).

I have studied much about the life of the Prophet Joseph Smith both from the unsympathetic and critical side and from the most earnest of his adherents, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint for 40 years. I knew by inspiration from the Holy Ghost that he indeed lived like a prophet and died like a prophet.  No matter how brilliant the critics, no matter how much effort is exerted to fiddle and defraud, no matter how many intelligent minds shall combine to outwit and thwart, the validity of these truths will never be twisted nor broken, it will remain constant forever and ever. This is my personal testimony and witness of him and the truths restored through his instrumentality. I invite all to know these truths for themselves from the same source of all knowledge and pure intelligence, even God.

BOHOL, PHILIPPINES 7.2 QUAKE---THE UNSEEN AND QUIET MIRACLE

by: Norberto Betita

Bohol, Philippines Earthquake

Miracles are common place nowadays that oftentimes most of us no longer recognize it in our everyday life. It seemed to be so usual a sight to the physical eye that we generally fail to acknowledge the phenomenon with gratitude to God. On many occasions I talked with my daughter presently residing at UAE face to face and eye to eye in front of our family computer through a small digital instrument they call webcam. There was no wire connecting us from both countries divided far apart by lands and by seas. But the wonder of it all is that my old wrinkled face goes to her computer and her youthful countenance just puffs up in front of me. My daughter in Cebu City immediately called to inform us that they are safe when the quake hits the Provinces of Bohol and Cebu. There was no wire connecting her and my wife as they chat using a cellphone but they were able to hear from and talk with each other. I had witnessed and viewed the series of news reports on television right at our living room from Bohol, Cebu and Manila. Again, there are no wires connecting my television to the stations and reporters. Are not these events miraculous?  Webster dictionary define miracles as an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs; an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing or accomplishment; a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law. And so these things are miracles, for the elements that carry the signals are infinitely in place and governed by spiritual laws as part of God’s dealings with humankind in the universe harnessed by man through the use of man-made gadgets. However, because of the continual stream and sequence of events, they become an ordinary occurrence. 

While miracles are becoming common place, there still are unseen and quiet miracles and wonders from God.

Bohol, Philippines Earthquake

As reported the calamity has been devastating and terrifying to witness even just on television. The destructions had been dreadful and truly a heart rending sight. The series of television reports placed the death toll at an estimated number of 200. The description as reported that the energy released by the quake was like 32 Hiroshima atomic bomb strikes dread and terror into the hearts of men.  In Bohol alone there were reported 1.2 million residents which need shelter with a total estimate of 36,000 houses being damaged. Total estimated damage to infrastructures amounted to P2.5 billion. A few miraculous incidents were physically noted, reported and published on television and the internet.

However, as I witness the TV reported accounts on losses of both lives and properties, and draw a distinction between the many other earthquakes that happened in many parts of the world in not so distant time, my heart swelled with gratitude for the manifestation of the providence of God in preserving the many other lives that should have been affected by such a very strong earthquake.

Haiti, Dominican Republic - Palace before and after

For instance, on January 12, 2010 an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.0 hits Haiti, Dominican Republic. Total casualties were estimated at 159,000 to 316,000 deaths. The government of Haiti estimated that 250,000 residences and 30,000 commercial buildings had collapsed or severely damaged.  An estimated of 1.5 million people were left homeless (source, Wikipedia, www.Google.com).

Japan Earthquake and Tsunami

On March 17, 2011 Japan was hit by a 9.0 magnitude earthquake that triggered a deadly 23-foot tsunami. According to the official toll, the disaster left 15,839 dead, 5,950 injured, and 3,642 missing. On December 26, 2004, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake ruptured in the Indian Ocean, off the northwest coast of the Indonesian island of Sumatra. More than 225,000 people died from the disaster, a half a million were injured, and millions were left homeless (source, Beth Rowen and Catherine McNiff, inforplease, www.google.com).

Voice of America, Ridgwell TV Report declared that Japan’s government estimated the cost of damage at 25 trillion yen – or U.S. $309 billion (Henry Ridgwell, VOA, www.google.com).

The energy released by the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami is equivalent to over 1500 times that of the Hiroshima atomic bomb. As a result of the magnitude of the damage, nations all over the world provided over US$14 billion in aid for damaged regions. (Wikipedia, www.google.com).

Japan Earthquake and Tsunami

As I study and ponder on the intensity level of comparison between the Bohol, Philippines quake and that of Haiti quake, Japan’s earthquake and tsunami, and the Indian Ocean/Sumatra, Indonesia quake and tsunami, I could not help but feel the love and mercy and the miraculous power which God poured out upon the Filipino people.  The unseen and quiet miracles came about as the calamitous event happened on a holiday---on a time when most people are at home. It occurred at an earlier time when malls and offices are still closed for business; when most churches which were totally damaged were unfilled with devotees. And, most of all, its epicentre falls on a rural area where there is not so much people, and in an unknown, hidden or newly discovered fault line as reported by the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs). Then my thoughts brought me to the promises of God through His prophets, “...he will preserve the righteous by his power, even if it so be that the fullness of his wrath must come, and the righteous be preserved... Wherefore the righteous need not fear; for thus saith the prophet, they shall be saved...” (1 Nephi  22:17.) In consideration of the minimal damages to life and property despite the comparative magnitude level with that of 7.0 Haiti quake, I seemed to see that “behind the dim unknown, standeth God within the shadow, keeping watch above his own.” (“The Present Crisis,” James Russel Lowell, as quoted by Marion G. Romney.)

Japan Earthquake and Tsunami

Among the many signs of the last days I found this warning most fitting and consequential of the recent earthquake that befell the Philippines, particularly the Provinces of Bohol and Cebu:  “A desolating scourge shall go forth among the inhabitants of the earth, and shall continue to be poured out from time to time, if they repent not, until the earth is empty, and the inhabitants thereof are consumed away and utterly destroyed by the brightness of my coming. Behold, I tell you these things, even as I told the people of the destruction of Jerusalem; and my word shall be verified at this time as it hath hitherto been verified.” (D&C 5:19-20.) I sensed that God is giving as the chance as a people to repent and make right our lives. The damage to life, properties and infrastructures are irrelevant when compared to those suffered by our neighboring countries from the earthquakes and tempests which befell them. But it carried a grim reminder for us as a people.

Japan Earthquake and Tsunami

George Albert Smith declared, “We are not out of the woods. This world is in for a house cleaning unless the sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father repent of their sins and turn to him.

“Though the world may be filled with distress, and the heavens gather blackness, and the vivid lightnings flash, and the earth quake from center to circumference, if we know that God lives, and our lives are righteous, we will be happy because we know our Father approves [of] our lives.

“Conform your lives to the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ and when calamities threaten you will feel the support of his all powerful arm.”

Sumatra, Indonesia Earthquake and Tsunami

What a hopeful assurance, indeed, and what a glorious guarantee of protection and safety. Yet such are subject to our individual action of spiritual renewal to repentance.

“Now all the acts of governments, all the armies of the nations, all the learning and the wisdom of man together cannot turn these calamities aside. The only way they can be averted is for men to accept and conform to the way of life revealed by God our Heavenly Father. Calamities will come as a matter of cause and effect.” (Marion G. Romney.)

It is high time perhaps that we turn away from our wicked ways and mend the hearts cankered by selfishness, greed, and corruption. We are in time to move on along the path of our Christian heritage and prove to our God that we are worthy of His extended hands of protection from the calamities long foretold.

 

MY PERSONAL HISTORY: SEARCH FOR AN ETERNAL COMPANION

by: Norberto Betita

She is well-liked and trendy, while my personality seemed to give the impression of a straggler. By her widespread popularity in the campus, and the smartly expression of her outside beauty, she appeared hard to get by. I knew her since high school, yet never did I attempt to even ask her of such days gone by if only to open a friendly dialogue. But circumstances gave place for our roads to cross, and my nasty assumptions of her personality and character all vanished. Then with feelings mutual and hands clasped we eventually entered the covenant of marriage. Later as we became members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints our marital bond was sealed for time and all eternity.

In our search for an eternal companion we sometimes set our focus on the outward countenance, personal accomplishments, financial achievements, and other forms of temporal security.  But such is never a guarantee for a marriage to endure for eternity.

While it is impossible to know all about the character and personality of a person in one quick look or even within an established friendship, it is always important to discover something good about somebody whom you might want to be a part of you, not only for a lifetime but most importantly for an eternal companionship. The good in a person generally overlie the undesirable in him. My rugged blue jeans looked brown from dusts for long days of wearing. I generally sport a rubber slipper on campus. I do not bring books or a notebook which my classmates generally do. I only have in my back pocket a folded scratch bond papers and a ball pen to take notes during classes.  Those were not some kind of my own stylistic way of starting a trend. It was the real me. I am a poor man and I could not afford the contemporary styles of my youthful years. Thanks to my dearest Letty. She looked at me from the inside-out. She saw by her unflawed vision my innate character and person, and the many good traits that deep in my heart are hidden. And, for such all the unpleasant picture of my outward appearance are for her obscured.

Our Love Story -

Most often than not, stories of love start with physical attraction, friendship and courtship which finally lead to a sumptuous preparation for marriage vows and festivities, but our love story is quite the opposite.

I first met my dearest Letty in high school. I was a year ahead of her, but we have not had the kind of acquaintance that often starts with a friendship.  It was never in my wildest dream that we would met again in college. In my second year in college at the Northeastern Mindanao Colleges (NEMCO), where I studied banking and finance, I had occasionally met Letty. Yet not once did we ever have the opportunity to even start an informal chat, until we became classmates in the English 126 subject about the history of Jose Rizal. She always looked very beautiful and sexy with her super mini-skirt on, which was the fashion of those days. She sits in front while I occupy a desk at the back, a practice I usually do in all my classes, trying to hide my unkempt personality.  It was never in my mind that I would one day be a friend to her. She is one of those beautiful coeds in the campus and a popular friend among the most prominent students. She is a favourite to ROTC Cadets being a cadet sponsor. In distressing contrast, I am an unpopular and unattractive guy, one so lowly a student with only a piece of blue jean to wear in a week, browned by the dusts on school desks; and a pair of rubber slippers. While it is a course requirement, I usually dropped my ROTC, the uniform being unaffordable for a very poor student as I was. Hence, I sported a long hair and a long beard and moustache. Some of my classmates even called me “Custer of the West”, a long haired and bearded character in a movie of the same title.  I was then of no comparison to the good looking guys who wore the pastel coloured “golden award” popular brands of garments of those days.

Perhaps my only real advantage over other students is my sincere devotion to my studies.  I was always best prepared for class discussions and tried my very best to excel in my examinations. This exceptional attitude somehow attracted friends for me in the campus, but of course, not Letty.

During one of our English 126 class, Letty was among those scheduled to report. When it was her time to present, she was stormed with questions from a flashy and proud guy, who wanted to show to all, that he has a superior intelligence.  Since his questions where kind of fill in the blanks and definitions and just for the heck of showing his ostentatious intellectual ability, I requested our instructor to stop the questioning as it is only wasting our time. But the young man insisted and continued to raise his nuisance questions, which Letty readily answered from out of his written report. In exasperation over that egotistical guy, I started to throw questions that insights debate and serious discussions with answers not readily found in the written report.  I followed through until Letty could no longer find words to explain and eventually lead her to tears, perhaps in desperation and shame. She was then saved by the bell signalling that our classes had ended. Immediately I ran to her and beg for a sincere apology. She was still misty-eyed and angry, and never wanted to talk to me. I stayed until she decided to go home. I followed her to the boarding house. She must have felt the sincerity of my apologies that she finally forgave me. For sometimes we never talked, although we met every other day in our English 126 class. Time healed and we eventually find time to chat with each other occasionally and became friends.

In time the same anger which brought Letty to tears, bridged the gap on the road to a more serious binding relationship between the victim and the perpetrator. Her friends were all the while negative of the relationship. Even college instructors and advisers of ROTC cadet sponsors were strongly against. They display their unsolicited objections by some kind of rhythm that at times was already hurtful. I am a young man then who fashioned a long hair and beard when the prevailing style was clean-cut military look. However, as she got serious about it, they all eventually understood her predicament. Her only reason to convince them was that I am totally different inside than my outside countenance and appearance.

Yet, even more serious was the opposition of her family, especially her mother. Our relationship was challenged and tried for so long, but we became even more loyal towards each other. Until on the New Year’s Day of 1974, we went on a dinner date, but ended up strolling around for all restaurants were closed for the holiday. We went home at about 6:00 PM at their rented apartment and were met with an outrage from her mother. I was never allowed to enter, and with her mother’s continued outcry, her father was irritated and shouted, “Uman tadtaron ko ton” (should I stab that fellow). For fear, Letty dragged me out. The following day she went to her “Ninang” and requested to stay. She clandestinely took her clothes from their apartment and continued to report for office, while I went home for work and secretly prepared our papers for marriage. When everything was ready, on January 23, 1974, I requested my mother to buy some food stuffs worth P50.00 for a dinner. Upon her arrival from fish vending and with meat and other food stuffs ready for cooking, I told my parents we are getting married, which was to their greatest surprise. I requested them to contact the Municipal Mayor whose residence is just across our home. We also contacted my godfather and my aunt as witnesses for our wedding that same night. After the wedding ceremony, we enjoyed together our P50.00 worth of a wedding reception at home, which perhaps no other prospective couple would ever dare to economically match.

The rest is a story of greater love amidst joy and gladness; trials and tribulations; the challenges of raising, rearing and nurturing five kids and a foster daughter. But the wonder of it all is that like the century redwood and old oak trees, the P50.00 worth of a wedding had miraculously stood the tests of time and endured 39 years of marital bond, still holding on, seasoned by years of struggles and hardships, strengthened by a healthy loving relationships of a man and a woman whose love for each other and of their children had never faltered amidst continuing storms. Their love which knows no bound was sealed with a covenant for time and all eternity by the Holy Priesthood in the House of the Lord.

Finding the perfect match is such an impossible quest. I learned much from a quote in a torn Pilipino comic magazine of long ago, “Compatibility is the state of being incompatible.” When true love is nurtured right from the beginning of a relationship it grows and produce deep sturdy roots which hold the budding relationship to maturity and into eternity.    

I AM A MEMBER MISSIONARY OF THE LDS CHURCH

by: Norberto Betita

Every member a missionary, this is how we are taught in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and that is how I regard myself. I and my wife should have the time and opportunity to serve a full-time mission as mature couple, but our resources do not warrant. I am grateful though that I still have the privilege to be a “member missionary” through the internet and the social media. I thought that this is even better because it covers the vast areas where internet and social media are available, and I would be able to extend my preaching of the gospel to a vast throng of people who may be interested to listen to the truth and be taught the message of salvation. I felt at this time that I should be bold enough to share the gospel message in response to the Lord’s instruction: ‘Go ye into the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15.) “Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor. That  “...their sins” be “upon their own heads.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:81-82.) I have come to the realization that to neglect such an admonition is to put my own salvation in peril. To paraphrase the words of Pres. Spencer W. Kimball, “I am convinced that I will be accountable to God for the people whom I might have saved have I done my duty.”

I know I will face some challenges as the full-time missionaries experience in the field, but I am calm for like Paul of old, “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth.” (Romans 1:16.)  Each of God’s children will be given the opportunity to hear the message of salvation; each should have to know of Christ and His Atonement; each should understand that the”work and ...glory” of God is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’ (Moses 1:39.)  Every son or daughter of God should know that He wanted to “have all men to be saved” (1 Timothy 2:4); for “the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” (Doctrine & Covenants 18:10.)  

  

As I attempt to take responsibility to share the gospel, I treasure and hold dear God’s sobering promise, “ye shall go forth in the power of my Spirit...lifting up your voices as with the sound of a trump, declaring my word like unto angels of God.” (Doctrine & Covenants 42:6.) How I hope that by such compelling assurance I may have the faith, courage and perseverance of the Apostle Paul who when summoned into the royal hall of King Agrippa, in bonds, declared with power about his “heavenly vision”. He boldly told the King that by his preaching the Jews “went about to kill” him. He declared with clarity “that Christ should suffer, and that he should be the first that should rise from the dead.” To which Festus, one of the king’s noble men, who knew Paul as a man of great knowledge, “said with a loud voice...much learning doth made thee mad.” Yet still Paul bravely answered that he is “not mad, but speak forth the words of truth and soberness, for the King knoweth of these things, before whom also I speak freely.”  Then standing with angelic zeal, fearless and ever taller in bonds, Paul questioned the King, “King Agrippa believest thou the prophets?” Perhaps the King should have been choked by such boldness of a man and prisoner in chain as to ask him a question that he failed to utter a moments reply, hence, Paul answered his question in behalf of the King, “I know that thou believest.”  To which the King “said unto Paul, almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian.” Then in words attuned to the Spirit and perhaps in a tone full of humility and gentleness Paul replied, “I would to God, that not only thou, but also all that hear me this day...except these bonds.” (Acts 26: 19-29.) Such is and should be the boldness of the ambassadors of the Living Christ.

I may not have the kind of faith, courage, perseverance, and powerful testimony as Paul had. I may not have the opportunity to speak before a King or of people in prominence. But the words I should share, the testimony I have to bear are so much the same as those words which the Apostle Paul, and the rest of the prophets and apostles both of old and in these last days of the restoration of the Gospel, and all the missionaries  now serving in this modern world. I should echo the words in Matthew 24:14: “And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; then shall the end come.” And so like the Apostle Paul I would like to declare with boldness through the written media the message of the gospel with hopes that each letter and word shall spread in the power of God’s Spirit and touch and trigger each heart within reach to come unto Christ and partake of the joy and happiness that the gospel brings.

I profess not to be perfect for I do have many of the weaknesses of the flesh. I have my own failures and sorrows, depressions and despairs, faults and mistakes, sicknesses and afflictions, and the rest of adversities common to man. But I am so much grateful for the best understanding of the infinite purpose of trials and tribulations through the teachings of the gospel. Therefore, notwithstanding the calamities of my life, I find real joy and gladness in receiving the ordinances of the gospel of salvation and the hopeful promise of a glorious resurrection. As the Apostle Peter declared, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. But rejoice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (1 peter 4:12-13.) Therefore, I take responsibility to share the message of salvation to my brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, and all other sons and daughters of God, for “the redemption of their soul is precious.” (Psalms 49:8.) And that by so “labouring with” my “might their blood might not come upon” my “garments; otherwise their blood would come upon” my” garments, and” I “would not be found spotless at the last day.” (Jacob 1:19.)

The Lord promised the prophet Joseph Smith. “Behold, I will hasten my work in its time.” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:73.) The Lord’s promised time has come and the work of salvation is now hastening on. The time prophesied and declared by the prophet Abinadi in the Book of Mormon has now come to pass, “when all shall see the salvation of the Lord; when every nation, kindred, tongue, and people shall see eye to eye.” (Mosiah 16:1.) The miracle of the computer age provides the fulfilment of this prophecy. The internet, the social media and other sites are now accessible to almost everyone to read and hear the message of the salvation of God. The wonders of the Skype provide the opportunity for the servants of God, even the missionaries to talk with earnest investigators of the gospel face to face and eye to eye.

The call to “go forth among all nations” (Doctrine and Covenants 38:33,) can now be accomplished even right in front of your computer, where signals are transmitted throughout the world utilizing the atmospheric elements eternally provided by the all-knowing God for the use of man and for His divine purposes.  What remains then is the question of Paul, “How shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?” (Romans 10:14.)

For this purpose, I voluntarily answer the call to preach and therefore extend my sincere invitation to everyone near and far and to whom my words are shown and magnified in the computer to listen to our missionaries. If you are interested, send us your address and we will send them right at your doorstep and in your homes. If you feel you could not be reached physically, comment on this message and we will have the missionaries teach you through the Skype, chat room, internet, blogs. Come and let us reason together and answer life’s most fundamental questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where are we going after this life is over?

No matter how down you are; no matter how difficult your circumstances, the hand of the Lord is right at your elbow as he extends His invitation to you, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 28:28-30.) To those who are in affluence and overflowing with earthly abundance, the Lord even offers a propelling promise and invitation; “distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.” (Luke 18:22.)

MARRIAGE FOR TIME AND ETERNITY

by: Norberto Betita

Sealing Room Vancouver British Columbia Temple

During one of our institute class our teacher tried to explain that there are many people who asked about how long is eternity? He explained that eternity is indeed without end, but just to satisfy the longing of the mind for an answer to a long insistent question he further explained that eternity is like a boulder of the hardest stone having a size of one cubic mile. Once every year a very small bird comes to the stone to sharpen her tiny beak. When the large stone is consumed by the continued sharpening of the little bird, then that will be the end of eternity.

I once knelt on the holy altar inside the sealing room in the House of the Lord, where my wife and I were again pronounced as husband and wife, no longer till death do us part, but for time and all eternity, and our children sealed to us forever. Then we together stood between the mirrors of eternity in that holy room after the sealing ordinance for our family.  Upon those large mirrors I saw the unbroken and unending reflections of our most happy faces. It was in such a most solemn setting that I understood best the meaning of eternity more than any words or phrase could explain. My thoughts go beyond the bounds of mortality towards the glorious promise of eternity for me and my family to be united together to live forever and ever.

As I reflected on these experiences I am reminded of an account in the New Testament while Jesus was travelling “...into the costs of Judea by the farther side of Jordan...”

“And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? Tempting him.

“And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?

“And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.

“And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

“But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

“And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10: 1-9).

It is made clear to me that from the very beginning marriage was ordained of God, and it is meant to endure forever. If all along the voyage of mortality men in carnality changed the practice in accordance with the precept of the fallen man, still the original and unsullied doctrine of marriage as declared by the Lord has never changed. When a man and woman is united in a marriage relationship and become as ‘one flesh’, it means, there should be no dividing, no isolating, no separating, no disentanglement. To do so is to tear and injure the fleshy tissues tied together by one strong marital bond.  And so it cuts the joy and gladness once enjoyed and rips the hearts of sons and daughters, the wonderful fruits of marriage.

To be ‘one flesh’ means loving and submitting to each spouse and treating each other as their own body.  It is nourishing and cherishing and respecting. It is living in unity, harmony and peace. It is blindness to each other’s faults and deafness to words that annoy.  It is about the husband doing the cooking when the wife is laundering, it is babysitting while the wife is marketing, and it simply means sharing each other’s responsibility in the home and family.

Marriage for time and all eternity is an ordinance performed in the Holy Temple of God for those who had been duly qualified to receive such. It is to bind a man and woman in an everlasting covenant which as according to the Lord, no man should ‘put asunder’. This is the common goal of the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This marital union, however, is never exempted from the wiles of the devil, the winds of adversity, and the enduring trials of mortality which is a requirement for refinement and sanctification. On the other hand it is also given the promise of happiness, tranquility and brightness of hope predicated for obedience, faithfulness, uprightness, and total commitment to the eternal covenant. This marriage is the foundation and corridor to eternal joy and exaltation.

THE SIMPLE PRESCRIPTIONS FOR A HAPPY AND ENDURING MARRIAGE

by: Norberto Betita

I entered the doors of marriage and the gate to family life 39 years ago on the 23^rd of January 1974. The marital journey of 39 years was never an easy voyage. The get-up-and-go to each chapter of the relationship was filled with difficult maneuvers which by the powerful bond of marital union were tactically and successfully endured. Trials and adversities; misunderstanding and misgivings; poverty and deprivations were only a few of the high hurdles that we tried to surmount in our continuing journey towards the blissful shore of marital and family happiness.

The challenges and problems of marital relationship are a common lot to all who enter the solemn covenants of marriage, whether they start the union in affluence and abundance, or in scarcity and deprivation. It is not about lavish preparations and sumptuous wedding receptions that would provide lasting marriages. It is only true love for each other and total commitment to spousal responsibilities that would build an enduring marital life. Through the years I have come to understand that there is no royal road to a happy marriage. I came to realize during the years long-gone that the storms that blew in the direction of our marital relationship and the heavy burdens we patiently bore created strength to every fiber of the sacred bond.

Through all the continuing ills that we encountered in our marriage we eventually fashioned some simple prescriptions which provided and still is continually providing emotional and spiritual therapeutics and remedies.

Trust –

It has been said that, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved” (David O. McKay). Indeed, the trust that we have for each other as spouses provides us with greater confidence on each of our character as persons. My first assignment in my employment with the Philippine National Bank was in a capital town requiring almost 10 hours of travel by bus on a very rough highway. It was an assignment of a year and a half, but never during that period did my wife ever visit the place. Many of my colleagues asked why? My simple response was we trust each other.

When my wife placed his complete trust in me, I am even more motivated to honor and be true to our marital vows. My personal character and moral make-up become even more self-evident. Then I find an increased capacity to overcome temptations and go through the challenging encounters of marital life.

Talk right -  

It has been said that offensive words are sharper than the two edged sword. Foul language contaminates worthy feeling and desecrates the heart. Exchanging remarks that hurt frequently plants the seed of shoddy relationship. Healing takes time. Its effect is sometimes referred to a broken egg which cannot be reversed.

When I and my wife are in an unholy discussion and I could not find one good and fitting word to say I would rather go out, take my lunch in a restaurant and go to work or stroll to take a fresh breath of air. I found that back home love sparkles and sincere concern affectionately expressed---“pa, did you take your lunch?” Such a flicker of devotion and tenderness encourage enthusiasm and build energy to carry on notwithstanding the odds.    

Acceptance –

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.

We should understand that marriage is a union of two imperfect individuals. Each has his or her own inadequacy and limited capacity. There never is a perfect relationship. Acceptance of individual faults and imperfections is therefore a must. Through those long years of our marriage I came to better understand the phrase I once found in a torn page of paper, “Compatibility is the estate of being incompatible.” Therefore, individual differences should be accepted conclusively by each spouse. Mistakes should always find unconditional forgiveness.   

I am ever grateful to my dearly beloved wife for being such a wonderful and very considerate woman and partner. Once she was asked by one of our daughters if she ever had any uneasiness or discomfort in our marriage. She told her there are a lot of them but she kept it to herself. That I had been her personal choice of an eternal partner and she has to stand by the love that she has sacredly offered to me. I too am blind of her inadequacies and frailties. I only see the best in her.

Patience –

Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Things can be repaired. Hurt feelings and broken relationship often can’t. Too often we fail to recognize the paramount importance of a covenant relationship. We sometimes forget that forgiveness is a much better antidote than revenge. People make mistakes, but the actions we take while in rage will haunt us forever.

My wife and I had our own petty encounters and differences, but our patience for each other’s faults always rejects the apparatus of anger and ill feelings. Peace, unity, harmony and love then reign in our most humble place of refuge---home.

Provident living –

“Happiness does not consist of a glut of luxury, the world’s idea of a goodtime…. Happiness is found at home” (Thomas S. Monson). Indeed, God in His infinite wisdom did not provide man with an easy mine of gold and silver, but simply introduced a system of work for our provisions. He commanded, “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread…” (Genesis 3:19). We should be contented then with what life could give and what our labors could provide.

I married at an early age, jobless with only a two-year equivalent of college education not fit for competitive employment of those days. But with hands clasped together in support for each other, we worked, we struggled, we do all we could, we succeeded. I eventually earned a college degree and then a master’s degree and a good employment enough for a growing family. We lived a provident life, sent our five children through college and all earned degrees.  We are continually inspired by the saying, “Good life starts only when you stop wanting a better one.”

Common vision –

Ideally marital partners are expected to work towards a common purpose and a unified goal. Frequently each spouse is required to keep back personal dreams in favor of common marital visions. This idea may sound critical of one or the other, but all along we will find that a common marital dream automatically becomes a priority. Our long years of marital experience had taught me and my wife self-denial and frugality to give way to our common ideals and visions. Hence we become even more united in our purposes and stronger in facing our adversities.

Temple Bailey was quoted by Thomas S. Monson: “It is impossible for a married couple to reach happiness with eyes fixed on different stars.”

There are many and varied applicable recipes for happy and enduring marriage. However, it is only by sincere application and induction into the union that they become effective menu.

As husband and wife united by a solemn and sacred covenant, we are under obligation to strengthen the bond that fastens our hearts together.  As spouses, we need to understand that our relationship is profound, encircling, and far-reaching. It requires trust, reliance, unselfishness and sacrifices for one another. It is an absolute alliance with common ideals and patterns. It involves purity of thought and fidelity in action. It entails faith in God and His eternal plan of happiness. It is infinite, grand, and glorious. This relationship should never weary nor fade. It should remain alive through thick and thin, through joys and sorrow, through successes and failures, and through time and all eternity.