FORTRESS OF SPIRITUALITY AND MATERNAL DEVOTION

By: Norberto Betita

The forces of evil and darkness with their cunning craftiness and malicious design to thwart the grand purposes of God for His children, continue to wage war within each individual soul. Satan knows from the very beginning that even if he is to unleash his horrific fiery darts against the forces of righteousness and truth, he is not going to win in this great battle between good and evil. But he wanted at least to bring as many souls as he could win with him as he will soon “be tormented day and night forever and ever.” (see Revelation 20:10.) He knows his horrendous destiny is not far distant and his time is becoming shorter.

His egregious but subtle tactic of deception may have lured many into carnal security and decoyed some more into an entrapment that destroys the home and family. However, such can only be a temporary victory, for as the hand of the Almighty stretches out to His sons and daughters who may have been subjected to the alluring bait of the evil one, they are guided back into the sure path of spiritual safety and protection as they willingly repent of their evil deeds. Nevertheless, Satan, under no circumstances intends to surrender his fight while his time allocation on earth is still open. 

As the fight rages on, I am brought to remembrance of that fateful and tragic event sometime in June 2013 involving the family of my eldest child and daughter---Hazel. Such a sad memory should have been plunked and dumped into the trash bin of oblivion and forgetfulness. However, as I tried to turn my heart to one of the princesses in my family kingdom, at this time of my final rehearsal and run through before I yield to the imminent call for me to finally enter the portals of the world of waiting spirits, I am brought back to the heartbreaking and mindboggling encounters that my daughter and her children had gone through. 

I look back to this past unfortunate ill-fated historical episode in the family life of Hazel and his children, not to blame or recount the faults or identify which party was in transgression. I bring back the memory of this disconsolate chapter of her life because I see a very significant lesson to learn from such miserable experiences, not only for my family but to all who might have the opportunity to read my account.

The sad segment of this awkward tale conveys and enlightens us of the effects of pride, unkindness, dishonesty, discontent, disappointment; even of ease and comfort. It tells of children’s frustrations and displeasures; of unhappiness and dissatisfaction; of discord and disharmony; of dissention and protest; of sadness and gloom. It engenders childhood anger and rebellion that take time to mend and subdue and mellow. It inflicts upon their tender minds and delicate hearts the saddest reality of being turned between two central figures of their lives for which choice is never to be an option. It was such a tearful and hateful experience that diminishes love while propagating disgust in the depths of the heart and soul. In the core of its inception, “It inevitably represents a painful loss of association and, particularly in the young a crushing blow to the dreams unrealized, ambitions unfulfilled, and hopes vanquished.” (President Thomas S. Monson, He Is Risen, General Conference, April 2010.) Hence, pain and sorrow are even intensified as each heart were bruised by the impact of estrangement and separation.

To the mother it was a time of reckoning how much tears were drawn out from her weary eyes; how many useful pounds and nutrition from her physical body were deprived for lactation to feed her estranged newborn; how anger was kindled deep into her aching heart; how compassion and empathy for herself and her children swelled in depths of grief and sorrow; how the venom of animosity and hatred leaped like a horrible sore. The inner bruising that continued to inflict sadness and hopelessness, and solitude and isolation, correspondingly resembled, “The spent candle in the window ledge [that] told of the fruitless vigil.” (Thomas S. Monson, He is Risen, General conference, April 2010.)

Legal remedies were considered and sought. However, I counseled for no better solution than to let the wounds heal itself and allow legal resolutions to find its own way. Rather than impose undue vexation and displeasure upon the children by sanctioning them to appear in court; give them instead the privilege to find their own antidote towards healing; and allow the scar to remain as the dividing line and a bridge for the children to cross the divide, while maintaining parent-child relationship that holds no barrier, despite the chasm. As a family, we committed to provide healing water to their parched family landscape.

As Hazel changed gear from worldly solution to divine healing and shift to focus on her sacred role of motherhood, the earlier dawn of hopelessness, eventually captured a positive outlook and a wide view of a verdant panorama. She started to take time to create a fortress of spirituality and maternal devotion and love as her rallying point to protect her children from recurrent evil assaults and unrelenting adversities. Her combined roles as mother and part provider was to her a heavy burden, but she suffered it all. The parental discipline which she did alone with patience and perseverance since those long and lonely nights of estrangement, did guide the children in righteousness and virtue, and earlier scholastic achievements in preparation for their greater academic battles ahead of them; a virtual manifestation of God’s redeeming love and mercy. 

 

Indeed, the pains of a broken heart did eventually heal by the passing of God’s own time. Sadness, sorrow and grief now turned to joy and gladness. Bitterness and animosity found a graceful exit from the portals of the hearts and soon petered out. Solitude and loneliness discovered pleasant and enjoyable therapeutics through maternal devotion to her children and service in the church, and temple attendance. Counteractive parent-child open channel of communication ebbed childhood anger and rebellion and gradually erased all feelings of deep resentments. The dehydrated family garden is now watered with regular paternal support. While the scar remains to be a dividing border, a gate was open for the children to find parental love, guidance and support from each side of the boundary.

It’s been almost six years since and I learned some profound lessons that even in the darkest abyss, there is provided a light of hope; in the depths of despair and dejection, there is a quelling antidote of peace, joy, and contentment; in the gravity of pain, there is a healing balm; in the deepness of emotional wounds, there is a restorative remedy for the scars; in the long family battle against Satan’s cohorts, there is the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ and His ever extended hands of grace, mercy and love.

Satan may have succeeded to dismantle loyalties in a marital covenant, but he will never, in any way, even in his strongest offensive, be ever successful in defeating the purposes upon which the family was organized and established in mortality, for as long as the remaining family members remain true and faithful to their covenants. They will not be deprived of the birthrights and blessings which the faithful sons and daughters of Heavenly Father are divinely privileged through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

 

However, Hazel should not be complacent about the present favorable state of the family, but instead consider the words of the apostle Peter who cautioned, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8.) The devil’s virulent attacks are refined and clever. His arrows of temptations are released when we are off guard. Consequently, Nephi warned: “And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell. (2 Nephi 28:21.) Of such, Pres. Thomas S. Monson said, “We live far below our divine possibilities. Some become confused by materialism, entangled by sin, and lost among the passing parade of humanity.” 

Therefore, while the devil is sneaking to catch his targeted prey, Hazel, as now a single mother, should beforehand establish fortress of spirituality, coupled with maternal devotion as protection against the abominable infiltration by Satan’s influence in the home. Together, she and her children should always be on the alert in detecting and recognizing the devil’s irresistible trap.

The divine healing that results from Hazel’s submission to the power in yonder heavens, through her love and faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, was to me an undimming wonder. The children are now growing fast and are in best relations with both their parents, notwithstanding the ill effects of estrangement. Such should have been a different story if mortal resolves were taken as prescriptions to mend the emotional scars. 

At 44, Hazel, the eldest of my princesses, is now physically a single mother, although still legally married. She’s now moved beyond the shadows of the past, looking forward with striking optimism to the promises of a delightful future for her and her children. While in the beginning weight loss symbolizes sorrow, disappointment and despair; it is now replaced with chubbiness, a representation of a reviving appetite stirred by freedom from the bondage of an abysmal bygone days, which excess weight for her has now become a serious concern even a challenge much harder to overcome.

In this her 44th birthday, I leave for my dearly beloved daughter---Hazel---the same advise as the prophet of God, even President Thomas S. Monson, has counseled: “The past is behind---learn from it. The future is ahead---prepare for it. The present is here---live in it.” (President Thomas S. Monson, Go For It, General Conference, April 1989.) That she may do so is my ardent paternal wish and prayer.