MY PERSONAL SEARCH FOR TRUTH

By: Norberto Betita

Since childhood I have an unrelenting desire to learn of the truth which I seemed not to find in the religion of my birth. I have found early in my childhood some inconsistencies about my former religion. My father would tell me that it would be a grievous sin to read the Bible, but I found my grandfather, who was of the same faith reading the Bible each day. I usually spent my weekends with my maternal grandparents to help them fetch water and gather firewood. For so long I have noted that very thick Bible on the center table of their sala set near the window where the morning light of the rising sun provides greater brightness and illumination through the open window. There my grandfather would read. But I never have tried to open such a Bible as it was prohibited in my religion.

My earlier righteous predilection and preference were learned most from my grandparents, particularly my grandfather. He would teach me stories about his life---his failures and successes. Most often he would tell me that he should have been financially stable, but most of his earnings were from deceitful gambling. He is an expert gambler during his younger days. He told me that he has handled so much money from gambling, but it usually was lost the same way. He even showed me his techniques and expertise in deceitful gambling, but he incessantly advised me never to indulge in such a dirty vice including drunkenness and other wickedness evident during those times.  My parents do not have so much time teaching us during our early childhood as they were too busy raising and rearing thirteen children in poverty. But they always encourage us to obtain education and showed us their example of hard work. Our family life is kind of a hand to mouth existence, and all of us children and adult have to work together to live. I also learned a little of good manners and right conduct as a subject in school and I tried to earnestly live by the correct moral principles.  

When I was about twelve years old and in Grade six, we were taught some doctrines of the church and were made to memorize prayers as a requirement for our first communion. I have memorized the rest of the prayers except the Nicene Creed. Before our communion we were required to confess. As I have my confession of the petty childhood mistakes, I was made to say the memorized prayers repeatedly for a number of times as a requirement purportedly for me to be forgiven. But I failed on the one---The Creed. We are told earlier that we could not participate in the communion if we are not able to complete the requirements. In my young mind I thought that perhaps I was not forgiven by God of my sins because I failed to memorize one required prayer. However, for fear of being messed about by my classmates, especially that I was a candidate for honors I participated, after all nobody knew that I failed in one required prayer.  For sometime though I was haunted with my dishonesty that for so long I no longer attended mass except during our elementary graduation.

During high school, I seemed to forget all about church except during fiesta celebrations. My parents are very devoted Catholics and we celebrated the fiesta even to the extent of going into debt. But as a young man I enjoyed such a tradition for it is mostly the time when families are gathered together, and there is so much enjoyment---food, games, dances and other youthful activities. But what I disliked most is the fact that there were so much wine at home that made my brothers and father and friends become drunken, quarrelsome and irritable.

Later in high school, I found a dusted Bible on the shelf at my brother’s cottage where I also live. It was given to him by an officemate who is a member of a different Church. I have it cleaned and took courage to read despite prior restrictions from our church and my father.  I found that it contained only the Book of Proverbs and the New Testament. I was young then and without any Bible knowledge, so I thought that it was a complete Bible. I enjoyed reading the Proverbs and in my young mind I wondered why such a good book was prohibited. Even in my youthful understanding I found many good lessons of life. I was especially grateful that some of the things taught by my grandparents were true. I also found several scriptural verses which confirmed that wine is a thing to abhor.  

I took such a Bible as a personal possession, although I only read it occasionally. When I was in college, my readings become a little more frequent especially from the New Testament. I do not have enough resources to hangout with friends after school, as many of our schoolmates do. So I immerse myself in reading both from my books and the Bible. But sad to say, I felt being distanced from my church as many inconsistencies were confirmed. My young mind began to wander and search for meaning of the things I learned. Many things were new to me then.  I thought that maybe there is a Church that could help me understand. Yet never did I attempt to investigate for fear that I may be disowned by my parents and siblings. When I stopped college due to poverty and found a job as a security guard I always carried with me the Bible and read such when on duty during the night, especially in secluded areas of the mining company. At times in my readings, I am brought to tears. One day I found an advertisement inviting anyone to a Bible correspondence school. I thought that perhaps such will give me more light of the truths I am seeking. I wrote to the given address but received no reply. It was in my readings that I learned that the Bible I am reading is not a complete Bible.  But I continued to read and learn good principles from it.

For some time I stopped reading the Bible after I finished reading the New Testament. I knew I needed Religion in my life, yet I found that the church I was in could not explain the things I learned from the Bible.  Although I lost interest in our church, I find occasional visits on some early dawn to pray the Lord’s Prayer. But I never attended any mass.

Before marriage I already learned the Lord’s pattern of family relationships found in the New Testament as taught by Apostles and prophets, particularly from Matthew 19: 2-8 and from Paul’s epistle to the Ephesians 5:22-27; 6: 1-4. Although my interpretation of such is limited only according to my mortal understanding, I tried to live by these patterns notwithstanding marital challenges. That is why when Mormon missionaries came and declared that they have a message for family happiness, I was immediately fascinated and thought that at last I have found somebody else to add to my understanding of God and His Gospel. Although my wife was hesitant because of her English language limitations, I accepted the invitation to investigate the church and eventually accepted and was baptized together with my dearest wife on February 12, 1977 by Robert Sherwin Allred, a missionary from Utah at Sabang Beach in the Philippines. (See My Conversion Story---A Choice of Eternal Worth and Why I Choose the Mormon Way of Life).

Since then life has changed for me and my family and we found greater joy, love, harmony and peace at home notwithstanding the many adversities and challenges, poverty and deprivations. We understood better the meaning of life, the truth of life hereafter, and the continuity of family life in the Kingdom of God.