OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A CHRISTMAS TREE

By: Norberto Betita

The Christmas tree has been one of the symbols of Christmas. There had been a lot of symbolic meaning and interpretations of its use in the yearly celebrations of Christmas. Early Christians used it to symbolize the tree of life in the Garden of Eden, which therefore means that through the birth of Jesus Christ all mankind will have a hope for eternal life. The use of fir tree---an evergreen conifer which does not die or loss its needles during the winter---is being interpreted as a representation of the immortality of man resulting from the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. Its presence in the home during the Christmas season has since become a very potent tradition that without it there seemed to be no Christmas at all in the family.

Other adornments that are incorporated in the Christmas tree have also its symbolism. The lights, the star, the wrapped gifts, the balls, the coloured green and the red decorations and several other ornaments have their own representations of things associated with the birth of the Savior.

However, according to William V. Rauscher, “Actually, the tree is a reinterpretation of pagan rites, along with the use of other greens and decorations to commemorate in ancient times a celebration of the feast of Saturnalia – the birth of the Sun in the sky at the Winter Solstice. Along with the giving of gifts, the feast was later Christianized with the selection of December 25th to announce the birth of the Son of God to the world” (The Meaning Of A Christmas Tree, http://www.mysticlightpress.com/index.php?page_id=123).

Whatever the symbolism, meaning and historical background of the use of Christmas tree and its adornments do not have any relation to our family’s celebrating the joyous season without it. As a matter of fact, during the last 38 years of our family life the Christmas tree has always been a part of our Christmas celebration. But circumstances seemed to degenerate into the lonely highway of distress and priorities have to be adjusted. The absence of a Christmas tree and its accompanying decorations at this joyful season does not in any way affect the spiritual substance and meaningful orientation of our family’s Christmas celebration. More than the meaningful Christmas tree, there is in the center of our hearts the true and real spirit of Christmas, which is Jesus Christ.

Jan U. Pinborough explained, “Christmas is a time of contrast, even contradictions. It is a season of joy to the world, but sadness in it; goodwill toward men, but not enough to fill the most basic needs of people who are homeless or friendless or abused. Against the backdrop of seasonal good cheer, the sorrows, poverty, and violence in our world stand out in especially bold relief.

"At this time of year, all of us have probably been tempted to say to an unhappy child—and perhaps to ourselves—“Oh, don’t be sad. It’s Christmas!” But the child knows, until he or she learns to pretend otherwise, that sadness does not vanish when we decorate the house. Nor is Christmas a time for brushing all the darkness in our lives under the rug, pretending for a season that it doesn’t exist. For Christ and His gospel do not intend to merely hide the darkness but to banish it forever. Thus, Christmas is not an anesthetic for our sorrows and ills but a celebration of the only antidote, the very cure." (Jan U. Pinborough, http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/1992/12/symbols-of-reconciliation).

The excessive commercialization and marketing; the very expensive prettification of our Christmas trees outside parks and in our homes; the gorgeous and exquisite decorations in large and spacious buildings; the grand and majestic festivities and fireworks presentations and displays, do not in any way enhance nor diminish the heart and spirit of the Christmas celebrations neither do they affect the eternal verity of the Atonement which is the true essence of Christmas. The Atonement is the best gift ever that we are to receive this Christmas season from the celebrant Himself, even Jesus Christ. Whether in abundance or in poverty such gift of the Atonement and the giver of the infinite gift should be as ever at the center of our Christmas celebrations and be the profound and overpowering subject and focus of our heartfelt, deep and abiding gratitude.

As I consider what gifts I should give the Prince of Peace, the great Emmanuel, the King of Kings, my Lord and Savior, I replicate what Jan U. Pinborough had offered: “I can give Him my trust in Him, my faith in His wisdom. I can give Him my heaviest burdens—my greatest weaknesses, my most stubborn fears, my profoundest griefs—for He will accept even these and transform them for my good. And I can give Him my everlasting gratitude in the form of a merciful, forgiving heart and hands willing to serve others.”

I am sure it does not matter to Him whether our home is bereft of any symbol of His birth. I believe that what he wants from us as a gift for Christmas is a securely wrapped “sacrifice” of “a broken heart and contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 9:20), tied with faith in His redeeming love and a willingness to do anything and everything that He commands.

Yes, this is the first time thus far that we do not decorate our home with a Christmas tree and other symbolic decorations. But I am full of joy and heartfelt gratitude that at home this Christmas we have once again formed our family tree---with four branches except one who is too far from home, and all seven and one grafted twigs reunited with a binding love to celebrate the joyful season. Trials,challenges, adversities, weaknesses, fears, inconveniences, afflictions, depressions and despairs decorate the tree. However, the promise of redemption from death, from all ills of life, and from all cares and sorrows brought about by the Saviour’s birth on that first Christmas morn provides eventual relief and an everlasting light of hope that illuminates the way to eternal joy.

No matter our circumstances, I believe we have every reason to rejoice on this season of cheer, for the real and enduring symbol of Christmas is best reflected and demonstrated daily in our way of life fittingly in accord with our divine exemplar---Jesus the Christ.

REMEMBERING THE NEW YEAR WHEN I SLEPT BESIDE MY STILLBORN ELDEST GRANDCHILD

by: Norberto Betita

The approaching New Year 2000 celebration was somehow characterized by the Year 2000 problem (also known as the Y2K , or the Millennium bug) which came about as a result of abbreviating a four-digit year to two digits in both digital and non-digital documentation and data storage. However, all efforts by experts work out well and nothing of negative consequence as previously expected happened. 

While the world rejoiced on the successful turnout of events of the second millennium since the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ, my family suffered a reversal. 

I was saddened to hear from my eldest daughter that the seven-month fetus inside her womb seemed no longer to move and that she had to immediately go to her doctor. She came back with the depressing information that she had to be admitted to the hospital for an emergency delivery of a dead fetus. The premature baby girl was delivered on December 31, 1999 and found to have been choked and strangled by an umbilical cord coil right on the neck. Her stillbirth was such a great and terrible loss considering that she was the first born as a child and as a grandchild. It was even most painful because while still a premature baby she looks strong, full-grown and very beautiful. Looking at her inside the box as we transported the dead body home, I felt the weight of such a great loss of what should have been a joyful and most important addition to the family. I am grateful though that as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have understood better that God has His own purpose and reason for such a trial. 

While the neighbourhood and the rest of the world were in a hustle and bustle for the New Year celebration, I and my son kept ourselves busy fabricating a home-made tiny coffin for the child. As she was laid on the little coffin, I repeatedly looked at her over and again appreciating her beauty although mourning for her loss. While the rest of the family were in the hospital and with my stillborn grandchild laid at home, we found no time to celebrate the New Year. As the last seconds signals the approaching dawn of the New Year 2000 and the eventual fireworks displays in the neighbourhood and the entire City were heard and witnessed, our humble home became even more gloomy and disconsolate. When the festivities were ended and my tired eyes could no longer hold drowsiness, I set a mat and slept beside my stillborn eldest grandchild.

The morning breaks and I awoke while the rays of the hill hidden rising sun was up and the stillness of day seemed to signal peace and tranquillity, immediately past the booming and deafening sounds of fireworks for the New Year celebration. The sparkling light of daybreak and the whistles of the humming birds appeared to breach and defy the natural law of the rainy season. Standing right at our front yard free from the humdrum of cars and motorcycles; gazing at the sunshine-cleared horizon; and overlooking the green landscape from our hill situated home, I felt a reassuring peace and a hopeful confidence that life will be better.

While looking at my dear little granddaughter lay dead before my very eyes, awaiting her time to be finally rested to her tiny grave I wondered what would have been her fate. Then I read these words from the handbook: “Temple ordinances are not performed for stillborn children. However, this does not deny the possibility that a stillborn child may be part of the family in the eternities. Parents are encouraged to trust the Lord to resolve such cases in the way He knows is best. The family may record the name of the stillborn child on the family group record followed by the word stillborn in parentheses. It is a fact that a child has life before birth. However, there is no direct revelation on when the spirit enters the body” (Handbook 1, 17.2.10, Stillborn Children (Children Who Die before Birth), 163). Although she did not receive a blessing ordinance, her parents named her Banja May---the name they longed to give her even while still in conception. In the sunny afternoon of the New Year’s Day 2000, we laid Banja May to her final rest in my hometown of San Francisco, Surigao del Norte, Philippines. 

The year 2000 turned out well for us after a difficult reversal and setback experienced on the very first day of the New Year. The confidence I felt on that very morning of New Year’s Day came about as my daughter again conceived and eventually gave birth to another beautiful and healthy baby girl on December 2000, the same month when Banja May was stillborn the year before. Since then many New Years had come and seven more grandchildren were born in the family to our four married children. The challenges of each year are vast and varied and each passing day became sorting calisthenics of resolving trials and adversities. 

Very soon we will be welcoming another New Year which would mean an added twelve months of confrontation with life’s contests. We are not sure what lies ahead but we can always be certain to face the inevitable. We can be inspired by the words of Ezra Taft Benzon, “It is not in the pinnacle of success or ease where men and women grow most. It is down the valley of heartaches and disappoints and reverses where men and women grow into strong characters.” 

Like the failing internet signal which deprives us of the opportunity to reach out and talk to our loved ones and friends right on the New Year’s Day, the challenges and trials of life also create barriers which at times divest us from attaining our earnest goals. Each year seemed not to give its best despite all conceivable efforts we employ and we often wonder why? Even our highest triumphs provide fulfilment not enough for our hearts content and so we thought of being a failure. Perhaps we are short of understanding that mortality is an eternal journey for growth and development, and we succeed one step at a time. And each New Year gives us the opportunity to rise and step up.

Terryl and Fiona Givens quoted one theologian, “The lower animals, are light and joyous, content if their actual wants are supplied, secure and untroubled from without. But in the consciousness of man... amid the sounds of heartiest joy there runs an unsilenced undertone of secret sadness... Its existence can be traced back beyond the confines of time.” 

Indeed, for the mortal man fullness of joy is not on earth to be found. The Lord assures us, “... in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.” (D & C 101:36). Even the Son of God, “... received not of the fullness at first, but received grace for grace ... until he received a fullness.” (D & C 93:12-13).

My daughter Shauna Megan who is working at Abu Dhabi, UAE, posted on the New Year’s Day 2013, “2012 wasn't my best year. Not the worst either. I lost some. I gained some - weight, friends, love, whatever... et cetera, et cetera. Plus the world didn't end. Thank God! Good morning 2013!” I love her view of life and her attitude towards the dynamism of living. Of course gratitude to God is always a moving ingredient of life.

The Christmas celebration prior to our welcoming the New Year sends an exalted message of hope notwithstanding all odds. It provides us with secure confidence that the things we suffer will eventually heal; that the dreams we are not able to reach will one day come in close proximity; that the incalculable expanse of opportunities are wide open to the living honest seekers; and that the windows of heaven is always open to the obedient.

ENGINEERING REVIEW AND KEEPING THE SABBATH DAY HOLY

by: Norberto Betita

The Lord Jesus Christ taught, “The Sabbath was made for man.” (Mark 2:27). I always think of the Sabbath Day as the Lord’s Day---a day to find joy in doing the Lord’s work and to glory in His service. It is not only a day of rest but on the whole, I think of it as a day of worship, a day to come into the table of the Lord’s Supper to partake of the Sacrament and renew my covenants. It is a day to do service to God’s children, to visit the fatherless and the widows, and invite men to come unto Christ. Since my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I strived to really keep the Sabbath Day holy. There may be times when I failed, but I always make it a point to sincerely observe the law. As a matter of fact, it was for such reason that I leave a good paying job in the island which required me to work on a Sunday. 

Even in periods of great trials and pressing problems; in times when I felt guilty of sin and transgression; and such other days of life’s turbulence, I always make serious effort to be in the Church to have the opportunity to recommit myself in my covenants with the Lord through the Sacrament. Through the years I found that my continued obedience of the Sabbatical law allowed me to experience and gain greater spiritual strength and power that had since sustained me as a member of the Church. Church attendance and Sabbath observance had become a permanent shelter and refuge from the recurring storms of mortality. On many occasions I felt the Holy Ghost bearing witness to me that the messages given during Sacrament meetings and lessons learned in the different classes are infinite truths that come from God necessary to guide me in my personal journey. Time and again these revelatory experiences are felt even in such simple testimonies of a member’s first time experiences in the Temple; in singing the hymns with conviction; and in listening to earnest testimonies from members for personal experiences of receiving blessings from gospel obedience. I rejoice with tear-filled eyes as I felt of the influence of the Holy Ghost through a burning feeling in my heart. Once, after our Sacrament meeting, I was asked by the presiding authority, “Why did you cry?”

When the Lord commanded that, “the children of Israel shall keep the sabbath, to observe the sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant, as a sign between me and the children of Israel forever” (Exodus 31;16-17, He was not referring to the Israelites alone, but also to the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as well as the whole world. 

John H. Groberg once told of his experience in the island of Tonga: “The small island kingdom of Tonga lies immediately next to the international dateline, so it is the first country in the world to greet the Sabbath day. It is a small country and, in the counting of the world, a poor country. But years ago a wise Tongan king decreed that the Sabbath would be kept holy in Tonga forever.

“Modern civilization has come in many ways to Tonga. If one goes to the capital of Nuku’alofa on a weekday, he finds the usual heavy traffic of trucks and cars and the bustle of thousands of shoppers making their regular purchases from well-stocked stores and markets. One sees people line up to view the latest movies and to rent videos. One can watch modern buses whisk tourists off to catch their jet planes, or observe the speed and clarity of a satellite call to the United States. The streets are crowded and business is good. You might wonder, “What is so different about this town from hundreds of others like it throughout the world?

“But when Sunday dawns on the kingdom of Tonga, a transformation takes place. If one goes downtown, he sees deserted streets—no taxis or buses or crowds of people. All the stores, all the markets, all the movie theaters, all the offices are closed. No planes fly, no ships come in or out, no commerce takes place. No games are played. The people go to church. Tonga is remembering to keep the Sabbath day holy.

“It is significant that the first country in the world to greet the holy Sabbath keeps the Sabbath holy.

“Has the Lord blessed them? Maybe the world cannot see his blessings, but in the ways that really count, he has blessed them abundantly. He has blessed them with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and a larger percentage of the population there belongs to the Church than in any other country.”

“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundation of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated. And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” (D&C 130:20-21). Keeping the Sabbath day holy is a divine law and the obedient shall therefore receive the promised predicated blessing. 

On December 7, 2013 I was touched by a message given by Bro. Quim Torres, our Branch Mission Leader. He is a Civil Engineer by profession, a returned missionary and a former Branch President himself. He shared as his message during the Sacrament Meeting three fundamental principles---magnifying a calling; obeying the law of tithing and keeping the Sabbath Day Holy. He explained in very clear details and solemnly testified of the blessings that come from magnifying our calling and obedience to the law of tithing. On the subject of keeping the Sabbath Day holy, he related a personal experience as a young college graduate.

He said, “I expressed my concern to my Priesthood leader about my planned engineering review classes for the Civil Engineering Board Examinations. I was told by my Priesthood leader never to study on the Sabbath Day but instead to earnestly keep it holy. It seemed difficult at first to take the advice considering that I would be missing 24 days of studies, but I accepted the counsel seriously. For many weeks I tried to sincerely keep the Sabbath Day holy, but I found it difficult to pass my weekly evaluation exams.”

Throughout their classes and until the six months review period was finished, he has been consistently worried about the results of his weekly evaluation exams, but he was grateful that he has been able to come to a more meaningful understanding of the deeper import of keeping the Sabbath Day holy by not studying on Sunday notwithstanding the ridicule he received from fellow review students. Despite his unfavourable performance in the review he still decided to take the Board examinations. He took courage from the promise of his Priesthood leader. He said that, “for about thirty minutes inside the examination room I felt very uncomfortable remembering of my many failing results in the review evaluation examinations. Yet I prayed for guidance, and the Lord gave me the confidence and opened my mind to the memory of my review lessons.”

The result of the Civil Engineering Board examination was released and Brother Quim Torres made it to the list of successful new licensed civil engineers. Then he told the congregation that, “it even surprised me greatly to know that my rating was one per cent higher than that of the consistent top student in our review class.”

Accordingly the promise of the Lord served its purpose, ”If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

“Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.” (Isaiah 58: 13-14).

THE TRUE SPIRIT OF GIVING---TRIBUTE TO A BELOVED LDS MISSIONARY

by: Norberto Betita

On the night of the 23rd of December 2012, after the Sunday services and church meetings of our small branch of the Church in Surigao City, Philippines, a couple of young men and young women went carolling with me to several member families of widows and widowers. These families were truly in great distress and live miserable lives. In our carolling we carried with us packs of groceries as gifts. On the way to one widow we tracked a very narrow slippery trail. As we sang the Christmas hymn “Away in a Manger” she opened the door of her lowly dwelling to hand over a five peso coin as a gesture of traditional appreciation to carollers in the sweet spirit of Christmas. But what a surprise it was to her as we refuse the coin and instead gave her packed of groceries more than enough for the desired “Noche Buena” (Christmas Eve dinner) the following day. To a widower and his children we walked approximately a kilometre and a half and trudged an unpaved muddy and waterlogged road. The little nipa hut was unlighted and dark. The family were out for a community Christmas activity. We left the gift to the District President who lives near. We walked farther more to the homes of others and sang carols. Tears are shed, heartfelt gratitude expressed and hearts touched as little children gathered around and rejoiced to see the generous gift. Not anyone knew who the benevolent giver was for the benefactor desired not to be identified.

On many Christmases and other times this benevolent and generous benefactor had been sharing her little abundance to several people not even known to her. It has been my privilege to be her channel as she extends her Christ like attribute and generosity to some poverty stricken people. She doesn’t have the kind of riches and affluence that many have, but in her own little way she would raise a cow in her little pasture in the small farming community in Utah, U.S.A. purposely for somebody. At a certain period she would have the cow sold and the proceeds to be given and shared to those whom such was purposely raised. She did this many times and what a joy it was for me and my family to also share the experience of witnessing and knowing her generosity and benevolence and her missionary service, which seemed not to find an end during those eighteen months of officially wearing a missionary tag but continued through the years in noble and unselfish service to the poor and the needy.

Since her coming in Surigao City, Philippines in 1986 as a Welfare Missionary we have not meet again but our communications continued for years through hand written letters send though post mail and until the internet was available and our communications were made online. She is such a very thoughtful friend that whenever our letters are late, she would write to ask what is happening to us. Many times I have to caution her to do more for herself and her future. Yet I could not really afford to deprive her of the blessings of joy and gladness that come from her selfless service to others.

She recently had a hip operation and the recuperation period had been a long process. Until now she has not been totally cured. Yet even in her own sufferings and difficulties she still thinks of others. Witnessing the great devastation on television and learning of the greatest difficulty suffered by the victims of the typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines, she wrote on November 10, 2013:

“I have been prompted to find out if your Western Union station is functioning. My thoughts were to send you some money to help those who did not have because of the typhoon but also to go for those that need medical help. Could you do that? It will not be much but it will help. You need to put it through the FO (Fast Offering) so it takes the pressure off you. You are the eyes of the Lord there and I know you will do the right thing with it.”

The following day I replied to her, “O, my, you need to keep your money for yourself. You said, you're an 'Ol hen’, and you needed more to keep you strong. Our people here are resilient and strong even in their greatest poverty.”

She is a single woman and alone, yet she finds joy in service to God and His people. She may not be among those many rich and affluent who gave millions or even billions of dollars in charity works, but her greatest desire to give of herself through her meagre resources to help the poor and needy is a living example and a fitting reminder of the New Testament story of the Widow’s Mite:

“And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.

“ And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.

“And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:

“For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living” (Mark 12:41-44).

She is now old and stricken in years, afflicted and challenged but her spiritual energy remained vibrantly active and dynamic. While experiencing a difficult and long process of recuperation from a hip operation she wrote on October 25, 2013, “I am praying that when I get through this experience that I will be able to continue at the place in caring for my animals. My former Branch President wrote me that he thought I was the only true pioneer lady he has ever known. I don't know anything else so I am glad I am a good example of something. It keeps me going and functional with a good cause. Someday all I will be able to do is temple work and that will be ok.” 

She has served ten years as a Temple worker and still continues to do so even in a crutch. It is so good that she has friends to help her attend to her duties in the temple. Her thoughtfulness and love always awaken our faculties into a sense of gratefulness as she continually expressed her words of concern. Lately she wrote, “Oh, how I wish this 'Ol Hen had you here under her wing’. She would not fret so much.”

Today, the 14th of December 2013 is her 76th birthday. As I write this Christmas and birthday tribute in deep and heartfelt gratitude of her goodness and compassionate service, I was prompted to write her noble name and to include her memorable pictures. But I was reminded of the Lord’s Admonition, “take heed that ye do not your alms before men to be seen of them; otherwise ye have no reward of your Father who is in heaven.” (3 Nephi 13:1.) It is perhaps enough that I know and she knows, but that the giver of the generous gifts will remain a secret to the receivers that the “Father who seeth in secret shall reward” the giver “openly” (3 Nephi 13:4).

President Thomas S. Monson once told of an experience: “I approached the reception desk of a large hospital to learn the room number of a patient I had come to visit. This hospital, like almost every other in the land, was undergoing a massive expansion. Behind the desk where the receptionist sat was a magnificent plaque which bore an inscription of thanks to donors who had made possible the expansion. The name of each donor who had contributed $100,000 appeared in a flowing script, etched on an individual brass placard suspended from the main plaque by a glittering chain.

“The names of the benefactors were well known. Captains of commerce, giants of industry, professors of learning—all were there. I felt gratitude for their charitable benevolence. Then my eyes rested on a brass placard which was different—it contained no name. One word, and one word only, was inscribed: “Anonymous.” I smiled and wondered who the unnamed contributor could have been. Surely he or she experienced a quiet joy unknown to any other.” (Anonymous, General Conference, April 1983).

On this her 76th birthday which is also a time for the joyful Christmas season I tried to find most appropriate words that would best express my gratitude in behalf of the many souls she had given a hand of benevolence. I found no better words than those spoken by the Lord Himself, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matthew 25:40.) Indeed, no great a compliment, no better words of tribute, and no superior honour given than from such wondrous acknowledgement from Him who is Christ the Lord, the giver of the greatest gift of all, who said, “I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish” (John 10:28).

BEYOND THE VEIL

by: Norberto Betita

Early in my infancy I contracted a very serious disease that almost claimed my life according to my maternal grandmother. But I survived to see my maternal grandparents die and also witness the passing of my parents and four of my siblings. The deaths of my maternal grandparents were of illnesses related to old age and so of my parents. My elder sister died in the heights of her teaching career which she struggled so much to obtain amidst poverty. Her five young children were then full of wonderful prospects of the future. Then she was diagnosed of a breast cancer. She was operated but the disease lingered and for months she suffered with inexplicable pain until finally she died. My elder brother died in a sea tragedy on a Christmas Eve. He was travelling with her family to the hometown of her wife when while on the middle of the deep sea the boat capsized resulting to the death of many passengers including my brother and his two children. The other elder brother became infected with a cancer on the face bone. Penury finds no opportunity for him to undergo a complicated operation, and he eventually died bearing the pains of a lingering illness. My younger sister passed away by ordinary illness associated with her special personality disorder.

In my lifetime I have witnessed among my friends, neighbours and associates so much of the grief attendant to dying. I have seen those in the exuberance of youth, when the future seemed to be prospectively bright but cut short as they passed early beyond the veil. I witnessed my friends rising into great heights of success in their chosen careers and all of a sudden entered the doors of death. I saw men and women suffering from debilitating afflictions yearning and wanting to die but have to wait until the call for them to take the journey beyond the veil was appointed. 

Most recently my sister-in-law also died of cancer in the throat. She had undergone modern medical attention but the cancer cells already spread throughout her body system resulting to a painful and excruciating agony preceding her final departure from mortality. 

She desired most that her children would rise above and beyond their most humble beginning and be prepared for the challenges of the future. And, her dreams did come true. Of course, she is not without mistakes. Like most of us she had her weaknesses and imperfections. But she wrestled and fought bravely his life’s Goliath’s and eventually won her battles. Indeed, we should be grateful for such kind of an honourable woman of hope, a faithful wife, a responsible mother and homemaker, whose exemplar might well open our hearts to the fact that no great a difficulty, no hard a struggle, no strong a barrier in all of life that could not be hurdled.

To her most beloved husband Manolito, whom she sincerely and so lovingly bade goodbye immediately before passing, to her son Jun James, to her daughter Cheryl, and his increasing posterity, Milagros left a most noble heritage and an enduring legacy, which eternal consequences could not be matched by earthly possessions. May the bereaved family have the same feeling of gratitude for their dearly beloved Milagros Lamoste Betita as their highest tribute for her passing.

Indeed, in life, “we laugh, we cry, we work, we play, we love, we live. And then we die. Death is our universal heritage. All must pass its portals. Death claims the aged, the weary and worn. It visits the youth in the bloom of hope and the glory of expectations. Nor are little children kept beyond its grasp” (Thomas S. Monson).

Bruce R. McConkie speaks of death as “a subject which strikes dread—even terror—into the hearts of most men. It is something we fear, of which we are sorely afraid, and from which most of us would flee if we could. He speaks of it as “the passing of the immortal soul into the eternal realms ahead that dread day when we shall shuffle off this mortal coil and go back to the dust from whence we came.”

And what of death---the journey beyond the veil?

Death originates from the fall of Adam in consequence of his transgression. “Because that Adam fell, we are; and by his fall came death; and we are made partakers of misery and woe.” (Moses 6:48). “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned. Death reigns from Adam to Moses” (Romans 5:12, 14). Death is the result and effect of sin. But death is an indispensable requirement for us to inherit eternal life. “Adam Fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25). “Death hath passed upon all men, to fulfil the merciful plan of the great Creator” (2 Nephi 9:6).

The scriptures are abounding with explanations on why death is necessary for all to experience. The prophet Alma in the Book of Mormon explained that “Adam did fall by the partaking of the forbidden fruit, according to the word of God and by his fall, all mankind became a lost and fallen people.” Alma said “that if it had been possible for Adam to have partaken of the fruit of the tree of life at that time, there would have been no death.” But Adam was not allowed to partake of the fruit for God so restricted and decreed it, “If thou eat thou shalt surely die.” And because Adam decided to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, “death comes upon mankind” (see Alma 12:22-24). 

However, in spite of death as an essential consequence, Adam’s transgression also brought about another fundamental upshot, that of man becoming “as God, knowing good and evil.” This knowledge should have given Adam the opportunity to also take the fruit “of the tree of life, and eat and live forever” But, “the Lord God placed cherubim and the flaming sword, that he should not partake of the fruit” This is done to give man, “a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God.” If Adam should have partaken immediately the fruit of the tree of life, “he would have lived forever, according to the word of God and also the word of God would have been void, and the great plan of salvation would have been frustrated. But behold, it was appointed unto man to die” (See Alma 42:3-6). 

And so Adam and Eve because of their transgression were “cast out from the Garden of Eden” from the presence of God and “became spiritually dead, which is the first death, even that same death which is the last death, which is spiritual, which shall be pronounced upon the wicked when” God “shall say: Depart, ye cursed.” However, as to the temporal death, the death of the physical body, “the Lord God, gave unto Adam and unto his seed, that they should not die until the Lord God, should send forth angels to declare unto them repentance and redemption, through faith on the name of” the “Only Begotten Son.” And so Adam was taught and assigned “days of his probation—that by his natural death he might be raised in immortality unto eternal life, even as many as would believe” (See D & C 29:41-43). 

By the fact, “that our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord they became subjects to follow after their own will.” They are now free to exercise their moral agency to choose which way to follow having gained the knowledge of good and evil and after being taught by angels about repentance and the plan of redemption. The Lord sees it not fitting to immediately rescue man “from this temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness. Therefore, as the soul could never die, and the fall had brought upon all mankind a spiritual death as well as a temporal, that is, they were cut off from the presence of the Lord, it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed from this spiritual death. Therefore, as they had become carnal, sensual, and devilish, by nature, this probationary state became a state for them to prepare; it became a preparatory state” ( See Alma 42:7-10).

Temporal death is the separation of the physical or mortal body and the spirit in man. The mortal body is laid in the grave to return to dust from whence it came. The spirit in man which is eternal even from the beginning will not die but shall sojourn beyond the veil, into the world of waiting spirits called the spirit world. The spirit of the righteous “are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow” (Alma 40:12). For “those who had died in their sins, without a knowledge of the truth, or in transgression, having rejected the prophets” (D&C 138:32) will be ushered into a place reserved for them which is called spirit prison. These spirits are “taught faith in God, repentance from sin, vicarious baptism for the remission of sins, the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, and all other principles of the gospel that were necessary for them to know” (D&C 138:33-34). Temporal death is a temporary separation of the mortal body and the spirit, until the resurrection day when the “sleeping dust was to be restored unto its perfect frame, bone to his bone, and the sinews and the flesh upon them, the spirit and the body to be united never again to be divided, that they might receive a fullness of joy” (D&C 138:17). 

Thomas S. Monson declared, “Life moves on. Youth follows childhood, and maturity comes ever so imperceptibly. As we search and ponder the purpose and the problems of life, all of us sooner or later face the question of the length of life and of a personal, everlasting life. These questions most insistently assert themselves when loved ones leave us or when we face leaving those we love.

“At such times, we ponder the universal question, best phrased by Job of old, who centuries ago asked, “If a man die, shall he live again?” (Job 14;14).

Certainly, there is life after death. Man’s journey in mortality is temporary and his sojourn beyond the veil into the spirit world is a time of waiting. It is sure that death comes to mortal beings, as it is certain that resurrection will come to all those in the spirit world. The eternal verity of the resurrection provides hope and peace beyond our ability to imagine. The Lord promised “that those that die in me shall not taste of death for it shall be sweet unto them.” (D&C42:46). But we are likewise warned: “Do not suppose that ye shall be restored from sin to happiness. Behold, I say unto you wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).

Russel M. Nelson once said, “Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is a natural response in complete accord with divine commandment: “Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die” (D&C 42:45).

“Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.”

As the hour of his death approached the apostle Paul declared:

“I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.

“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

“Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:6-8)

As all of us will undoubtedly pass this life towards an eternal journey beyond the veil we need to conduct ourselves in such a way that we may be worthy of the joyful promise to live in the paradise of God while waiting for the glorious resurrection. The prophet Amulek taught, “This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God” (Alma 34:32). Our performances here in accord with the covenants and commitments to love and serve God and our neighbours together with our receiving the necessary ordinances of salvation will surely affect our eternal destiny.

IS CHRISTMAS REALLY A TIME OF JOY AND REJOICING?

by: Norberto Betita

The shocking experiences of people, who suffered the very dreadful storms and tragedies of life; the anguish and grief for the loved and lost, brought about by the desolating catastrophe; the sorrows and pain for the desired healing and recovery which appear to extend years of poverty and suffering, prompted many wounded souls to raise the question, “IS CHRISTMAS REALLY A TIME OF JOY AND REJOICING?” The calm and serenity after the storm emerged as to envelope crumbled homes, uprooted trees, destroyed cash crops, and denuded forests. The breaking light of day which signals a brightness of hope for the lonely and the weary victims seemed not to heal the pains of loneliness and sorrow. Compassion, sympathy, generosity, benevolence and love abound. Yet it does not fill the voids and emptiness.

To the most sympathetic and compassionate, there seemed to be no reason to celebrate the joyful spirit of the blessed season while our fellowmen in the affected areas are in extreme suffering. Corporate and office Christmas parties have to be discontinued as an expression of empathy and love, and funds were laid as offerings in the tables of the hungry and the distressed in noble acts of generosity and benevolence.

However, we need to understand that Christmas served a blessed purpose and adversity has its own reason. Consequently, whatever our circumstances, whether we are the generous donors or the grateful receiver of benevolent offerings, we need to welcome with joyful anticipation the Spirit of Christmas who is Jesus Christ and His infinite gift of love. 

Long before the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ prophets had predicted His birth: “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). In the Book of Mormon it was foretold “...the Son of God cometh upon the face of the earth..., he shall be born of Mary, at Jerusalem..., she being a virgin, a precious and chosen vessel, who shall be overshadowed and conceive by the power of the Holy Ghost, and bring forth a son, yea, even the Son of God.” (Alma 9:9-10). The signs preceding his birth was predicted to be a time when “...there shall be great lights in heaven, insomuch that in the night before he cometh there shall be no darkness, insomuch that it shall appear unto man as if it was day... there shall be one day and a night and a day, as if it were one day and there were no night... the night shall not be darkened; and it shall be the night before he is born...there shall a new star arise, such an one as ye never have beheld.” (Helaman 14;3-5). 

While Jesus was conceived in His mother’s womb, “... the angel of the Lord appeared” to Joseph “in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins...that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.” (Matthew 1:20-23).

Such exalted declarations of the birth of the Savior of the world were one of expectant joy and gladness; of happiness and rejoicing. Indeed, He was born in accordance with the prophetic utterances, given birth by the Virgin Mary in Bethlehem of Judea. Perhaps even in that little town of Bethlehem He should have been afforded the best attention; provided with the best available room; offered the best obtainable bed and linen for her mother and Himself to lie on, worthy only of the hospitality that should have been extended and bestowed to The Son of God, The Savior of the World, The Prince of Peace, JESUS THE CHRIST! The birth and coming of the Emmanuel---God is with us, should have been in such a place of comfort as many of those born before and during His time. Instead He chose to condescend and made Himself lower than us all by choosing to be born in an animal stable. Luke described the event: “And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:7). What a pathetic condition! What a dismal situation, a disheartening setting for a prophesied Son of God! When measured according to the world’s norms, such should have been worst a situation for the birth of the King of Kings. This perhaps made the angel to ask the prophet Nephi in a vision many years before Christ’s birth, “Knowest thou the condescension of God?” (1 Nephi 11:16). And perhaps for this reason He was despised of His own. 

Yet in that calmly night and despite the bleak condition of His birth; where only the scattered straws of hay served as floorboards for the ground; where only His earthly parents and animals stood beside and around Him; the heavens rejoiced, “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.” (Luke 2:13-14) To the “shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night, “the angel” declared, “behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

“And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. (Luke 2:8, 10-12).

Wise men guided by a new star which was “seen...in the east...come to worship him.” (Matthew 2:1-2). Matthew’s account of the visit was expressive of real joy and gladness of men whose prominence was even associated with the powerful King Herod. They leave behind their fame and forgot a while their popularity and reputation, and come to worship a babe born in the lowliest of circumstances, which they believed according to the prophecies to be the Son of God---The Savior of the world. Matthew described their feelings: “When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.” (Matthew 2:10-11). The wise men felt that such precious gifts are indeed worthy and fitting for the new born King of Kings.

However, sadness and sorrow followed His wondrous birth as Herod the King, “...slew all the children in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from two years old and under...then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet, saying, In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and would not be comforted, because they are not.” (Matthew 2:16-18). Jesus was spared to fulfill His saving mission.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ---His greatest mission to save the world from sin and death is the most sublime and transcendent message that came with His birth. The great light that was shown in the east remains a constant reminder that indeed “...Jesus” is “the light of the world...” and “he that followeth” him “shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (John 8:12). This light is the brightness that beams along the path, as it did the wise men of old and served as a continual guide in our journey back into the presence of our Heavenly Father. 

No matter the circumstances of His birth; notwithstanding His greatest sacrifice of bleeding at every pore in the garden of Gethsemane and eventually dying on the cross at Calvary; and despite the lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning shortly following His death; we have every reason to rejoice in celebration of His birth for it was from such beginnings that we are given the hope of victory over death and afforded the opportunity to inherit “the glory of the Celestial, which excels in all things---where God, even the Father reigns upon his throne forever and ever.” (D & C 76:92).

Apart from the tragic experiences that many of us had been through, there are other points and issues relative to the Christmas celebrations and festivities which somehow also make many of us to doubt the veritable reality of Christmas as a joyful season, and so ask the same question as the sorrowful and grief- stricken victims of tragedies, “IS CHRISTMAS REALLY A TIME OF JOY AND REJOICING?” Dieter F. Uchtdorf has this to say about such circumstances: “Who among us has not felt concern over the commercialization and even greed of the Christmas season? Who hasn't felt overwhelmed by the packed calendars, the stress of finding gifts, the pressure of planning meals and events? In fact, psychologists tell us that during this season of cheer and goodwill, many feel sorrow and depression.” He further said, “All of these spectacular displays and decorations that compete for our attention can be beautiful and uplifting, but if that's all we see, then we're missing something that's in plain sight. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we become so preoccupied with responsibilities, commitments, and the stress of our many tasks that we fail to see with our hearts that which is essential and most sacred.”

As in history, the joyful activities of the Christmas season fade away towards another year of festivity, in the same manner that the pangs of tribulations and sufferings which affected the lives of our people will pass away. May we ever keep in mind that the true and real gift giving in that first Christmas morn is never an event to be forgotten? It is by continuous recollection of that blessed dawn of Christ’s birth where we may get daily doses of faith, hope, charity and love. To the victims of tragedies, let those painful experiences be recorded in your life’s historical---a memorabilia of the refining and purifying tests of mortality. “There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ. Let it be a time that lights the eyes of children and puts laughter on their lips. Let it be a time for lifting the lives of those who live in loneliness. Let it be a time for calling our families together, for feeling a closeness to those who are near to us and a closeness also to those who are absent.” (Thomas S. Monson). Yes, let Christmas be a time of joy and rejoicing.

THE DIVINE ATTRIBUTE OF FORGIVENESS

by: Norberto Betita

In the wee hours of midnight I and my wife were still awake figuring about our daughter’s marital dilemma with her husband. We have been trying to comfort both of them and made the best advice that we could possibly give as parents for them to hold on to each other and to be true to their temple covenants. But their trouble appeared to have gone deep that they seemed not to listen to our advises. It looks as if they were spending their days fostering offenses and preparing reprisals. They live far away from us so we could not really provide the best expressions of love and concern for them. We thought that if only they are right beside us our loving hugs and tender pats on the back will probably provide a much better message of forgiveness for each other. We had been praying for them each day with greater faith that they will be reconciled soon. 

While in the midst of our silent dialogue, my wife asked, “Had there been any mistakes or misdeeds on my part as a wife that hurt or injured your feelings during the almost 40 years of our marriage?” The stillness of the night, the silence of midnight as time shifts to the chilly breeze of early dawn, broken by occasional lightning and thunderstorm common during the rainy season seemed to echo in rhythmic succession the question not once asked in 39 years by a loving and most faithful wife of my own. I hold tight her cheeks and her beauty seemed to glow as light flashed from the lightning on the glass jalousies of our window. I told her with reassuring faithfulness, “Never once did I see or hear any faults of you for I am blinded and hearing-impaired by your love, beauty and faithfulness. Should there had been any misdeed not one ever remains in my memory for they are all erased and forgotten.” She laughed as if taking my words as a common humor. Yet I assured her those were words from the heart. 

I know I have many faults in my life as a husband and father. I should have asked her the same  question. But already I have always heard my dear Letty telling my children in words figurative that, “Through the years your fathers faults would have filled more than a bag of a 50-kilo rice. But the  bag’s bottom is open and so all were spilled and not one remained. Your father is my choice of a husband and father of you my children and I have to stand by and love that choice.” I felt such forgiveness always through those long years of our married life.

Sherrie Johnson once declared, “Forgiving those close to us for faults in our relationships is possibly the most difficult kind of forgiveness. But it is an important key to a happy life and is absolutely essential to eternal progression.”

Without forgiveness marital relationships could not possibly endure for as in the words of the Apostle Paul, “...all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). John the beloved also reminded us, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1: 8). And even emphasized that, “If we say that we have not sinned, we make him (the Lord) a liar, and his word is not in us.” (1 John 1: 10). As we enter the doors of marriage we need to be consciously alert and prepare our hearts of these unquestionable facts. We need to accept that there are going to be faults that are to surely enter into the bond and each should be ready to forgive and forget. Otherwise we will find no room for peace in our personal and family life. It is the spirit of forgiveness and its accompanying principle repentance that provides the needed peace---the internal peace. The peace that was radiated by the ultimate giver of peace who himself said: “blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9). 

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

“But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”(Matthew 6:14-15).

Forgiveness is an attribute of divinity. It is the fundamental nature and spirit of the Gospel. It is best expressed and exemplified by the Lord Himself who while hanging on the cross at Calvary pleaded in agony for those who humiliated, abused, spat upon, ridiculed and mocked Him, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34).

Ought we not therefore to be more forgiving of those of our loved ones or anyone in our relationships who might have simply wronged us? Instead of drumming up the tiny mole hills of misunderstanding into mountains of disagreements and disdain, would it not be wonderful to forgive and forget unto repentance for the spirit of peace to dwell in our relationships? 

In these the latter days the Lord repeated most clearly His admonition to forgive: “My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

“And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.” (D & C 64: 8-11).

Than for us to bear the never ending animosity and anguish of soul, for which the attendant guilt is much “harder to bear than physical pain” (Boyd K. Packer), what we need most is to willingly sit down and silently talk together in a quiet confine and encircling bond of love and peace we once entered into by a covenant, forward to the sweetest blessing of all. The doors of our hearts and homes should therefore be closed against the vile spirit of fault finding, criticizing, pride, jealousy and enmity. 

Let our hearts be turned to Christ and His redeeming love. “The pure love of Christ is a unifying force that seeks to assist, whereas unrighteous judgment and criticism do the opposite. Many of us, unfortunately, have been both the victims and the perpetrators of unrighteous judgment ourselves, and we know what it does to relationships.” (Arthur R. Bassett). However, the Lord can heal whatever wounds the guilt from sin may have inflicted.

This healing was described by Alma after he has repented of his sins. Declared he, “My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvellous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more.” (Mosiah 27:29).

Dallin H. Oaks ones said, “One of the most Godlike expressions of the human soul is the act of forgiveness...Forgiveness is mortality’s mirror image of the mercy of God.” After having been forgiven, Alma cried out, “...oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!” (Alma 36:17-20).

The challenges of relationships are never ending. Individual mistakes and faults are constantly a part of the circle. To retract an inch is a sad demonstration of weakness and frequently results to an eventual failure and disappointment. But to bravely advance and face every challenge, walking past all mistakes and faults in the sweet spirit of forgiveness and repentance, brings joy and gladness and invite the superior Light that provides greater tranquility, harmony and peace.

YOUTH’S TOUGH CHALLENGE ---DEFYING NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE

by: Norberto Betita

Years ago I read a story in a back issue of a New Era Magazine of September 1987 in the Church Library where a Seminary Teacher, Jack S. Marshall, wrote an article entitled, “Calling a Square a Square.” He told of an experiment which he did to his seminary students to show how powerful peer pressure can be. On the chalk board he drew a star, a circle, an oval and a square. He told his students that for the next fifty minutes the objects on the board were to be identified as a star, a circle, an oval, and a triangle, although the square was obviously a square. It was to be called as triangle and nothing else. They need to convince an unsuspecting visitor that the square was actually a triangle. Six seats were set in front of the classroom and five of the stars of the senior class were allowed to sit leaving one of the seats vacant. A freshman student was then invited into the classroom, which recognized himself then as among the elite of the high school. He felt some pride that he was among the who’s who of the school. He was told that his role was just to identify the objects drawn on the chalkboard.

Then the experiment commenced. One of the stars was called to identify the objects, and right away said, “Star, circle, oval and triangle.” The freshman laughed in surprise. Then the remaining four elites were called and everybody identified the square as a triangle.

The responsibility now fell on the freshman to identify the objects. While indentifying each drawing his voice grew weaker, shakier and less confident; “Star...circle...oval...” then silence. He looked at the audience. Then quietly he spoke, “triangle.” The experiment of the Seminary teacher worked.

Many years after as a Seminary teacher myself I tried to use the same kind of experiment on my students. But this time I reversed the idea and objective. Instead of proving the persuasive power of negative peer pressure on the youth, I desired to prove that the youth has the power to defy or confront any kind of negative peer pressures.  

I applied the same experiment procedure by drawing a star, a circle, an oval and a square. I told my students that during the whole time of the class the objects are to be identified as a star, a circle, an oval and a triangle. As expected some objected that the last was a square and not a triangle. But I reminded them that only for that particular day and class time that it should be called a triangle even if it is obviously a square. Our class is a combination of first year to fourth year high school students. For such purpose I choose five from various high school levels, those who are weaker and not so active students to sit in front of the class.

I purposely gave an assignment to one of the top students in our seminary class for her to be late in class as to take the role of the unsuspecting visitor. This young woman is a consistent honor student, a junior in high school, a very diligent seminary student, a very active member of the young women organization, and a consistent recipient of certificates for young women Personal Progress. Her widowed mother remarried and worked in an island, but still very supportive of her.

While waiting for the unsuspecting visitor we proceeded with the discussion of our seminary lessons until she came and gave me what I have for her as an errand. I have her sat in front together with the five others and apprised that her role was just to identify the objects drawn on the chalkboard.

To conceal my experimentation from her I proceeded with the discussions. After a while I started calling each one of the five to identify the objects. First was of a lower level and said, “Star, circle, oval...” and perhaps forgetting the instruction scratch his head then said “triangle.” The second was a fourth year student and with confidence identified the objects, “star, circle, oval, and triangle.” The young woman seemed not to be surprised at the responses of the two. We continued until all the remaining three had identified the objects as star, circle, oval and triangle.

When it was her turn to identify the objects she straightway said, “Star, circle, oval, square.”

In chorus the students shouted, “You’re wrong. Our teacher told us that during the class time the square should be called a triangle and you called it a square.”

Then with kind of a slight reproof or rebuke she told her classmates, “Even if I was late and no matter what the instruction, and how each of you identify the object it doesn’t change its form. It is a square, a square, a square.”

I pacified the class and disclosed to them about the experiment restating the original story of “Calling a Square a Square.” I expressed gratitude having proven to them that no matter how strong the pressure of our friends and classmates we each have the capacity and power to resist and oppose the same if we so desire.

Many years had passed since and the young woman who played the role of the unsuspecting visitor who called a “Square a Square” had later graduated with honors from high school, received her young womanhood medallion, and graduated Cum Laude from college. She married in the Temple with a returned missionary, and has a respectable employment. The rest of my students also served missions, but others became gullible victims of peer pressures and are nowhere to be found.  

Peer pressures come in many forms. It is very strong in vices such as cigarette smoking and wine; sexual perversion and promiscuity; pornography of many forms; gambling and internet gaming; drug addiction and many other appearances of evil common in the modern world. And it is very sad to note that many of the rising generation who are to be the future of the world, the expected participants in the constant renewal of leadership had become vulnerable to these alluring deadly vices of moral caricature.  If our youth are not on guard they will become easy prey to the glamorous deception of Satan.

However, I found that regular applications of Church programs---Seminary and Institute, weekly family home evening, daily family scripture study, daily family prayer, education and continued family support and motivation are in reality the best antidote against moral degeneracy.  All negative peer pressures can be melted away by the defying and wrestling power of truth and righteousness, as in the case of that young woman in our Seminary class who stood with courage to call a “Square a Square.”

When my son was in high school most of his classmates and close friends had already started smoking and drinking wine, but he chose not to. During semestral vacations in college he would be invited by his friends for lunch or dinner, but he never bond with the group unless one should promise not to drink liquor. He instead became an exemplar of sobriety and solemnity among his peers.  He was respected more by his colleagues. While his friends and classmates were trailing the road to academic achievements, he tracked the better way by serving a two-year full time mission in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. When his friends and classmates were already enjoying the fruits of their academic achievements, he married in the Temple, raised a family of his own, worked, served God and His people, and go back to college. Like all other youths of his time he became vulnerable and subject to the top and heightened challenges of youthful life. Yet with courage strong and values high he fought and wrestled and eventually defied the negative peer pressures of his young life and grew into a productive and righteous manhood. 

THE GIFT OF LEARNING AND JOY OF ACHIEVING

by: Norberto Betita

She’s a “Mormon”---born in the covenant. She was conceived when her mother was between 40 and 41, an age when most women are no longer capable of child bearing. She was given birth by cesarean section after her mother suffered a stroke and survived two succeeding operations.  In early childhood she climbed and surmounted the mountain of impediments blocking her way to academic excellence. While her contemporaries enjoyed the joys and thrills of youthful vigor, she rummaged every opportunity for intellectual and spiritual growth simultaneously graduating from a 4-year Seminary Program of the Church and earning a high school diploma. Central to her childhood and youthful life was a solemn and firm determination to excel and achieve. The highest honors available for every level from elementary to high school became her most humble achievements. The results of her college admission test both from the department of education and private educational measurement institutions were marked excellent. With very limited resources available she qualified herself to study in a premiere university. Prior to college graduation she was measured with an IQ competency of 155. She was found deserving of a university gold medal for graduating with honors, while at the same time receiving a Diploma for a 4-year Institute of Religion Course of the Church. While others proudly publish their academic achievements in large tarpaulin exhibits, she hides from the accolade and recognition she deserves most from teachers and friends.

College graduation should have positioned her to a comfortable course and easy pathway to every desired success and further temporal growth of a young adult. But she chose to bear the unfailing burdens of her ageing poor parents.

Her life is reminiscent of the words of the Emperor of China in the movie Mulan, “The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” Inherent of her every humble desire in life is to be one best wife and to perform the divine role of motherhood as admirably expressed in her arts. All her four elder siblings are already married and sealed in the temple, and she is learning from them. Her life is a mark of respect and honor for the family. As parents we are so proud of her. She is an exemplar to her nephews and nieces.

In this her 23^rd birthday celebration we pay tribute, by this post, of all she has done for us and so express our deepest love and heartfelt appreciation with best wishes for added blessings.

November 23, 2013

Dear Soi,

Each year, month, and day seemed to be getting shorter, and time appears to be flying faster than each tick of our old clock or even of a most modern digital timepiece. Even the signs of the times are also hastening and getting worse in the same vein that God’s work of salvation is hastening on. Each time I sit in front of the computer and figure out what I would have to write, I always find that the day is always in a hurry as to find the page of the computer blank. But today, I am sure, I will be running faster than time for I am filled with excitement that my beloved last born is now celebrating her 23^rd birthday, an age when we can start a countdown for a possible sprout of a new branch of the family tree.

FROM THE DEEPEST CHAMBERS OF OUR HEARTS WE SEND OUR GREETINGS FOR A JOYFUL AND CHEERFUL BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS DESPITE YOUR DISTANCE FROM THE FAMILY WITH BEST WISHES FOR MORE DOORS OF OPPORTUNITIES AND GROWTH AHEAD! ALONG WITH OUR SINCERE PRAYERS FOR YOU EMERGE THE REFLECTION OF OUR LAST AND FINAL WISH TO WITNESS THE DAY WHEN YOU WILL ONE DAY STAND BETWEEN THE MIRRORS OF ETERNITY.

You are now at an age when the thought of creating a family of your own may start to be a part of your life’s plans. This will also be the time when we as parents are of continued anxiety on how you might eventually deal with our dreams for your eventual eternal marriage. Yet like what we say to you as always, you have to follow your dreams and make good your daily get-up-and-go mappings and preparations forward to your best potentials.

Many of our friends and even your classmates asked us if we are amenable or do we ever have any objections for our children marrying at an early age. And, most of them are really surprised to hear that for as long as our children are of the right mind and age we give them the moral agency to decide for themselves. We sure have our best wishes for them, but we do not impose upon them our parental requirements. We give them the freedom to “choose their love and love their choice.“

Actually there is no exact age when to settle in marriage. Some writers say it would be best during mid 20’s. Others say it is best in the later 20’s when one should have been able to finish college, find better jobs and accumulate resources necessary for raising and rearing a family. However, the way I look at it, as in my own experience those things are unessential in starting a marriage. It is just like the story told by Elder Robert D. Hales of a newlywed: “I remember a young couple just out of college. One parent gave them a home; the other parent gave them furnishings and a new car. They had everything in the world given to them. Within three years they were divorced. They hadn’t worked and sacrificed. They had leaned on each other and on their parents as a crutch, had crippled themselves, and hadn’t grown. They hadn’t learned the hard part. They hadn’t worried about making their marriage work.”(A Little Heaven on Earth, Liahona, September 2011, p. 23).

Marrying in the 20’s had many advantages of course. A Deseret news article reported “that women who were married in their 20’s are more likely to call themselves “very happy” in marriage. Waiting brings risks, including a smaller dating pool from which to select a partner. Besides that, young adults who marry in their 20s are more likely to have children in wedlock, which creates a more stable family footing. Couples are more likely to keep ties to and share the same faith (we like this statement). And they are more apt to avoid what the researchers call “relational cynicism.” Fertility also peaks around age 28.”

And here’s one good thing we found from the same report. It says, “If you’re in a good relationship AND your friends and family are enthusiastic about the character of your beloved, it’s time to discern if you’re called to marriage---even if you’re in your 20s.”

That is why I wanted to write your boyfriend about you so that he will know (in as much as you would not like him to know) about your personality and character which may be a deciding force for him, in the same manner that you need to know more about himself and pass it on to us to add to our excitement and enthusiasm about him. Of course we are not interested to know about his resources and wealth that he might possess or lack.  All we desire to know is about his personal character and manners, and perhaps about his dreams, for these are fundamental in building a family.

The challenges of marriage are vast and varied. But we found that they can be resolved one at a time, and while in the process of battling with hard times, we become even stronger in overcoming the rest. However, as it is, difficulties are crucial to our marital happiness.

Anyway, do not mistake that we are driving you fast the lane to marital suicide. We are just telling you to make a three-year plan or it can be a two-year graph of a marital map to be able to safely launch into the blissful shore of family happiness.  The future is yours to make or mar. Early planning generates superior advantages.

Celebrating birthdays is not about counting the age; it is more about counting your blessings. It is not about the many physical gifts laid before the table of the birthday feast ; it is more about remembering the many spiritual gifts which our Father in Heaven so bounteously bestowed. You may not have a bounteous feast and we fear that we could not even have a modest birthday meal in this your birthday, but we know that you are among those whom God has given the gift of the “ten talents.”

We could not ask for more than to wish you the best of health and continued wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong; to be in harmony and at peace with all whom you might have the opportunity to associate; to make better every opportunity for growth and progress; to give your best efforts to contribute to the vision and mission of your company; and most of all to find time to attend church and to help your boyfriend find the path that leads to the Temple doors and with you together stand between the mirrors of eternity someday (that’s if you have no other options. hehehe).

We want you to know that you are always remembered and loved. May the best that God has stored and reserved for you be abundantly poured out as the dews from Heaven in this your birthday and in the coming days.

WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Ever so sincerely,

Papa, Mama and family