by: Norberto Betita
While the world rejoiced on the successful turnout of events of the second millennium since the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ, my family suffered a reversal.
I was saddened to hear from my eldest daughter that the seven-month fetus inside her womb seemed no longer to move and that she had to immediately go to her doctor. She came back with the depressing information that she had to be admitted to the hospital for an emergency delivery of a dead fetus. The premature baby girl was delivered on December 31, 1999 and found to have been choked and strangled by an umbilical cord coil right on the neck. Her stillbirth was such a great and terrible loss considering that she was the first born as a child and as a grandchild. It was even most painful because while still a premature baby she looks strong, full-grown and very beautiful. Looking at her inside the box as we transported the dead body home, I felt the weight of such a great loss of what should have been a joyful and most important addition to the family. I am grateful though that as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have understood better that God has His own purpose and reason for such a trial.
While the neighbourhood and the rest of the world were in a hustle and bustle for the New Year celebration, I and my son kept ourselves busy fabricating a home-made tiny coffin for the child. As she was laid on the little coffin, I repeatedly looked at her over and again appreciating her beauty although mourning for her loss. While the rest of the family were in the hospital and with my stillborn grandchild laid at home, we found no time to celebrate the New Year. As the last seconds signals the approaching dawn of the New Year 2000 and the eventual fireworks displays in the neighbourhood and the entire City were heard and witnessed, our humble home became even more gloomy and disconsolate. When the festivities were ended and my tired eyes could no longer hold drowsiness, I set a mat and slept beside my stillborn eldest grandchild.
The morning breaks and I awoke while the rays of the hill hidden rising sun was up and the stillness of day seemed to signal peace and tranquillity, immediately past the booming and deafening sounds of fireworks for the New Year celebration. The sparkling light of daybreak and the whistles of the humming birds appeared to breach and defy the natural law of the rainy season. Standing right at our front yard free from the humdrum of cars and motorcycles; gazing at the sunshine-cleared horizon; and overlooking the green landscape from our hill situated home, I felt a reassuring peace and a hopeful confidence that life will be better.
The morning breaks and I awoke while the rays of the hill hidden rising sun was up and the stillness of day seemed to signal peace and tranquillity, immediately past the booming and deafening sounds of fireworks for the New Year celebration. The sparkling light of daybreak and the whistles of the humming birds appeared to breach and defy the natural law of the rainy season. Standing right at our front yard free from the humdrum of cars and motorcycles; gazing at the sunshine-cleared horizon; and overlooking the green landscape from our hill situated home, I felt a reassuring peace and a hopeful confidence that life will be better.
While looking at my dear little granddaughter lay dead before my very eyes, awaiting her time to be finally rested to her tiny grave I wondered what would have been her fate. Then I read these words from the handbook: “Temple ordinances are not performed for stillborn children. However, this does not deny the possibility that a stillborn child may be part of the family in the eternities. Parents are encouraged to trust the Lord to resolve such cases in the way He knows is best. The family may record the name of the stillborn child on the family group record followed by the word stillborn in parentheses. It is a fact that a child has life before birth. However, there is no direct revelation on when the spirit enters the body” (Handbook 1, 17.2.10, Stillborn Children (Children Who Die before Birth), 163). Although she did not receive a blessing ordinance, her parents named her Banja May---the name they longed to give her even while still in conception. In the sunny afternoon of the New Year’s Day 2000, we laid Banja May to her final rest in my hometown of San Francisco, Surigao del Norte, Philippines.
The year 2000 turned out well for us after a difficult reversal and setback experienced on the very first day of the New Year. The confidence I felt on that very morning of New Year’s Day came about as my daughter again conceived and eventually gave birth to another beautiful and healthy baby girl on December 2000, the same month when Banja May was stillborn the year before. Since then many New Years had come and seven more grandchildren were born in the family to our four married children. The challenges of each year are vast and varied and each passing day became sorting calisthenics of resolving trials and adversities.
The year 2000 turned out well for us after a difficult reversal and setback experienced on the very first day of the New Year. The confidence I felt on that very morning of New Year’s Day came about as my daughter again conceived and eventually gave birth to another beautiful and healthy baby girl on December 2000, the same month when Banja May was stillborn the year before. Since then many New Years had come and seven more grandchildren were born in the family to our four married children. The challenges of each year are vast and varied and each passing day became sorting calisthenics of resolving trials and adversities.
Very soon we will be welcoming another New Year which would mean an added twelve months of confrontation with life’s contests. We are not sure what lies ahead but we can always be certain to face the inevitable. We can be inspired by the words of Ezra Taft Benzon, “It is not in the pinnacle of success or ease where men and women grow most. It is down the valley of heartaches and disappoints and reverses where men and women grow into strong characters.”
Like the failing internet signal which deprives us of the opportunity to reach out and talk to our loved ones and friends right on the New Year’s Day, the challenges and trials of life also create barriers which at times divest us from attaining our earnest goals. Each year seemed not to give its best despite all conceivable efforts we employ and we often wonder why? Even our highest triumphs provide fulfilment not enough for our hearts content and so we thought of being a failure. Perhaps we are short of understanding that mortality is an eternal journey for growth and development, and we succeed one step at a time. And each New Year gives us the opportunity to rise and step up.
Terryl and Fiona Givens quoted one theologian, “The lower animals, are light and joyous, content if their actual wants are supplied, secure and untroubled from without. But in the consciousness of man... amid the sounds of heartiest joy there runs an unsilenced undertone of secret sadness... Its existence can be traced back beyond the confines of time.”
Like the failing internet signal which deprives us of the opportunity to reach out and talk to our loved ones and friends right on the New Year’s Day, the challenges and trials of life also create barriers which at times divest us from attaining our earnest goals. Each year seemed not to give its best despite all conceivable efforts we employ and we often wonder why? Even our highest triumphs provide fulfilment not enough for our hearts content and so we thought of being a failure. Perhaps we are short of understanding that mortality is an eternal journey for growth and development, and we succeed one step at a time. And each New Year gives us the opportunity to rise and step up.
Terryl and Fiona Givens quoted one theologian, “The lower animals, are light and joyous, content if their actual wants are supplied, secure and untroubled from without. But in the consciousness of man... amid the sounds of heartiest joy there runs an unsilenced undertone of secret sadness... Its existence can be traced back beyond the confines of time.”
Indeed, for the mortal man fullness of joy is not on earth to be found. The Lord assures us, “... in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.” (D & C 101:36). Even the Son of God, “... received not of the fullness at first, but received grace for grace ... until he received a fullness.” (D & C 93:12-13).
My daughter Shauna Megan who is working at Abu Dhabi, UAE, posted on the New Year’s Day 2013, “2012 wasn't my best year. Not the worst either. I lost some. I gained some - weight, friends, love, whatever... et cetera, et cetera. Plus the world didn't end. Thank God! Good morning 2013!” I love her view of life and her attitude towards the dynamism of living. Of course gratitude to God is always a moving ingredient of life.
The Christmas celebration prior to our welcoming the New Year sends an exalted message of hope notwithstanding all odds. It provides us with secure confidence that the things we suffer will eventually heal; that the dreams we are not able to reach will one day come in close proximity; that the incalculable expanse of opportunities are wide open to the living honest seekers; and that the windows of heaven is always open to the obedient.
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