By Norberto Betita
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| Kathleen Beth Betita-Pedrosa |
The twofold role of a single mother is immeasurably tough and tiring, especially as regards nurturing, caring and providing for the physical and spiritual needs and developing every other attributes in her children’s life. It’s such a journey of unspeakable confrontation with life’s adversities. The wrestles of being a single parent and solely supporting the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs of the children is a reality that only the bravest woman is willing to handle. However, the mounting responsibilities and the single-handed role of being a mother and provider can be comfortably surmounted if one understands and accepts the truth about the purpose of life and Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness.
When we left the portals of premortality to sojourn in this our second estate of existence, we carried with us the perfect knowledge that we are here to be tried and tested. However, we forgot those heavenly instructions as we cross the veil of forgetfulness. Therefore, in the crucible of different levels and magnitude of ordeals and refining tests we encountered in this mortal life, we oftentimes question why?
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| UP Graduation |
However, our Heavenly Father, despite our forgetfulness, made us understand through His appointed prophets that we are among “the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among…many of the noble and great ones” (Abraham 3:22). Our coming into this life is an individual choice after we agreed that we “will do all things whatsoever the Lord [our] God shall command [us] Abraham 3:25). We are counted among those “who keep their first estate” whom were promised that as they “keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads forever and ever” (Abraham 3:26).
Hence, we are in this life on temporary estate, a probation, to prove ourselves worthy to be added upon. One of the most common substantiation that God requires of us is how we respond to the trial of our faith. Like our earthly parents, nonetheless, our Heavenly Father is pained at every overwhelming difficulties that we have to suffer, and His hands are always extended to help His suffering child.
It’s been more than three years that our daughter Kathleen Beth and her daughters were estranged from her husband and their father, respectively. Kathleen Beth is such a courageous woman as to stand tall and brave against the intensifying challenges that she and her children are coping. With courage strong and faith undaunted, she tried to squarely face the realities that she is now physically alone in life’s battlefield, although there stands a family that is ready and willing to assist when needed, and above all there is Heavenly Father that is ever listening to every pleading for help.
Hence, we are in this life on temporary estate, a probation, to prove ourselves worthy to be added upon. One of the most common substantiation that God requires of us is how we respond to the trial of our faith. Like our earthly parents, nonetheless, our Heavenly Father is pained at every overwhelming difficulties that we have to suffer, and His hands are always extended to help His suffering child.
It’s been more than three years that our daughter Kathleen Beth and her daughters were estranged from her husband and their father, respectively. Kathleen Beth is such a courageous woman as to stand tall and brave against the intensifying challenges that she and her children are coping. With courage strong and faith undaunted, she tried to squarely face the realities that she is now physically alone in life’s battlefield, although there stands a family that is ready and willing to assist when needed, and above all there is Heavenly Father that is ever listening to every pleading for help.
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| With daughters Jeliene Zaffera and Zaina Viveca |
In this serious battle of single motherhood, she felt not confounded or mystified about every serious incidents and unfortunate encounters with life. She accepts that all the burdens are now to be solitarily borne by her. But despite the difficulties resulting from single parenthood, she still was able to fulfill her responsibilities to her children and even accept a calling in the church. She understands that, “Like the intense fire that transforms iron into steel, as we remain faithful during the fiery trial of our faith, we are spiritually refined and strengthened” (Neil L. Andersen).
In the face of the sanctifying swelter of trials the Lord provides many rich promises of relief and future blessings that are beyond comprehension. He said, “For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand” (D&C 58:2-4).
These assurances and many others in the scriptures, provide for Kathleen Beth incalculable comfort in times of immense grapple with the inconveniences and worries associated with single motherhood.
Among the most notable Biblical stories of single parents who remained faithful in the face of trials are that of the Widow of Zarephath and Hagar, Abraham’s bondwoman.
The story of the Widow of Zarephath is one of faith in the midst of severest trial of her and her child. Despite her knowing that it will be their last, she still gathered sticks to cook for the last remaining meal for her and her son and die. But without her knowledge, God has chosen her to save the prophet Elijah from hunger and thirst. While she was about to fetch water from her vessel for an unknown stranger, she was again told to “Bring me, I pray thee, a morsel of bread in thine hand.” It would be somewhat unbelievable for a single mother---a widow---as to trust an unknown person for her to give their last meal which she honestly described as “an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse: and, behold, I am gathering two sticks, that I may go in and dress it for me and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” But she trusted the promise of Prophet Elijah to “make me thereof a little cake first, and bring it unto me, and after make for thee and for thy son. For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth. And so it was that because of her trust to an unknown prophet, they “did eat many days. And the barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake by Elijah.” (See 1 Kings 17:9-16).
Then while the draught and famine continued in the land, her son became very sick, “that there was no breath left in him.” but she again trusted the prophet and her son was returned by Elijah to her, alive. (See 1 Kings 17-23).
In the face of the sanctifying swelter of trials the Lord provides many rich promises of relief and future blessings that are beyond comprehension. He said, “For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand” (D&C 58:2-4).
These assurances and many others in the scriptures, provide for Kathleen Beth incalculable comfort in times of immense grapple with the inconveniences and worries associated with single motherhood.
Among the most notable Biblical stories of single parents who remained faithful in the face of trials are that of the Widow of Zarephath and Hagar, Abraham’s bondwoman.
The story of the Widow of Zarephath is one of faith in the midst of severest trial of her and her child. Despite her knowing that it will be their last, she still gathered sticks to cook for the last remaining meal for her and her son and die. But without her knowledge, God has chosen her to save the prophet Elijah from hunger and thirst. While she was about to fetch water from her vessel for an unknown stranger, she was again told to “Bring me, I pray thee, a morsel of bread in thine hand.” It would be somewhat unbelievable for a single mother---a widow---as to trust an unknown person for her to give their last meal which she honestly described as “an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse: and, behold, I am gathering two sticks, that I may go in and dress it for me and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” But she trusted the promise of Prophet Elijah to “make me thereof a little cake first, and bring it unto me, and after make for thee and for thy son. For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth. And so it was that because of her trust to an unknown prophet, they “did eat many days. And the barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake by Elijah.” (See 1 Kings 17:9-16).
Then while the draught and famine continued in the land, her son became very sick, “that there was no breath left in him.” but she again trusted the prophet and her son was returned by Elijah to her, alive. (See 1 Kings 17-23).
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| During Jelliene's baptism |
At least in the case of Kathleen, the challenges is not that of having lost everything because of drought and famine, nor was she and her children experiencing having not enough meals to survive and just soon lay down and die. As a matter of fact, when mama visited her, there were enough food in reserve. However, there are times when as a single mother she has to be confronted with challenges that only faith in God and the certainty of His rich promises through His prophets as described in the scriptures, can turn around, as did the widow of Zarephath, who, while in the heart of a devastating thought of dying after the last remaining meal, was blessed with a miraculous turn that “the barrel of meal wasted not; neither did the cruse of oil fail.”
Hagar, on the other hand, was a handmaid of Abraham whom Sarah---who was not able to bear a son for Abraham---gave him Hagar to wife so He will have children. Abraham did have a son born through Hagar and was named Ishmael. “And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.” (Genesis 16:10). However, when Sarah finally got a child in her old age, she instructed Abraham to cast Hagar, her bondwoman, and her son out. Then it was written: “And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beer-sheba.
“And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.
“And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bowshot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.
“And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
“Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.
“And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.”
“And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness…” (Genesis 21:14-20).
Hagar, on the other hand, was a handmaid of Abraham whom Sarah---who was not able to bear a son for Abraham---gave him Hagar to wife so He will have children. Abraham did have a son born through Hagar and was named Ishmael. “And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.” (Genesis 16:10). However, when Sarah finally got a child in her old age, she instructed Abraham to cast Hagar, her bondwoman, and her son out. Then it was written: “And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beer-sheba.
“And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.
“And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bowshot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.
“And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
“Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.
“And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.”
“And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness…” (Genesis 21:14-20).
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| With daughters |
When Kathleen Beth and her children were estranged, she might have felt like being left in the wilderness, as Hagar by her husband Abraham, wondering how to survive with her two children to care and provide, doing and keeping the responsibilities alone in the desert of life. But she did not just sit on the desert sand and wait for the bottle of water and the bread of life to waste and for death to come. While Hagar walked away from her son Ishmael to avoid the pain of seeing him die of hunger, Kathleen Beth did not shy away and wait from a distance of a bowshot, but embraced her children and encompass them with the protection of her deepest love. Then, she listened to the guidance of the Holy Ghost, taught her children to pray, until she was finally called again to a serious responsibility in God’s Kingdom---caring for little children---while continually filling the bottle of water and the bread of life for her own children to grow in the wilderness of towering concrete, glass and steel.
Like Hagar, Kathleen Beth was sent alone in life’s arid desert, but in the midst of it God provided her with enough support to raise and rear her children to become future honorable and responsible adults and to have their own future innumerable righteous posterity.
Being a single parent, Kathleen Beth is not alone in braving the pains and sorrows of this most disconcerting and perplexing route along life’s multiple avenues and thoroughfares. Thousands are marching along this lonely and distressing pathway of life’s enduring journey. But for as long as Kathleen Beth stands faithful and true to her covenants and service in God’s kingdom, the Lord promised with certitude, “…thou shalt devote all thy service in Zion; and in this thou shalt have strength. Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days” (Doctrine and Covenants 24:7–8).
Like Hagar, Kathleen Beth was sent alone in life’s arid desert, but in the midst of it God provided her with enough support to raise and rear her children to become future honorable and responsible adults and to have their own future innumerable righteous posterity.
Being a single parent, Kathleen Beth is not alone in braving the pains and sorrows of this most disconcerting and perplexing route along life’s multiple avenues and thoroughfares. Thousands are marching along this lonely and distressing pathway of life’s enduring journey. But for as long as Kathleen Beth stands faithful and true to her covenants and service in God’s kingdom, the Lord promised with certitude, “…thou shalt devote all thy service in Zion; and in this thou shalt have strength. Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days” (Doctrine and Covenants 24:7–8).
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| With siblings and in-laws |
Reconciliation may no longer be a welcomed option as time moves toward a defeating marital end. But hope still remains to be a point of compromise in behalf of the suffering innocent children. However, it can only happen through actions that require humility, forgiving and forgetting, and lifting the heart back to the once upon a time, where the love story began.
If reconciliation no longer have a place in the hearts, as a father, I have this conviction and assurance for Kathleen Beth that for as long as she will be true to her covenants and continue in service to God’s Kingdom, she will still be privileged to have a divine embrace with our heavenly parents, and be crowned Queen in resplendent beauty and be joined to the King of their family kingdom in the highest Celestial realms. “For thus saith the Lord—I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end.
“Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory” (Section 76:5-6).
Likewise, President Gordon B. Hinckley has this assurance, “To you single mothers…may I say a special word of appreciation for you. Your burdens are heavy. We know this. Your concerns are deep. There is never enough money. There is never enough time. Do the very best you can and plead with the Lord for His help that your children may grow in grace and understanding and achievement and, most importantly, in faith. If you do so, the day will come when you will get on your knees and, with tears in your eyes, thank the Lord for His blessings upon you” (“A Conversation with Single Adults,” Ensign, Mar. 1997, 63).
On this her 31st birthday celebration, July 26, 2019, we thank Heavenly Father for His ever extended hand of support and comfort for Kathleen and her children. It is our wish that she will be able to bear the swelling adversities and trials and the accumulating burdens that is upon her shoulders as being a single parent. May her backbone gains the strength of a steel as to be able to carry the increasing weight of singlehandedly raising and rearing for her two young and growing children in love, patience and perseverance. May Heavenly Father bless her with better opportunities for temporal growth and development for her to be able to provide sufficiently for the needs of her children and for her to be able to serve well in His kingdom. May her faith grow in strength for her to continue to walk the covenant path notwithstanding the struggles akin to the sweltering heat of summer, seemingly required of a single mother. May this day be as joyful as she wanted it to be with her daughters.
If reconciliation no longer have a place in the hearts, as a father, I have this conviction and assurance for Kathleen Beth that for as long as she will be true to her covenants and continue in service to God’s Kingdom, she will still be privileged to have a divine embrace with our heavenly parents, and be crowned Queen in resplendent beauty and be joined to the King of their family kingdom in the highest Celestial realms. “For thus saith the Lord—I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end.
“Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory” (Section 76:5-6).
Likewise, President Gordon B. Hinckley has this assurance, “To you single mothers…may I say a special word of appreciation for you. Your burdens are heavy. We know this. Your concerns are deep. There is never enough money. There is never enough time. Do the very best you can and plead with the Lord for His help that your children may grow in grace and understanding and achievement and, most importantly, in faith. If you do so, the day will come when you will get on your knees and, with tears in your eyes, thank the Lord for His blessings upon you” (“A Conversation with Single Adults,” Ensign, Mar. 1997, 63).
On this her 31st birthday celebration, July 26, 2019, we thank Heavenly Father for His ever extended hand of support and comfort for Kathleen and her children. It is our wish that she will be able to bear the swelling adversities and trials and the accumulating burdens that is upon her shoulders as being a single parent. May her backbone gains the strength of a steel as to be able to carry the increasing weight of singlehandedly raising and rearing for her two young and growing children in love, patience and perseverance. May Heavenly Father bless her with better opportunities for temporal growth and development for her to be able to provide sufficiently for the needs of her children and for her to be able to serve well in His kingdom. May her faith grow in strength for her to continue to walk the covenant path notwithstanding the struggles akin to the sweltering heat of summer, seemingly required of a single mother. May this day be as joyful as she wanted it to be with her daughters.
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