MILESTONE: OUR 45 YEARS OF ENDURING MARITAL FIDELITY AND LOVE

by: Norberto Betita

It all started with a tearful class discussion and argumentation in a college subject, followed by heartfelt and sincere apologies from the offender, eventually turning anger into a tender and kindhearted forgiveness onwards to a flourishing friendship. Then a bud of love blossoms deep in the garden of the heart, yet shadowed and stalked by rejection, skepticism, and prejudice from kith and kin, tolerated by shabby and slovenly outward display of personal or physical characterization.

However, the imperfections and weaknesses that was flaunted and floated aboard an unappealing countenance found an enveloping overlay as the depths of an inner strength and endowment were to the honest seeker unlocked. So that all that was down-at-the-heels were obscured by the image of potentials within the intimate specifics inherent in the man. 

After three years of nurturing such an affectionate friendship and love; provoked by prior intimidating circumstance, and even if under pressure of being financially off guard, we decided to tie the knot together in a very simple wedding ceremony on January 23, 1974, which I am always proud to declared with honesty, only cost for us P50.00 worth of a reception. It was attended only by two witnesses and the solemnizing authority---the Mayor of our town---as guests and my parents and some of my younger brothers. 

Looking back from this marvelous milestone of our 45 years of enduring marital fidelity and love, I am continually awed at such a wonderful journey together notwithstanding all the odds and the great sacrifices we have to continually endure until this mortal expedition eventually ends. I have written much about our spousal journey, and the chronicles of our struggles through thick and thin proved once and for all that marriage can truly and surely flourish even in the midst of the darkest nights of life’s voyage. It can survive despite endlessly demanding economic scarcity and physical limitations; and it can be protected safe and away from the blandishing temptations to go against moral imperatives, especially as regards our sacred wedding vows. It is only a matter of holding on together to our temple covenants while crossing the wild frontiers and the tempestuous oceans of life that the battle against tremendous adversities in marriage and family life is won.

We both cherish those long and resplendent years of living together with unswerving loyalty and commitment to our everlasting covenants of marriage and parental accountability, notwithstanding the advent of moral relativism. We tried to keep and value our integrity and trust as a common responsibility for each other and have it bolted in our mindset and belief, as though there is nothing better. We felt that like many other couples, we don’t have the luxury of time each day, each month, each year, but we strive to seek for some precious moments to nourish our love and affection setting aside differences and other negative influences, and working together for our common good. We kneel together in prayer to God each new day that He has blessed us to live, for guidance and inspiration, and daily express our affectionate devotion with each other in tenderness of feelings. 

We do not claim perfection in our marriage, but we tried passionately and relentlessly to stand by the sealing covenants and promises we entered into in the House of the Lord, to regularly invite the power from heaven consequent of such eternal bonds, as it is predicated by our obedience, to help us continue to walk the covenant path and overcome obstacles along the way. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf once said, “True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long, we can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it and preach sermons that encourage it but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” (You Are My Hands, General Conference, April 2010, lds.org.)

The majesty of it all is aligned with the fact that, came rain or shine all along the stretch of that long marital journey---where restraint is always at work, where love and humility always abound, and where understanding each other’s frailties is a thriving element---we are finally alighted into this profoundly awe-inspiring accomplishment of attaining our grand Sapphire wedding anniversary, a very significant magnification in the lens of our conjugal history. As in precedent celebrations, we may not have the common grandiose preparations, yet we always have the best menu laid on the 45-year almost antiquated matrimonial table---our unbounded love and timeless devotion to each other resembling nothing else.

The wonderful bouquet of a thousand roses fades in a day or two. The precious Sapphire which symbolizes our 45 years of marriage will be replaced in a year. A grandiose Wedding Anniversary treat will only last a mealtime. The only enduring best gift that I could give to my ever dearest Letty---the best thing that ever happened to me; the beauty and loveliness that add wonders down the rolling hills of my lonely trail; the woman who provides cheers upon my weary soul; the light that gleams in my darkest hours; the healer of my lingering pains; the indomitable support in my heap of troubles; and the cross bearer that helped me carry the weight of my daily yoke---is not new but is ever fresh. It is my most sincere expressions of love that has since been each and every day and has never changed and never will. Thus, from the deepest chamber of my heart and through the doorway of my bosom deep where my everburning feelings lay, I say to my ever dearest Letty, I LOVE YOU, TILL ETERNITY RUNS OUT OF TIME. These are no exaggeration, but a literary figurative conversion of my deepest feelings and candid manifestations of love and gratitude which are beyond words to verbally convey, therefore, translated into words of poetic lines. 

The lengthy years of our married life, may not have been ornamented with worldly mammon, yet we had been blessed each day with provisions adequate for our needs. We felt “content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto [us].” (Alma 9:3.) We are grateful to have known and understood early in our membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that the powers in heaven are not about anything and everything in this world, but are divinely enshrined in family life. Such that in all the preparations of the Lord’s Second Coming, He is pushing all efforts to strengthen the families and help them build walls of protection against the assaults of the adversary through the gospel and revealed truths.

Elder James E. Talmage once wrote, “When the frailties and imperfection of mortality are left behind, in the glorified state of the blessed hereafter, husband and wife will administer in their respective stations, seeing and understanding alike, and cooperating to the full in the government of their family kingdom…Then shall woman reign by Divine right, a queen in the resplendent realm of her glorified state, even as exalted man shall stand, priest and king unto the Most High God.” (James E. Talmage, “The Eternity of Sex,” Young Woman’s Journal, October 1914, p. 600-603, quoted by Jeffrey R. Holland, To My Friends, p. 238.) 

The beauty of timeless origin

When we were friends

When we were newly married attending her sister's graduation

Our sealing at the Manila Philippines Temple-1986

About 1990

Late 1990's

Early 2000

Our longevity is now past the threshold where many among our associates and contemporaries had already crossed the portals into the realms of immortality. We have already enjoyed with contentment the blessings we have deeply desired. Although we wanted to persist in moving forward with faith we are uncertain as to how long we will be made to wait for that blessed day of slipping into the other side of the veil. We are not sure of the Lord’s timing, and although we seemed to be moving on to our destined route, yet we are not certain which exit we should follow. But definitely, we do not want to be stranded in this troubled world. 

Therefore, as I wanted to leave an enduring legacy for my children and posterity, I would rather have the chronicles of our enduring story---of marital and family love, unity, harmony and peace; together with those unending battles of overcoming challenges and adversities of such a long and winding journey---concluded and printed while I am still in my mortal capacity. At least by so doing, I still can bear them witness of the verities of what I did say and write.

(Our children)

Our heartfelt yearnings go to our children and grandchildren and the rest of our coming posterity, with sincere hope that they may likewise cherish the joy and gladness of marriage and family life and strengthen the bonds of love and affection, with common vision to the inexplicable eternal glory. We wish that they will continue to build foundations for multi-generational families in the Church, actively participating in its affairs and perhaps also looking forward to attaining their own milestone of enduring marital fidelity and love. It is our wish and hope that no matter the circumstances, no matter all the challenges and struggles all along the difficult routes on the race through life, no matter their failings, they will continually take the unending chances which the Lord offers, through repentance, for them to change course towards the better light that leads to the highest degree in the celestial realms of Heavenly Father’s kingdom.

The whole family

Our bathe in backbreaking strains of those all-encompassing and far-reaching experiences are now past as we conclude our 45 years of connubial marathon. However, still we are in faint as we now embark into another few remaining rounds to the golden finish of our common race. The final grueling tests of life, thus far, might remain to be an enduring challenge as we now walk into the edge of heaven in faltering feet; yet we are unruffled. 

As the tick of the last hour at midnight terminates and the cockcrows in the neighborhood signals the emerging dawn of this most memorable breakthrough in our conjugal partnership of life’s melees, we held hands together in praises to Him who dwells on high; He who gives us the privilege to share His creative powers by giving us the opportunity to bring some of His spirit children into our lives and the opportunity to love, nurture and care for them back into His glorious celestial presence. 

We, therefore, pray in earnestness, and in sincere expressions of gratitude and love for the sustaining power and spiritual strength He has so abundantly blessed us during those formidable days and years of our battles with adversities. We glorify and honor His name and the majesty of His love and kindness and mercy for us, our children and our grandchildren, forever.