ANGELS USHERED HIM INTO THE GRAND REUNION

By: Norberto Betita 

Bonifacio Miole Subang

Today the veil to the other side of eternity parts as the spirit of one pure in heart, while sleeping beneath the consuming pains of a lingering illness, was quietly ushered by angels into the open doors of death to a grand reunion with his loved ones and friends in the world of waiting spirits, while his physical body was left cold and dead at his home.

Brother BONIFACIO MIOLE SUBANG died at about 8:00AM, January 31, 2019, peacefully at a ripened age of 82. He is now rested from all the intensifying stings and anguish of mortality and is now "received into a state of happiness...a state of rest, a state of peace, where [he] shall rest from all [his] troubles and from all care, and sorrow." (Alma 40:12.) He is survived by his beloved wife Isabelita and sons Renato and Reynado and grandchildren.

We will be missing him. He's been an example of righteousness and virtue. A faithful husband and father. A good neighbor. A diligent Priesthood leader, serving as branch president twice and in several other different voluntary callings from God. Tears streamed as I reminisced in quiet reverie the goodness of the man whose enduring faith had invariably shunned the loss rocks of life which the adversary dumped along his way while he tried to climb the mountains to find the solid stones of spiritual safety---the truths and the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.

He lived a pattern of life that eschew the common rubbish that the world enjoys. He tried not to listen to the soft, enticing, and pleasant voice of the adversary that tempt him to pollute his mind with lies. Notwithstanding the sinful nature of man, he tried to spurn evil, anger, hatred, bitterness and offensive behavior that demeans the spirit in him, yet he was not perfect.

While submerged in a suffocating and diminishing physical condition, down the abyss of an excruciating battle with a haunting serious infirmity, he submitted everything to the care of the Lord Jesus Christ and leave all his sufferings to Him. He tried to cover up all his discomforts with the tender smile from his humors and even ostensibly acted as though he was not in a critical health condition. He trusted the Lord Jesus Christ to attend to him and just leave his anguish and final destiny to His will. The soreness may have lingered, but the fear of slipping into the other side of the veil was no longer in his stressed soul.

I was spiritually impressed by the way the Lord has called him to the other side of the veil. While his unchained soul was soundly asleep, his spirit, in purity, willingly and silently abided the last summon that the angels served for him to finally part the veil. Such was a wonderful and glorious transition from mortality to the spirit world and into the marvels of immortality. 

 

With wife - Isabelita Subang

             
Surely it will be very painful to his dearly beloved wife---Sister Isabelita Subang. They had been very close to each other while walking the plains of mortality. Their love for each other was sealed in the House of the Lord for time and all eternity. They had been such an exemplary couple. Even in their difficult circumstances they had been so generous of their little resources to others. They both served in the church together. The emptiness of having lost a dearly beloved and lifelong partner by her side is such a depressing ran off. But life has to move on and Sister Subang will yet have to wait for the time when the Lord will call her to follow her beloved partner into eternity. President Russel M. Nelson said: “We can’t fully appreciated joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.”

His paragon of fatherhood and paternal examples of the virtues of patience and perseverance; of long suffering; of gentleness and meekness; and of love unfeigned, will assuredly remain a beacon for his sons to emulate and remember as they move farther into the private realization and recognition of their failings, and the reconciliation of their individual life back into the covenant path.

President Dallin H. Oaks said: “Death is not the conclusion of our identity but merely a necessary step in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan for the salvation of His children.” Therefore, brother Subang will be remembered as he is and all the realities of his life in mortality will remain to be a living memory for those who loved him. At this time, all that he wanted would be for us to accept his present reality. 

In his long wrestle with his lingering affliction, brother Subang was in fact taking the stretch of the shadow of death, best prepared to stand before the judgment bar of the righteous judge of all, even the Lord Jesus Christ. President Russel M. Nelson said: "Death is only premature for those not prepared to meet God." 

Even in his weaknesses and imperfections, he lived his life ready in ways that is most acceptable as to warrant the promises which the Lord himself has declared: “For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.

“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.

“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory…” (D & C 58:2-4.)

Indeed, as President Thomas S. Monson had said: "Death is not the end. It is putting out the candle because the dawn has come." Perhaps, before brother Subang finally held the guiding hands of angels and put out the candle to be welcomed to the new dawn of his eternal journey, he must have tried first to take a final look and left his bidding of inaudible sad goodbyes to his dearly beloved Isabelita and his sons---Renato and Reynaldo---and his dear daughter-in-law---Emily---and beloved grandchildren, in grateful acknowledgement of the joy and gladness they have provided and shared together in family life while yet in mortality.

His physical body will soon be delivered back to the dust from where it came, while angels ushered him into the grand reunion in the spirit world, a state between death and resurrection. There he will continue his eternal journey and progressive work of perfection to attain the final point of his eternal destination into the indescribably magnificent and glorious realms of the celestial kingdom of God.

A message of sympathy for the bereaved family from a friend across continents and oceans was sent, "A loving bond lives on forever, in memories of all that was shared together. May the beautiful and loving memories of all precious moments that were shared, and the happy times that were known, bring comfort to you and help ease your sorrow at this difficult time.”

We express our deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences to the bereaved family of our dear BONIFACIO MIOLE SUBANG. May we all be comforted by the thought as has been expressed by President Gordon B. Hinckley that, “The pain of death is swallowed up in the peace of eternal life.”

BEYOND THE PAINS OF POVERTY

by: Norberto Betita

Virginia Gasta Betita-Bañacia

We were born and raised in a small fishing and farming town where opportunities for economic advancement was almost nil. Personal growth and development were somewhat beyond attainment. Poverty was such a common lot among many and most in the community were living from hand to mouth; somehow stranded in the marsh of destitution. Only a handful of landed families were living in quite affluence. Most couples during those early days married young and therefore are most likely to have more children. So were our parents. My mother married when she was 14 years old, and thus begat 14 children in 13 conceptions, with one still-born.

Such a sad reality even magnified the level of our family struggles and difficulties. We were like lonely travelers wedged in a shipwreck. However, with the undeterred optimism and determination of our parents, we harbor hope as a motivating force to abandon ship and disembark from the wreckage and find our way ashore. Our parents provided education as a bridge to get us out of the mess of life. Notwithstanding such a difficult and expensive approach to rise beyond the pains of poverty, they always encouraged us to hold on to education as the only sure channel to the blissful shore. 

Boy and Gin

My sister Virginia “Gin” Gasta Betita was seventh in succession of us siblings but she was the second to have endured the rigors of intensifying struggles in the midst of the family’s tremendous financial scarcity. The rest of our elder brothers and sisters, stepped aside from the difficult route of their educational pursuits either out of pity for our parents or having lost hope to attain their goals, and thus took short cut careers. 

Gin eventually graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Secondary Education, major in English from the Northeastern Mindanao Colleges (NEMCO). Her passing the teacher’s board examinations eventually provided her with a secure career. For a moment she helped in the family finances. However, she was soon attracted to the youngest son---Jose “Boy” Bañacia, Jr.---of our parent’s longtime family friend. Not long after, they sealed their courtship on the sacred altar of matrimony, thus the name Bañacia was added to her maiden name. 

The whole family

In time, with a secure career at the Surigao del Norte National High School, they were able to start their married life in modest living. They rented and for a time lived in a low cost apartment near the school where she worked. Then their eldest child was born, a daughter; and in just a year there came a son; and again in another one sweeping year they got another daughter. That had been a three grueling years of their married life with three little babies to care for---ages three, two and one. Of course, Gin and Boy were young then and perhaps have genetically inherited the productive DNA’s of their parents, both of which were blessed with abundant posterity.

They should have learned a lesson the hard way for caring three little babies while both working and thus applied some restraint and discipline. However, the protein synthesis responsible for the transmission of hereditary characteristics from their parents, must have been so strong as to slap away self-control and mental restrictions. Therefore, in a lapse of only two years their fourth child---a daughter---was born. They probably thought that such must have been the last, that they were able to manage to hold back and redirect their attention to caring for their now four little children, not only because it is draining the family finances, but it is such a great sacrifice and energy exhausting for Gin, a working mother, to nourish and nurture. But the self-replicating nature of their productive DNA, remained to be of great influence and command that after four years of restraint, they realized that they already have five children of their own to raise and rear and educate. They soon recognized that with their income at the same level, they will inevitably be pushed hard against the wall of poverty. They therefore reached a consensus to finally end childbearing. 

Boy and Gin with children

While the children were still in elementary and high school, they were able to manage to support their financial needs with the coconut farm income of her husband and other agricultural earnings he brought into the family coffers. Her husband also earned additional income as tricycle driver. Soon they were able to secure a right of a property in the squatter’s area, accessible to the children’s schools and her workplace. There they built a larger nipa house for their growing family to be accommodated. However, inflation finally took its tool and thus made it hard for them to make both ends meet.

Nevertheless, the incumbent threat for greater economic strains never deter her from sending her children through college. When her eldest daughter---Mirinisa---graduated from high school, she sent her to an expensive Catholic school in the locality---San Nicolas College. It was not long before she realized that her son---Dennis---was also going to college at the Central Mindanao University (CMU). In a year the third child---Charissa was also at CMU. And before her eldest, Mirinisa was able to finish her degree in education, there were already four of them in college, with the fourth child---Florisa also schooled at CMU. While as college scholars, tuition and fees were affordable for her three children in a government university, yet living allowances for the three away from home was kind of insurmountable. In her mind must have been the inspiring words of Gilda Radner: “[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” 

With living siblings

With the family being trapped under the pains of hard times, some might have thought it as an stubbornly unreasonable attempt or perversity of purpose, to send all four children through college in succession of time. Perhaps reason and logic would suggest that they first should have to let one or two to postpone college until others are graduated. But for Gin and Boy it was a remarkably courageous and faith-filled bid and communal family undertaking to cut across and circumvent all poverty related walls and stumbling blocks toward success, not for them, but for their children, no matter the cost. Gin knew, as it was her experience that education is the only link that can bridge the gap between poverty and attainment. She knew by her own strenuous and fearless battle against mounting adversities while trying herself to cross the chasm of penury that beyond the pains of poverty and yonder the deepest depths of struggle, there is set a marker atop the hill and in the far open plateau, a flag of victory for each enduring traveler. Hence, she and Boy were willing to invest all available resources for such a positively beneficial and worthwhile initiative.

Gin was fortunate to have such intellectually gifted and good natured children as to understand their parent’s predicaments. They burned their midnight candles to make sure their parents will not be frustrated. They hang on to their individual goals in times when exams became difficult and school requirements are hard to accomplish. They tighten their belts when pressures of budgetary constraints stepped up. Accordingly, the eldest---Mirinisa---graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Education and became a professional teacher. The second son---Dennis---graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Forestry and passed the board examinations. The third---Charissa also graduated with a degree in Environmental Science and passed the professional Civil Service examinations. The fourth, however, after three years in college, slipped away from the path and decided to take marriage as a priority. 

Enjoying together at retirement

The fifth and youngest---Neresa---also graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Information Technology, Cum Laude. That should have been their last. But while her children were yet in college, she decided to foster a first degree grandson---Gil Franz---whom they treated as their own, while yet a little boy, and also sent him through college and eventually completed a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration degree, major in Financial Management, then while working took a teacher's certificate course and eventually passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers.

During those periods of incomprehensible difficulties to meet the increasing demands of their college students, personal high cost debts mounted; inherited coconut farm and rice land were sold; their cows were likewise marketed. All those were invested and are now made part of the bridge which their children and foster son now gloriously utilized to traverse on to their journey to a far better and more prospective future. The old nipa house which has since became a banner of hope for the family to rise above the pains of poverty, is all that was left for Gin and Boy, after their dream for a possible modest house erected on an inherited lot, to be financed by a Pag-ibig Fund loan was eventually erased from the plans in favor of their children’s future well-being.

Yet, during all those tough times in her life, Gin had always been a noble teacher to her students, a faithful and loyal wife, a darling daughter to our parents, a loving sister. As an angel mother, her children might have thought as did Maya Angelou who wrote, “To describe [our] mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” (Maya Angelou.) Such is one fitting description of a mother who is able to nurture and raise her children in strict discipline and kindly love as to build for them strong characters which are now humbly exhibited by the respect and love they have for their parents, and the unity, harmony and peace that they shared together in the family circle. Indeed, after the hurricane’s ferocity, a rainbow of beautiful colors is formed in the grandiose sky, between the showers of raindrops and creeping sunshine. 

Enjoying as a united family together

Now gone are the daily thoughts of uncertainties and anxieties of meeting the demands of motherhood and parental responsibilities. While one may have temporarily slipped from the bridge she provided, yet she is happy that her daughter had decided to choose a more imperative duty of a woman. Nonetheless, she is hopeful that in due time, her fourth child---Florisa---will walk back into the bridge and reinvent her educational goals while the children are still young.

At 71, having been born on January 28, 1948, Gin is now relishing the joy and contentment of her life’s humble accomplishments for her children. In quiet reverie, she savors looking at the brilliant light that the future holds for them while enjoying in satisfaction and serenity the fond memories of their past overwhelming struggles. Gone are her dreams of a comfortable life for herself, but delights looking far into the open horizon and reminiscing God’s infinite blessings of faith and hope; and strength and courage to withstand the grueling tests of family life. Gin and Boy now live content with her modest monthly pension delightfully welcoming visits and tender embraces of love from their ten grandchildren in the same old nipa house, with nipa roofing now replaced with galvanized corrugated sheets with the same structure, which for so long had stood against the wiles of adversity and remains strong a beacon of dignity, integrity and hope beyond the pains of poverty. 

To my dear elder sister Gin, happy, happy, happy 71st birthday! May the glorious light of day adds grandeur to the wonderful memories of the past and sends its rays to a vision of a verdant landscape at the end of the tunnel for you and your family.

MILESTONE: OUR 45 YEARS OF ENDURING MARITAL FIDELITY AND LOVE

by: Norberto Betita

It all started with a tearful class discussion and argumentation in a college subject, followed by heartfelt and sincere apologies from the offender, eventually turning anger into a tender and kindhearted forgiveness onwards to a flourishing friendship. Then a bud of love blossoms deep in the garden of the heart, yet shadowed and stalked by rejection, skepticism, and prejudice from kith and kin, tolerated by shabby and slovenly outward display of personal or physical characterization.

However, the imperfections and weaknesses that was flaunted and floated aboard an unappealing countenance found an enveloping overlay as the depths of an inner strength and endowment were to the honest seeker unlocked. So that all that was down-at-the-heels were obscured by the image of potentials within the intimate specifics inherent in the man. 

After three years of nurturing such an affectionate friendship and love; provoked by prior intimidating circumstance, and even if under pressure of being financially off guard, we decided to tie the knot together in a very simple wedding ceremony on January 23, 1974, which I am always proud to declared with honesty, only cost for us P50.00 worth of a reception. It was attended only by two witnesses and the solemnizing authority---the Mayor of our town---as guests and my parents and some of my younger brothers. 

Looking back from this marvelous milestone of our 45 years of enduring marital fidelity and love, I am continually awed at such a wonderful journey together notwithstanding all the odds and the great sacrifices we have to continually endure until this mortal expedition eventually ends. I have written much about our spousal journey, and the chronicles of our struggles through thick and thin proved once and for all that marriage can truly and surely flourish even in the midst of the darkest nights of life’s voyage. It can survive despite endlessly demanding economic scarcity and physical limitations; and it can be protected safe and away from the blandishing temptations to go against moral imperatives, especially as regards our sacred wedding vows. It is only a matter of holding on together to our temple covenants while crossing the wild frontiers and the tempestuous oceans of life that the battle against tremendous adversities in marriage and family life is won.

We both cherish those long and resplendent years of living together with unswerving loyalty and commitment to our everlasting covenants of marriage and parental accountability, notwithstanding the advent of moral relativism. We tried to keep and value our integrity and trust as a common responsibility for each other and have it bolted in our mindset and belief, as though there is nothing better. We felt that like many other couples, we don’t have the luxury of time each day, each month, each year, but we strive to seek for some precious moments to nourish our love and affection setting aside differences and other negative influences, and working together for our common good. We kneel together in prayer to God each new day that He has blessed us to live, for guidance and inspiration, and daily express our affectionate devotion with each other in tenderness of feelings. 

We do not claim perfection in our marriage, but we tried passionately and relentlessly to stand by the sealing covenants and promises we entered into in the House of the Lord, to regularly invite the power from heaven consequent of such eternal bonds, as it is predicated by our obedience, to help us continue to walk the covenant path and overcome obstacles along the way. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf once said, “True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long, we can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it and preach sermons that encourage it but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” (You Are My Hands, General Conference, April 2010, lds.org.)

The majesty of it all is aligned with the fact that, came rain or shine all along the stretch of that long marital journey---where restraint is always at work, where love and humility always abound, and where understanding each other’s frailties is a thriving element---we are finally alighted into this profoundly awe-inspiring accomplishment of attaining our grand Sapphire wedding anniversary, a very significant magnification in the lens of our conjugal history. As in precedent celebrations, we may not have the common grandiose preparations, yet we always have the best menu laid on the 45-year almost antiquated matrimonial table---our unbounded love and timeless devotion to each other resembling nothing else.

The wonderful bouquet of a thousand roses fades in a day or two. The precious Sapphire which symbolizes our 45 years of marriage will be replaced in a year. A grandiose Wedding Anniversary treat will only last a mealtime. The only enduring best gift that I could give to my ever dearest Letty---the best thing that ever happened to me; the beauty and loveliness that add wonders down the rolling hills of my lonely trail; the woman who provides cheers upon my weary soul; the light that gleams in my darkest hours; the healer of my lingering pains; the indomitable support in my heap of troubles; and the cross bearer that helped me carry the weight of my daily yoke---is not new but is ever fresh. It is my most sincere expressions of love that has since been each and every day and has never changed and never will. Thus, from the deepest chamber of my heart and through the doorway of my bosom deep where my everburning feelings lay, I say to my ever dearest Letty, I LOVE YOU, TILL ETERNITY RUNS OUT OF TIME. These are no exaggeration, but a literary figurative conversion of my deepest feelings and candid manifestations of love and gratitude which are beyond words to verbally convey, therefore, translated into words of poetic lines. 

The lengthy years of our married life, may not have been ornamented with worldly mammon, yet we had been blessed each day with provisions adequate for our needs. We felt “content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto [us].” (Alma 9:3.) We are grateful to have known and understood early in our membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that the powers in heaven are not about anything and everything in this world, but are divinely enshrined in family life. Such that in all the preparations of the Lord’s Second Coming, He is pushing all efforts to strengthen the families and help them build walls of protection against the assaults of the adversary through the gospel and revealed truths.

Elder James E. Talmage once wrote, “When the frailties and imperfection of mortality are left behind, in the glorified state of the blessed hereafter, husband and wife will administer in their respective stations, seeing and understanding alike, and cooperating to the full in the government of their family kingdom…Then shall woman reign by Divine right, a queen in the resplendent realm of her glorified state, even as exalted man shall stand, priest and king unto the Most High God.” (James E. Talmage, “The Eternity of Sex,” Young Woman’s Journal, October 1914, p. 600-603, quoted by Jeffrey R. Holland, To My Friends, p. 238.) 

The beauty of timeless origin

When we were friends

When we were newly married attending her sister's graduation

Our sealing at the Manila Philippines Temple-1986

About 1990

Late 1990's

Early 2000

Our longevity is now past the threshold where many among our associates and contemporaries had already crossed the portals into the realms of immortality. We have already enjoyed with contentment the blessings we have deeply desired. Although we wanted to persist in moving forward with faith we are uncertain as to how long we will be made to wait for that blessed day of slipping into the other side of the veil. We are not sure of the Lord’s timing, and although we seemed to be moving on to our destined route, yet we are not certain which exit we should follow. But definitely, we do not want to be stranded in this troubled world. 

Therefore, as I wanted to leave an enduring legacy for my children and posterity, I would rather have the chronicles of our enduring story---of marital and family love, unity, harmony and peace; together with those unending battles of overcoming challenges and adversities of such a long and winding journey---concluded and printed while I am still in my mortal capacity. At least by so doing, I still can bear them witness of the verities of what I did say and write.

(Our children)

Our heartfelt yearnings go to our children and grandchildren and the rest of our coming posterity, with sincere hope that they may likewise cherish the joy and gladness of marriage and family life and strengthen the bonds of love and affection, with common vision to the inexplicable eternal glory. We wish that they will continue to build foundations for multi-generational families in the Church, actively participating in its affairs and perhaps also looking forward to attaining their own milestone of enduring marital fidelity and love. It is our wish and hope that no matter the circumstances, no matter all the challenges and struggles all along the difficult routes on the race through life, no matter their failings, they will continually take the unending chances which the Lord offers, through repentance, for them to change course towards the better light that leads to the highest degree in the celestial realms of Heavenly Father’s kingdom.

The whole family

Our bathe in backbreaking strains of those all-encompassing and far-reaching experiences are now past as we conclude our 45 years of connubial marathon. However, still we are in faint as we now embark into another few remaining rounds to the golden finish of our common race. The final grueling tests of life, thus far, might remain to be an enduring challenge as we now walk into the edge of heaven in faltering feet; yet we are unruffled. 

As the tick of the last hour at midnight terminates and the cockcrows in the neighborhood signals the emerging dawn of this most memorable breakthrough in our conjugal partnership of life’s melees, we held hands together in praises to Him who dwells on high; He who gives us the privilege to share His creative powers by giving us the opportunity to bring some of His spirit children into our lives and the opportunity to love, nurture and care for them back into His glorious celestial presence. 

We, therefore, pray in earnestness, and in sincere expressions of gratitude and love for the sustaining power and spiritual strength He has so abundantly blessed us during those formidable days and years of our battles with adversities. We glorify and honor His name and the majesty of His love and kindness and mercy for us, our children and our grandchildren, forever.