By: Norberto
Betita
 |
| The couple: Richard Albert Douglas-Denton and Shauna Megan Betita-Denton |
While the
whole family were on the way to join in the birthday and the wedding day
celebrations of our last born Shauna Megan, enjoying the pristine beauty of the
scenery all along the stretched route and beholding the delightful panorama of
the surrounding verdant hills and the far vista of the metropolis from the pool
at the venue, my thoughts lugged me a year far back into a quiet introspection
of the same day---November 23, 2017---when I wrote a blog of her entitled “A time to be
single,” a phrase adapted from a Bible verse, “To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:3.) In that I
wrote that such a time was yet a point in her life to be alone, “until the man
of her choice and of whom she can trust appears in God’s appointed time.”
Never an
instant did I ever thought that from that time on, or in such so short a time as
a year, she would be able to persuade Heavenly Father in prayer to rush the
timetable as to fill the calendar of her birthday---November 23, 2018---with a
more significant schedule of an event which she had long since hoped for, when
the shadows of her youthful past will eventually be overtaken by an impressive
sunshine of a new day in her life---her marriage to the man of her dreams. Finally,
the majestic excitement of looking far into the immaculate splendor and fancy
reverie of creating a wonderful family, which once was only an upshot of hope,
will now become a reality as the birthday celebration turns into another most
memorable chapter of her life and that of her husband---the wedding day.
This day is
the time I have been longing for to finally happen for me to be able to wrap up
a chapter in my personal history while I still live. Therefore I was inspired
to write not about Shauna, but for her husband---RICHARD ALBERT DOUGLAS
DENTON---my son-in-law.
I did not
know how they ever met, the only one thing that I understood was that they
were both very exultant about stumbling upon each other in an unusual venue, as
though they have seen each other’s big picture long before. When both their
dreams closed and the welcoming door of physical presence was unlocked before
their very eyes, they seemed to see each other as the flawless interpretation of
the long held common vision of a man and a woman in love, as to excitedly and
unhesitatingly decide to be engaged and have their marriage scheduled in a
matter of five months---from June 23 to November 23, 2018. I don’t believe in
soul mates, but I have faith that such an atypical determination to ply upon a
very crucial life changing decision is inspired. Never did I know of any couple
who made such a hasty decision about marrying after a very short time of acquaintance
and engagement.
While they
may not have so much time to familiarize with each other, it is incumbent upon
them to continue to understand each other’s strength and weakness; character
and virtues; and moral values, while already in marriage. What’s important is
that they are sure they love each other and are willing to bind such love by a
covenant in the sacred altar of matrimony. Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Love is
the only force that can erase the differences between people; that can bridge
chasms of bitterness.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, And the Greatest of this is Love,
lds.org.)
My heartfelt
gratitude is deeply influenced by Richard’s unwavering commitment to marry
Shauna Megan so soon. It seldom happens to a man, perhaps not in a thousand. Psychologists
may even label such a quick and impulsive marital decision as a reckless
approach to marriage in accordance with scientific studies. Yet I beg to
disagree because I look at marriage as a covenant, a solemn promise between two
different individuals, and not an experiment. It is a commitment and a sacred
pledge to have and to hold; for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer;
in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish. The strength of such a
binding contract is totally dependent on the earnestness and intensity of each
couple’s feelings toward each other. So that no matter how long individuals
should have to be engaged before marriage is not so much a matter of concern. I
trust though that Shauna, who has earned a degree in Psychology with flying
colors, and Richard, who is a well-educated and best informed University
instructor, understood this best.
There are so
many ways to consider in deciding to marry. While those considerations are
important, yet the final test of marital stability and endurance are rooted in
the couple’s ability to adjust and understand each other’s faults and personal
weaknesses. Some of these earlier undiscovered relationship factors and
individual differences may even emerge late during the marriage and sometimes
create detours on the road to marital continuity. However, if a couple is
looking forward with enthusiasm to a happy and enjoyable future, such shared vision
can transform marital commitments and can create an atmosphere of commonality
towards establishing an enduring relationship. I imagine that such points and
issues may have been in the mind of Richard and Shauna as they opt to bind
their love and commitment to each other. After all, as in the words of Robert
D. Hales, “None of us marry perfection; we marry potential.” (Meeting the
Challenges of Today’s World, lds.org.)
My one day
of acquaintance with Richard, may not be sufficiently enough to know the depths
of his personality and character, yet I trust in his humility, honesty and
integrity. Instead of a comfortable accommodation in a hotel room, he agreed and
decided to sleep in our home, in a room, he perhaps have never once experienced
to slumber in his lifetime. This early display of noble attributes, plus the
fact that Shauna described him as a very loving and kind man she ever knew, to
me has become a precise overlay of the unknown side of Richard. His honest and
candid observation about our family adds a boon to our first impression of him.
He said, "I think your family is lovely and I'm grateful that they
shuffled things around for me." However, Richard has yet to familiarize
more about our family life. There is nothing of us to boast, but the love and
support that we shared with each other.
 |
| With Richard's family |
We met
Richard’s family for the first time right on the wedding day in an arranged
luncheon. It was simply a getting acquainted roundtable for the two families
while waiting for the final event---the wedding reception. However, such a very
short acquaintanceship leaves for me an imprint of a most profound respect and remarkably
cherished first impression for the family. There was Richards’ octogenarian grandpa
Alan; Daddy Timothy and Mommy Tracey; Uncle Simon and Aunt Catherine; Brother
Julian and partner Cassie; and sister Lucy, who made it to the grand event, not
counting the cost, in one united expression of support for Richard and Soi in that
fresh episode of their lives together. In them I witnessed and felt an
exemplary attitude of extending friendship and love beyond boundaries. I was awesomely
touched as one of them pinned me a very modest token as an honest gesture of
appreciation and respect. It was not the gift that was of value, but the
eternal words that has been spoken as he said, “This is an emblem of friendship
and love between two nations, two people, and two families.” The memento was a small
lapel pin with symbols of the Australian and Philippine flags joined together. I
trust that Richard and Shauna will have such cherished family relationships carried
on into their family and even to the coming generations.
On matters
of temporal affairs and condition, our family is far at variance with
Richard’s. They were born and raised in a highly developed country of Australia
which has always been listed as one of the best livable countries of the world and
we are living in a third world. They lived in a land of better and greater
opportunities, while we are sustained by our resiliency in a land where the
doors of opportunities are closed and bolted. Yet, we are all prepared to face
our unending battles with life’s adversities, hopeful that our land will eventually
be blessed as to provide more doors of opportunities forward to an abundant
life for the Filipino people.
Nevertheless,
I wanted Richard to know that we have long since realized that happiness in
family life is not so much about the guts of luxury and career preoccupation as
it is a real and honest concern for the physical security and spiritual
well-being of children and family. Today, children are faced with overwhelming
challenges. The ever changing and decaying moral values which are spread into
the internet are almost irrepressible as to even penetrate in the sheltered and
secured confines of home. Thus, they need a moral compass, a righteous exemplar
and a guiding hand. Of this moral specter which threatens our children’s
future, A. Theodore Tuttle raised this warning: “Parental responsibility cannot
go unheeded, nor can it be shifted to day-care centers, nor to the schoolroom,
nor even to the Church. Family responsibility comes by divine decree. Parents
may violate this decree only at the peril of their eternal salvation.” (Altar,
Tent, Well - ensign - LDS.org.)
As Richard
is now the patriarch of his own family, he deserves my highest respect and
honor in his divine role as the presiding authority in the home. I dissociate
myself from any participation on how he and Shauna will guide and raise their
children and how they would influence their children’s lives. And, I dare not
intervene on how he will deal with the cultural and religious differences that
is already most familiar to him from the beginning. However, if I may be given
one final and dying wish, for I know I only have a short time remaining in this
life, I would like to most humbly request my dearly beloved son-in-law Richard
to allow Shauna to have the privilege to exercise her religiosity and worship
God according to the dictates of her own conscience and faith and sacred
covenants. She was born in the covenant and was sealed to our family for
eternity. I can only hope that someday, Richard will be able to grasp the
eternal truths of life so that our connections and family link will continue to
be bound by an eternal love on to our celestial destinations.
As I turn my
heart to my beloved son-in-law Richard, I again express my love and gratitude,
in behalf of our family, for his trust and great love for Shauna. I wish to
reiterate that no greater role is played in the world stage than that of being
loyal marital partners and dependable parental guides; and no better players
are called upon and appointed than those who are responsibly prepared and
wholeheartedly committed to challenge the overwhelming accountability and
serious obligations around the circle of home and family life.
I would like
to restate my best wishes on the wedding day that Richard and Shauna will be
guided through in their yet long journey through life; that they will have the
sustaining power and courage to battle with the inundating challenges along
every lap of their life’s race; that they will widen their common prospective
vision and creatively paint the wonderful tapestry of their on-going family
life forward to a flourishing and glorious future; that they will eventually
grasp God’s great eternal plan of happiness and soon realize that families are
indeed meant forever. I pray that Richard and Shauna will wake up each morning
to see the beautiful flowers of love abundantly sprinkled in the marvelous
landscape of their marriage and family life and gather them together for a
delightful bouquet for each other and their future children to cherish and
treasure.
To Richard I
say, I may not live long enough to see the beautiful rainbow that will
eventually decorate the horizon and skyline all along your marital journey on
to the fulfillment of my earnest prayers for you and Shauna and your family. Yet
I am comfortable and confident that as you and Shauna will have your vision
concentrated on your collective mutual goals, and progressively walk the miles beyond
the rugged terrains of life’s race, you will in due time discover the golden
gate to the wondrous corridor of success and victory.
