RELIVING THE FAMILY LEGACY

Janedina Gasta Betita-Depano Story

By Norberto Betita

Janedina Gasta Betita-Depano

When we were young we were always reminded by our parents to study and attain the highest education that we possibly can. Our maternal grandparents had also the same motivation for us. Education, they would say, is the only legacy that they can leave which could not be taken from us. There were thirteen of us children. Their daily living and means of livelihood are really not enough to support us in our quest for education and learning. Although most of us desired to attain at least college education others are reluctant because of our family’s economic condition.

It is of Filipino tradition that parents are to shoulder the education of their children through college and even post graduate if needs be. Therefore, with poverty always in front of our economic battle, the motivations and dreams of our parents for us to obtain the highest education possible are seemingly just a simple exercise of hope and faith and parental expectations for their children to rise above the level of penury where they had been constantly immersed.

However, with gut-wrenching determination and hard work dredged from their deepest desires for us children to be able to cross the chasm of our despondency, they pushed hard for our education to the best that they could most hardly afford to support. With such unbending parental support all of us went through and made it to high school education which during our time was already good enough. Some of us went through college still principally dependent from the support of our parents with assistance from our already employed siblings. College then was a very difficult pursuit with inadequate family finances. So that when opportunity for employment comes, we take no second thoughts and resign our educational dreams into the path of uncertainty.

The family now

Such was the case of my elder sister Janedina Gasta Betita. She was an intelligent student. While I was in high school and she was in college, I envied her grades. She studied hard knowing that the money invested in our education by our parents were hard-earned. But because of hard times, after her second year in college with a course leading to a degree in commerce, she decided instead to take the opportunity to work in the newly established Surigao Nickel Refinery, leaving behind her dreams for a college degree to the uncertain future.

While in such employment she met a humble man---Jaime Depano who would later became her marital partner. Jaime who was fondly called by his nickname Jimmy was a graduate of vocational course from Tarlac. He was the personal driver of the Administrative Manager while my sister Janie, as she is fondly called, was working as a clerk in the Personnel Section under the Administration Department. It was there that they met regularly and eventually became close, leading them to the sacred altar of matrimony. By their marriage their common dreams of obtaining a college degree were totally closed.

Remembering Jimmy now beyond the veil

As children came into the marriage and family in close succession, Janie eventually resigned from her job and focused on nurturing and rearing the children. She understood that, “The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your universe. You relinquish that position to your children” (Jessica Lane). It was also timely that Jimmy’s vocational skills and communication and management capabilities were noted by the management and he was promoted into a Keyman---a supervisory position in the Plant Maintenance Department---and further promoted to the position of a Junior Staff. Jimmy’s junior executive position provided enough for the family’s needs and even the prospects of their children’s college education. Hence, included in their future family plans and goals were that of reliving the family legacy for their children’s obtaining the highest education they possibly could attain, which to them was bolted as a result of penury.

In my close association with Jimmy and Janie, I found them to be living in love, unity, harmony and peace as husband and wife. Such a legacy of family solidarity remains with their children even today. Their combined generosity and benevolence are still evident even with their children. They believed that the gift that makes the wallet frown, but rejoices and excites the heart is the most acceptable offering for loved ones and others.

Family of eldest daughter---Jeanette

Family life runs smoothly well until the children were already in their teens and the eldest already in college taking up a course in Nursing. During those moments of caring for her children with love and tenderness, Janie realized the truth expressed in the words of an unknown author: “The most precious jewels you’ll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children.”

While family resources may have been sufficiently provided, the weight of full time stay-at-home mother with nurturing responsibilities for four growing children, plus the consequent daily duty shift from mother to wife to attend to the tired and weary husband and provider, leaves for her no empty space for relaxation. Such heavy burdens attendant to her relentless struggles to train her four children in righteousness and guiding them daily in the right direction developed in her a steel in the spine. The prospect of a brighter future for the children remains bright until in the late 1980’s, when the Nickel Refinery closed. The unfortunate consequence of Union unrest was a tragedy to many of the employees of the company including Jimmy and Janie’s family.

The family have to temporarily transfer residence to the hometown of Jimmy in Tarlac while he was on interim assignment to report for office at the company’s Head Office in Manila. The transition was hard for the family. However, Jimmy and Janie never surrendered their commitment to support their children in their college education. They believed in the saying by Aristotle that “The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” Their eldest daughter have to be supported in her studies until she eventually finished her course and passed the Nursing Board Examinations. In the process of supporting the eldest, the second child---Jonathan had to temporarily stop schooling for one semester and tried to find employment.

Jimmy and Janie during their earlier married life

While in Manila Jimmy, knowing and realizing that there seemed to be only little hope remaining for the company to re-operate, tried to find opportunities abroad. His long years of executive plant maintenance experience in one of the largest Nickel Refinery in the world became instrumental in his bid for an executive position in a Japanese company based in Indonesia. He was employed and had to leave the family in the care of Janie. They rented an apartment in Quezon City for the children to be nearer the University of their choice and for their eldest daughter Jeanette to have easy access to her employment.

Reliving the family legacy was revitalized and college education for the children was again brightly programmed. Jimmy and Janie believed that “Education is not an expense, it’s an investment” (Nicholas A. Ferroni). Eventually Jonathan returned to college and graduated with a degree in Electronics and Communications Engineering. Jerwin, the third child, followed suit and graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Business Management. The excitement and determination to finally achieve their family goals brought another joy as the fourth child--- Joyce---finally graduated with a degree in Nursing and became the second Registered Nurse in the family.

The sweet fruit of success in reliving the family legacy on the importance of education did come, not in the comforts of an elevator ride, but in a step by step climb amidst adversities, to the summit of attainment and victory.

Jimmy and Janie were ecstatic of the accomplishment of their dreams for their children. They were very confident that the rest of their goals and plans for the family would undoubtedly come to pass. 

Janie at the President Ronald Reagan Library, USA

However, the grand and glorious enjoyment and celebration of triumph was short-lived when a heartrending tragedy occurred in time when Jerwin was scheduled to leave for employment in Dubai. Jimmy died while on employment abroad. To the family the tragic event was too much of a trial to bear. Yet all the more that they become united in battling with such intense adversity---losing a husband, father and provider. Exercising their faith and devotion to God, they accepted it as the refiner’s fire in their lives. They  centered their faith in the Lord's promise: "And I will bring [them] through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried; they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God" (Zecariah 13:9).

Moving up to the goal which Jimmy and Janie had jointly drawn earlier in marriage, Janie stood firm and joined forces with her children to carry on. After all they have already savored the sweet fruit of success and fulfillment of their dreams for the children. In her and her children’s minds run the final lines of the poem by Clinton Howell---Don’t Quit.

“Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.”

With the insurance proceeds of Jimmy and the family helping together, they hold on to faith and wrestled life’s challenges with greater fervor and undaunted commitment and optimism.

The eldest---Jeanette---eventually joined the Filipino diaspora in the United States of America and worked as a Nurse, while the three others remained with their local employments. Together they combined resources and built a modest family home and bought a car of their own. And for Janie a grand vacation to the United States and some parts of Asia in reciprocation of those missed relaxing times and moments as a result of her affectionate dedicated submission to her spousal, motherhood and family duties.

Janie with her last born---Joyce at their home
in Quezon City

As Janie now sits on an elegant sofa in their beautiful living room, she must have remembered Jimmy with fondness and affection and certainly missed those times when love and tenderness had been the inspiration and gleaming light in their early marriage as they paint in panoramic view their future happy and successful family life. Jimmy may not have physically witnessed the dawn of final victory and the sunshine of ultimate fulfillment, yet all his sacrifices are never forgotten and are always made a part in the family’s book of remembrance and in the tablet of each other’s heart. Indeed, to Janie and the children, the drink that came with the bitter cup now tastes evermore sweeter and grander.

There is no greater joy and gladness for a mother than to receive sincere expressions of gratitude and love from her children in acknowledgement of her sacrifices as did this birthday greetings a year ago from her last born daughter---Joyce: “Maligayang kaarawan sa pinakamamahal kong mama! You taught me every meaning in life, you taught me the real meaning of strive. Thanks mom for being such a great inspiration. Hats off to your dedication. I am what I am today, only because you were there for me all these years. I wouldn't be half the person I am today if you had not showered me with your wise advice and love. I love you mama! Wishing you all the best today and always, 03/11/2017.”

At 68, Janie is now alone walking the lonely lane reserved for the aged, but happy, contented and joyful and enthusiastically fulfilled. She loves to help care and guide her grandchildren, if only to be sure that the family legacy bequeathed by our parents may move forward to the next and coming generations.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY IMMEDIATE ELDER SISTER JANIE! It is my wish and fervent prayer that God will bless you with continued health and vigor to enjoy the remaining lap of your life's race with contentment and abounding family love!