SERVING WITH REAL INTENT

By: Norberto Betita

When youthful vigor wears out into the shadows of aging in the same manner as the brilliant light of day in sunset fades, one common question comes into the mind, “Could have I done better?”

As sure as the range of sunset imperceptibly snatch the light of day and swallow the remaining rays into the night’s darkness; so old age renders the feet hard to steady and engenders the hands to weaken its grasp and the old and weary soul sits in a couch of exhaustion reflecting and ever wanting to know how satisfying the journey in mortality has been before being swallowed up beyond the veil of tears. In daily serious moments of spiritual meditation and personal evaluation the lyrics of a hymn echo: “Have I done any good in the world today? (Hymn No. 223).”

Such questions were often raised to me by my beloved Letty, perhaps out of real concern how she had performed her role---as a daughter, a wife, a mother, women leader and gospel teacher---in the pageant played in this immense stage of mortality. She wanted to make sure before she finally leaves this frail existence that her performance qualify her for an eternal inheritance. She’s kind of asking, “How do I know if I’m doing all that I can as a requisite for God’s grace, as we are told that ‘it is by grace that we are saved after all we can do’ (2 Nephi 25:23)?” 

While we both know that only God can judge the measure and adequacy of our performance, I have to reassure her that in the many roles she had been foreordained to undertake in this great drama of life, she had been always serving with real intent, performing with superior enthusiasm and portraying with outstanding dedication, resulting to some significant moments of spiritual transcendence.

Despite her many different roles, she had patiently cared for her ailing mother---whose Parkinson’s disease caused her mental deterioration---until she breathed her last.

Being a wife, she had been to me a miracle. As in the movie The Bodyguard, “Our love story is a difficult one. It’s impossible to convey it in a few words.” Therefore about her role as a wife I have written much and have personally expressed each day my deepest love and appreciation for her total devotion to our marital vows and eternal covenants and her dedication to her spousal duties. 

I could justifiably describe her motherhood as angelic. Her commitment and tenacity in the performance of her maternal duties are obviously unmissable. During troubling times when days seemed blue and nights darkened by anxieties and deep concern over a child in a hassle, and when sobbing in the wee hours of the night robs the needed restful sleep, she would lovingly lean on my shoulders and longingly yearn for an answer to the same question the rich young man once asked Jesus, “What lack I yet? (Matthew 10:20).” Only her understanding of the truth that perfection is not of this life and the fact that there are limitations to what we can do in mortality, provide comfort. She knows that motherly perseverance needs to endure a lifetime.

While happiness in our family life satisfies our parental yearnings and fills the void of worldly vanities and human wishes, still she extends some of her generous time spaces in service to God and His children. In her heart always rings the words of Elder. D. Todd Christofferson, “The greatest service we can provide to others in this life, beginning with those of our own family, is to bring them to Christ.” It is of this service to others and the church that I wanted to pay tribute of her on this her 68th birthday.

Through the years she had voluntarily served as called upon in an attitude of “charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience and of faith unfeigned” (1Timothy 1:5). A service motivation that came from inside-out; an attitude of ‘what can she best give for others’ and the people with whom she was called to serve.

While most in the world “the prevailing concern seems to be, “What can I get; what’s in it for me?” as observed by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, her voluntary service is one of selflessness and love. Throughout our membership in the Church, she had an almost unbroken service calls in the Relief Society and other auxiliaries, whether it be in the presidency or as gospel teacher. Even until recently when limbs are already weakened and knees feebled, she had been called and had been serving for some time as Institute teacher, tutoring young adults some of whom were more secularly educated than she was. For such reason, she diligently prepared her lessons in such a way that she will not be so much at variance with her student’s capabilities. She studied her lessons from the very night immediately following the end of her Saturday evening classes, and daily thereafter, apart from her study of our Sunday school and Relief Society lessons. Throughout those spaces of her precious times she had offered and is offering in service to God’s children without expecting for any reward in return. Her dedication goes down deep into the marrow of her bones.

She lives by the principle that “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). She is always and ever true to her commitment to serve. I found her motive to serve as a typical characterization of the admonition of Nehpi to “…follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ...” (2 Nephi 31:13).

Her unrelenting service prompts her to adopt Jacob’s “boldness of speech” (Jacob 2:7) as she taught Relief Society and Institute students about living the gospel. She wanted to impress upon them the need to mature in the gospel and to understand the import of what she teaches about the obvious imbalance between worldly pleasures and the eternal, joyful consequences of living God’s eternal plan for His children. Some might have been offended of her boldness at times, yet many more loved her for being forthright and loving in her expressions and testimony of the truth.

Through the years she had been loved and respected by the Relief Society Sisters. At times she is surprised by hugs, in public square, from dear old sisters who had been long lost in the church to inactivity---a sign that she had always been remembered.

In times of death of a sister, she is always the first in local Relief Society leader’s thoughts to assist in dressing the endowed deceased, even offering her temple clothing to be used by those who died unprepared---it matters not whether a replacement is promised or never at all.

At 68 she is still actively and diligently serving her children and grandchildren she loves so dearly and the people of whom she was called to serve. While career retirement is a right and privilege, she believes that service to family and others of God’s children is an imperative lifetime duty of Christ’s disciples. Her love and concern for me as her covenant partner for time and all eternity grow even stronger as the dawn of life is drawn slowly to its sunset. She is not chasing happiness like an elusive butterfly. She knows and believes that as she “turn [her] attention to other [people]” beyond herself, “it will come and sit softly on [her] shoulder” (Henry David Thoreau).

Yet in some reflective moments she would again ask, “Have I really done good enough?” The words of the legendary Sophocles remind: “We must wait till evening to know how pleasant the day has been.” And when the night came down and while our eyes are still evading the need for a good night sleep, we come to the sad realization that not anyone of us can tell how fulfilling our lifetime of service has been until our final hour on earth. Her serving with real intent and with full purpose of heart, however, reassures her that she had acted well her part and her performance in the immense stage of the mortal play can be acceptable to the eminent Divine Director.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best thing that ever happened to me; the echoes of my eternity; the beauty that wrinkles never dared to diminish; the miracle of my life; the indomitable queen of my family kingdom; my precious everdearest Letty! I hope these expressions best substitute the daily magic phrase that I most sincerely convey to your ever hearing ears each morning. I wish to God that you will be blessed with more time spaces to serve Him and His children to satisfy the earnest longings of your heart for exaltation, as it is indeed, "by grace that we are saved after all we can do."

DRINKING THE CUP OF HER PERSONAL GETHSEMANE

By: Norberto G. Betita

At home with her daughter

While I was preparing to attend the funeral of my first cousin’s wife, I took time to view the rebroadcast of the Priesthood Session of the General Conference in the church. Right after the conclusion of the session, my foster daughter immediately informed me that they received a call that my elder sister Senecia, our eldest sibling, passed away early in the morning of the same day---October 7, 2017.

She is 82 years old. She is survived by her husband; seven children; twenty four grandchildren and twenty six great-grandchildren. She gave birth to eight but one had already gone beyond the veil . She raised her eight children as a fish vendor while her husband was a fisherman and later a janitor in a government office. Life was very hard for them, but they survived. She was a tough woman. For years she had been patiently drinking the cup of her personal gethsemane and had borne her cross to her personal Calvary and Golgotha.

About two months ago she drank the last and most bitter cup and bore the heaviest cross. She was left bedridden after she slid inside the bathroom. She refused to be hospitalized no matter the efforts of her children to convince her. She just bravely fought the pain and distress until her final hour. Surprisingly though, she had not been showing any feelings of discomfort despite her condition. She ate and conversed with her children and visitors. She must have somehow developed such a simple faith as to qualify her for the needed divine miracle and intervention that allowed her to endure her debilitating ordeal. Until last Thursday, she requested for the presence of our sister Virginia at her home. They had been having an enjoyable conversation. On Friday night, in the presence of our sister she ate with gusto her supper which was to be her last, for in the following morning she peacefully submitted to the will of her Maker and leave this frail existence towards her final repose.

Her last hour was convincingly one of peaceful communion with God for she did not even bother to call for help and assistance; not even to awaken her husband beside her as she breathed her last to her final rest. 

With husband and daughters

My best memory of my sister Senecia was her being one of the popular fishmongers in the Surigao City public market during her time because of her expertise and skills to cut and butcher large fishes evenly including the fish bones and backbone so that each half have a share of the bones, especially that during those times they were not using weighing scales but sold their fishes by cuts or bundles.

Once, her husband Anacorito, a fisherman was caught in a tropical depression in the midst of the sea aboard a very small motorized fishing boat. As they recognized the oncoming storm they immediately started the engine, but it did not work. While other fishermen where already ashore in the mid of night, our family was very worried about my brother-in-law. The waves become even stronger until the morning. We were losing hope. My sister was crying throughout the night feeling despaired and hopeless. In her thoughts was advanced the feelings of possible pain of losing a marital partner and husband. While impossibility of her husband’s survival was creeping into her mind amidst the heavy rains and raging storm and heaving waves too large and violent, the Almighty’s hands were extended still. With faith and courage and determination her husband and his fishing partner slowly followed their way far back home and eventually berthed in safety. 

With five of her children

On another occasion, while again in a deep sea fishing, one of her husband’s best friends joined with him and his regular fishing buddy. Suddenly an unexpected thunderstorm with flashes of lightning struck their motorized pump boat by a thunderbolt and his best friend sitting on the engine cover just disappeared, believed to have been hit by the thunderbolt as evidenced by the burning marks on the engine cover where he was seated. All efforts and attempts to find the lost body were futile. The accountability for the loss of life was placed before her husband; threatening him for imprisonment. My sister was so worried, but again her husband was spared of the accountability.

She finally decided to have her husband end his fishing career and have him work as a lowly janitor in a government office. Together they struggled to raise and rear their children from their very meagre income. They did not surrender their fight despite all the odds of life, until their children were grown up and have their own families.

At times we see our struggles in life as a vast and dark tempestuous sea and our boat too small to cross. Many tend to withdraw from the voyage or stay afloat, afraid of being drowned by the roaring waves into the depths. To withdraw is never to reach our destination and to stay afloat is to wait until our only boat of hope is submerged into the greatest depths of despair in the oceans of life. My elder sister was an example of one who bravely crossed the turbulent seas of life with faith and courage aboard her small boat, never minding the raging storms and heaving waves until she finally found mooring in a safe jetty with the help of her children. 

With siblings during a reunion

Yet even then the quivers of life continue to disrupt and annoy. During the last devastating earthquake her family’s haven was totally damaged and eventually demolished. However, in her sufferings from the devastations of nature’s fury God’s love and kindness and mercy through her angel daughter once more found for her a better anchorage. She felt a little more comfortable, until when the last roller coating of paint was finished and she left in peace.

She may not have been a perfect wife, but she remained true to her husband even in her last hour upholding their vows to love and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, till death do they part. She may not have been a perfect mother, yet she was able to create and design a strong foundation that holds her family’s building blocks of love, unity, peace and harmony together. Throughout her challenging years and adverse circumstances she had been apt at drinking the bitter cup of her personal Gethsemane; carrying her cross towards her personal Calvary’s hill and Golgotha even to her final peaceful rest.

To us her siblings, her husband, her sons and daughters, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she exemplified that whatever storms we encounter in our journey in the immense oceans of life there can always be a brightness of hope and God’s assurance that our small boat of faith and courage will survive the voyage and find a safe harbour in the blissful shore.

We will miss her, yet we are grateful that she had finally found peace with God in her last hours as she paid her last communion with Him. She is now in reunion with our parents and ancestors and her son who had gone before. There are certain ordinances that are yet to be done, but I am confident, she will eventually have the promise of “a state of happiness, a state of rest, a state of peace, where [she] shall rest from all [her] troubles and from all care and sorrow.” We love you mana Sening. We love you!