LOOKING FOR JOY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF DESPAIR

By: Norberto Betita

Rache Arpilleda Reyna Alinsunod

Some say that August is the birth of legends not only because Augustus Caesar, the first Emperor after the death of Julius Caesar named it after him, but because many of the popular legends, such as Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, Mother Theresa, Warren Buffet, Sean Connery, Neil Armstrong and hundreds of others were born in August. However, that has nothing to do with the birth of Rachel Arpilleda Reyna-Alinsunod on August 13, 1952. She was simply born to be the third of the seven siblings in a middle class family of that time---a teacher mother and a lumber contracting and supplying father.

Her mother was a true disciplinarian. As a teacher herself, she was bent on pushing her children to acquire the highest education they could attain no matter the cost, believing that it is the key to the doors of better opportunities. While the popular principle says, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’, she spared the rod and loved her children, but made sure that there was an equivalent punishment in consequence of a wrong doing in order not to spoil them. She is very exacting in so far as their schooling is concerned. She wanted them to make their quest for education and learning a preeminent priority. She trained her children to be more responsible in whatever things they do in life.

With daughter Karen Myl, son-in-law Josh and granddaughter
Kora Rachel in Slat Lake City, Utah, USA 

In contrast her father was a man of sobriety, so that every time she received the pinch of discipline from her mother she would go to her father and complain. And, repeatedly his counsel would be for her not to be dismayed nor be offended, but to look far into the future and imagine the joy of a glorious attainment if she followed the path where such code of behavior is aligned. Such recurrent paternal admonition developed in her a positive attitude of looking for joy on the other side of despair, while yet a young woman. For so long she had learned and was motivated to move forward no matter the challenges. Her first victory was graduating from high school at San Nicolas College in 1969.

The same year, with ever willing parental support, she enrolled at the Velez College in Cebu City for a course leading to a degree in Nursing. Unfortunately, however, on her third year in college she was afflicted with a serious illness which prompted her to temporarily stop schooling and return home. It had been in the Filipino culture then that elder children should finish college to help in the schooling of younger siblings. This had always been the subject of her mother’s demanding stimulation for her to go back to college especially that she only had a year and a half more to complete her course. But she believed otherwise. She wanted the tradition to stop, not out of selfishness towards her younger siblings, but by the fact that it is not proper. A son or a daughter will soon have to become a father or mother which will bear the burdens of providing and supporting a family. While a sibling may help support the education of a brother or sister, his or her paramount priority is his or her family. As a result, she decided to marry young and made it as a getaway from her mother’s pressures. 

With daughter karen Myl's family with Thorvaldsen's
Christus as backdrop. 

However, her marriage and even of her having already a son did never become a deterrent for her mother to push her back to college. She still wanted to finance her college education for good. Looking far into the future of her son and the possibility of having a larger family, she therefore determined and committed to carry on. With her son tightly clutched on her arms she left Surigao City and went back to college enrolling at the Southwestern University in Cebu City. She eventually graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Foods and Nutrition in 1978. She acknowledged with gratitude for such an achievement which should not have been attained without her mother’s perseverance and unyielding faith and enthusiasm combined with strict discipline and the caring and affectionate counsels he received from her father, which had since become complementary.

After a short respite, she applied at the Pacific Cement Company in 1980 and was employed as Guesthouse Service Officer. She resigned in 1984 to focus on her motherhood and spousal duties. In the wake of family financial crisis resulting from lose of employment and increasing family challenges, she was encouraged by her mother to shift career and take a course in teaching. She did as her way of challenging her feelings of despair. She eventually graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education and became a professional teacher. Her faith and courage sustained her all along her tremendous responsibility of fostering and nurturing her children, while at the same time trying hard to mend a broken heart and strengthening the foundation and the building blocks of home and family. In patience she gained serenity; in humility she found God’s favor; in prayers she was blessed with resolves. The shattering energy and force of the devil did never prosper as she held on to the shield of faith and hope for greater family happiness if not in this world then beyond the veil. Her knowledge of the gospel has been her continued anchor and lighthouse along the treacherous channels of her life’s journey.

While thus in such a pressured parental undertaking, she started her teaching career at the Children’s Garden Learning Center from 1988 to 1990. In 1992 she was permanently employed as a public school teacher in the Department of Education. In all her struggles she took shelter in her father’s memorable counsel to look for joy on the other side of despair.

The family

Her faith and hope for a better tomorrow for her growing children brightened the clouded path and magnified her vision as to clearly view greater joy and gladness while in the grasp of her children’s love as she most seriously engage herself in providing, rearing and nurturing them in righteousness.

While thus trying to envision the future needs of her young and growing children, she ventured to advance her educational attainment and took Master of Arts in Teaching at the Bukidnon State College. Once at church, she expressed to me her apprehension of not finishing the course. As his Branch President then, I counseled her to move on and finish the educational race which she had started. She graduated and was later promoted to the position of School Principal. Her advanced teaching career helped her support and led her children into the paths of educational success.

She remained to be just as true to her covenants to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as a member of the church. However, the fortifying element in the family seemed to have lost its power as to draw away her two sons to inactivity. But such did not diminish her greatest love for them. She knew that someday in their lives the “tentacles of Divine Providence” which God promised to the faithful parents will eventually come upon them to tug them back into the fold. If they repent and “keepeth [the] commandments, whether in life or in death” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:2), they will be blessed in God’s Kingdom. She also finds comfort and happiness in her daughter Karen Myl’s exemplary faithfulness, that despite her being diagnosed for a possible illness that should have deprived her to serve, she eventually went on a full-time mission in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and returned with honor. And after years of patiently waiting was eventually married in the Temple.

With mother and siblings

All her three children---Benjamin, Eric and Karen Myl---completed their college education and were already gainfully employed when another despairing and mournful tragedy occurred. His eldest son Benjamin died in the prime of his life. The tragedy was truly one of sadness and sorrow; of loneliness and grief. But she stayed calm and confronted the heartbreak with serenity and meditative tranquility. When she was asked by her associates about her composure while in the midst of a sorrowful misfortune for the passing of his eldest son, she told them, “I know I will meet him again in a grand reunion beyond the veil.” She knew that ‘death is only a passing episode in an eternal journey,’ a graduation day for life. With Benjamin’s passing, her desire for them to be sealed together for time and eternity was amplified. Together with her daughter Karen Myl, they tried to work on such a noble plan. But time seemed not as yet ready to undertake its due. However, with greater faith she hopes for such noble goal to eventually find fulfillment. She felt like Spencer W. Kimball who said: “There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, give me this mountain, give me these challenges.” Consequently, she invests her ‘heart, might, mind and strength’ in the service of God and his fellowmen. She had served in different capacities in the auxiliary organizations of the church the latest of which is Sunday School Gospel Doctrine teacher and District Supervisor of the Seminary and Institute Program. She believes that “the best medicine for despair is service” (Gordon B. Hinckley). 

With husband and living children

Along the path to career advancement there sometimes rest the dark shadows of prejudices as are common in public service. Once she was asked by her younger brother who is a lawyer and Priesthood holder, as to which was important to her, promotion and salary increase or relationships. The words of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf flashed: “Satan’s purpose is to temp us to exchange the priceless pearls of true happiness for a fake plastic trinket that is merely a counterfeit of happiness and joy.” Thus, in her quest for career advancement and growth she just humbly waited for her chances in life’s rides, for her to finally see the brighter light at the end of the tunnel, while relishing the priceless pearls of true happiness found in relationships. She was more happy and respected by her colleagues in the DepEd and was soon also promoted to the position of District Supervisor in May of 2015, which will be her position towards retirement in August 2017.

While she doesn’t in anyway believes in Zodiac signs, yet her attributes of positive outlook towards life, enthusiasm and determination to achieve, and being a good friend and loyal to her relationships, exactly correspond to the description of those born under the sign of Leo. In all these developments of a noble character she always prided during some of our classes in Sunday School, she being our teacher, that all stems from her mother’s loving discipline and her father’s sincere admonition for her to always look for joy on the other side of despair. 

Reunion with high school classmates in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

She is still hoping and ardently praying for their family sealing to be fulfilled soon. At times frustrations occupy a resting mind and tears forced open the windows of the eyes. Nevertheless, the words of the Psalmist she learned from teaching the Old Testament ever echo: “…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). She has faith that the break of the dawning day will one day majestically rise to drive the dark night shadows away. She now savors the joy of visiting her granddaughter Kora Rachel at Wyoming and takes pleasure in visiting historical places in America with her son-in-law Josh and daughter Karen Myl. She appreciates very much meeting in a reunion in Las Vegas with high school friends and classmates and meeting new friends.

As she comes home to file her retirement she carries with her the words of President Thomas S. Monson: “To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility.” Triumphantly she will soon march out from the humdrums of a secular career. She will now reserve her remaining energy revitalizing and rejuvenating her responsibilities which are of eternal consequences---spousal duties, motherhood and church callings---where retirement is never an entitlement. She knows that mortality is so short a time when equated with God’s promised eternity.