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Saturday, January 16, 2016

WHEN DEATH PROVIDES SORROWFUL RELIEF

By: Norberto Betita

Their wedding day
There is no greater refining test perhaps for a righteous man than for him to be pinned in bed for more than nine years suffering a debilitating disease; totally incapacitated even more than an infant. No greater love, sacrifice and faith is expressed by a loving wife than for her caring and nursing a suffering husband 24/7 and alone for the same period of such a very painful struggle; a burden more difficult than rearing and caring for a little child. Perhaps there is no comparable more painful grapple and strain and lamentation than for a wife witnessing daily her dearly beloved husband suffer in agony and pain and patiently enduring the saddest view of life without even the chance of relief, than painstakingly awaiting the final call to leave this frail existence. No greater love is expressed by a beloved wife than to sit beside her agonizing marital partner and fulfilling her eternal covenant to love and to hold for better or for worse for time and all eternity. The day, however, did finally come when death provides sorrowful relief as the ailing and excruciatingly suffering husband breathed his last as he was finally appointed to surrender his mortal coil and free his eternal soul for repose. 

Death happens to all of us. It comes to the rich and the poor; the weak and the strong; the joyful and forlorn; the young and elderly; and to the wicked as well as to the righteous. It grabs the child’s life in the tenderness of infancy; it summons the youths in the bloom of hope and the glory of expectations; it opens its heavy doors for the men and women in the heights of success; and it offers relief to the sick and afflicted as they yield in final submission to the will of their maker. While it brings about sorrow and grief in the hearts of the bereaved, yet it is not the end, but only a chapter of an eternal story. All must pass the portals of death as a necessary prologue to a new episode and beginning.

My brother-in-law Doroteo Friolo Gilvero was a man of righteous predilection. He came to Surigao City as a missionary of his former religious affiliation. He earned a living as a tailor. When he married my wife’s sister, he started his own small tailoring shop and went back to college eventually earning a degree in accounting. He tried to test his interest in insurance underwriting and passed the required examinations and so became a licensed insurance sales underwriter while at the same time continuing his tailoring shop. When he converted into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, he eventually became the first Bishop of Surigao Branch, under the Butuan Philippines Stake. He went to Digos City to start his own insurance and other services business. While there, he again served in different capacities without fail. His family was sealed at the Manila Philippines Temple.

As his business continued to regularly grow, he trained his only child---a son---to work with him. While they were in this kind of father and son partnership, he unexpectedly suffered a stroke. Efforts had been done for him to recover, but in vain. He slowly was immobilized and stuck in bed for the next nine years. Having his son trained and prepared in the business was truly a blessing as to have it sustained and conserved in his absence.

Indeed, in life, we daily witness unanticipated and bewildering afflictions, tragedies and calamities both to the righteous and the wicked. These are not all about punishments and consequences of sins. To the righteous it comes as a trial of faith; a process of sanctification. My brother-in-law had lived his life in harmony with God’s eternal plan, looking beyond all the challenges of life and with visions far into eternity. Sometimes we feel justified to question why he suffered that much agony and pain. But we knew and understand that everything that happens to us is according to God’s will.

While his passing may have been a relief for the family, yet to the heavily burdened wife, sorrow and tear-filled loneliness engulfed the soul. Yet grief and tearful separation is such a necessary prelude of the promised glorious reunion in the life to come. Surely the bereaved family will be missing the loss of a loved-one, but the hope and assurance of a glorious resurrection provides comfort and a never ending view and vision of a future reunification in the realms of God. The timeless promise of the family being together forever provides added meaning to all the sacrifices that the family had faced and endured; even the challenges yet to come. Death is the healing balm to the ills of mortality. It comes as a realization that everything on earth is temporary, even life itself. To the dead, death clears away the mounting doubts of a life hereafter and so expects of us to believe in their present reality. Therefore, for the dead, the best homage is not to take sorrow but more of gratefulness. In our moments of sadness it is best then to trust in God’s infinite promise to the faithful and obedient: “And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow” (Alma 40:12).

For us, the living, it is of paramount significance that we express gratitude for each added new day that comes in our mortality giving us more opportunities of service and love for people around us as we prepare best for our final call. We are so lucky we are given enough time to mend our mistakes and to show more of our love for the Lord Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. While it may be true that we suffer the anguish and sorrow of pain from the many natures of the burdens of life---afflictions, injuries, trials and tribulation---yet it is a joy that still we are given more opportunities to live our life to the fullest. We are privileged to enjoy the beauty of winning our battles and the wonders of victory.

I express my personal condolences to the bereaved family of my brother-in-law, DOROTEO FRIOLO GILVERO, for his passing. May his dearly beloved wife; son and family; siblings and relatives be ever comforted of the promise that, “…God shall wipe away all tears from [his] eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son” (Revelation 21: 4, 7).

May this reassuring proof and confirmation eliminate and expunge the mourning and sadness when death provides sorrowful relief and eventually bestow spiritual uplift and cheers into our hearts.



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