THE RETURNED MISSIONARY’S QUEST FOR TEMPLE MARRIAGE

  

By: Norberto Betita

The returned missionary, Jovanni P. Graven

When he was young, Jovanni Paguican Graven together with his family trudged the road to church inactivity. His youthful itinerary was somewhere the length of a winding road. He was kind of lost. However, God did not want him to be forever walking the meandering way and so He commissioned good men to conduct a search and rescue. The family of thirteen---father, mother and eleven children--- was found and their faith revived and resuscitated. Since then three of his elder brothers served missions and were eventually married and sealed in the temple. Likewise his youthful journey changed and his direction was gradually focused into an eternal perspective. He began to do his best, slowly improving his scholastic capabilities while diligently doing his Aaronic Priesthood responsibilities. His high school academic performance brought him to the elite Special Science class. 

As soon as he graduated from high school, he started to dream of serving a mission. He served even most seriously in his Aaronic Priesthood assignments. He enrolled in college and in the Institute Program of the church. Aside from the regular institute classes he also enrolled in the Missionary Preparation class, determined to really serve as an ambassador for the Lord Jesus Christ. He eventually was called as a full-time missionary assigned at the Olongapo Philippines Mission. During such span of time he had meet many people and new friends. Two years passed and he was honorably released. To him it was one of the best two years of his life, yet he was a little disturbed about what life would be after the mission. 

The couple at the Manila Philippines Temple-first date.

As a returned missionary he was faced with greater challenge as a result of the switch---from missionary life back to his natural habitat. He had been told of several missionaries returning home and eventually giving up church activity. He himself had known some of them. Yet he looked with confidence at the examples of his elder brothers. He had fixed his mind that his tag as an RM should not be construed as a Retired Mormon. He rather took it to mean Reinforced or Reinvigorated Mormon. Therefore, he tried to take more time in service to the church. Since his missionary release he had served in different capacities last of which was District executive secretary and Institute Teacher---Missionary preparation class. Most of his free times were spent in assisting full-time missionaries and rescuing the lost one. Despite being driven out by an inactive RM, he insisted to not give up on him. Hence, in all his relentless efforts to serve, his RM tag was added the meaning of Respected Mormon. 

Graduation pictures with parents.

He enrolled back to college a much better and more responsible student. While in his struggle to earn a college degree, he was in constant hassle as Priesthood leaders continue to jog his memory of a more important priority---TM. He does not want TM to mean Temporary Marriage or Time Marriage only, as it happened to several returned missionaries. All he ever wanted is to have the real TM---Temple Marriage. In his mind always rings the words of President Thomas S. Monson: “I would admonish you to maintain an eternal perspective. Make certain that the marriage in your future is a temple marriage. There is no scene so sweet, no time so sacred as that very special day of your marriage. Then and there you glimpse celestial joy. Be alert; do not permit temptation to rob you of this blessing.” Of course he did not aspire for a baroque wedding reception. But even then he needed finances even just for the trip to the temple for the two of them and perhaps for the parents of whosoever will be his choice. He could not find a better job that could provide such, so he just continued to pursue his education while at the same time dating and courting for a possible eternal partner and writing to some distant girlfriends. He took the advice to date as many as possible to be able to build friendship and find the one best prepared for him. He went into a relationship once, but it was short-lived for reason only the two of them knew. His eyes were misty as he told some friends of the breakup. He longed to date and court others, while the reminders from Priesthood leaders continued to intensify, especially after he graduated from college and was already with a job. 

Strengthening the bond at the temple while waiting
for the final moment.

Providence perhaps raised objections for him to find his possible eternal partner in his home province as for him to be constantly rejected by friends he wanted to court. One Sunday he told me he is leaving to visit a longtime friend he met during his mission in Olongapo City. I told him if ever he decides to be married to a woman far away he should come back as we are losing the best Priesthood holders because of marriages outside of our boundaries.

He first met Sister Jessica Roncal in his first area during his mission in Olongapo City. She was serving a part-time mission for two months while waiting for her mission call. He admitted that during each of their conversations he felt some interest on her that needed to be restrained considering that he is in the mission field. He felt sad as she left to serve at the Cauayan Philippines Mission. They met again when she returned on September 2012, but that was only for a short time because he went home the following month, October 2012. Since then and for more than two years, they never have any communication. Until one day in December 2014 while scouring for messages on Facebook, trying to heal a broken heart, he incidentally spotted a very familiar name---Jessica Roncal. He felt revitalized and rejuvenated. With intensified excitement he instantaneously sent a friend request. Yet he flagged after receiving no confirmation for several days. But at last in a week his request was confirmed. Communication exchanges then became a routine and mutual feelings filled the hearts.

Missionary memories

Jovanni and Jessica never failed to find time closer to each other notwithstanding the distance divided by seas, rivers and mountains, even during that long period that they did not personally meet. They just kept their friendship open and their hearts ever hoping. They both desired not to settle for less than a temple marriage. Their feelings remained true to the friendship, and they believed that for as long as they remain an acquaintance despite the distance, it matters not, there is hope. They did not give up. They must have been as optimistic as Savannah even to believe that “At the end of the day – I get to marry my best friend for eternity, so nothing else will make or break the happiness of that day.” During the last five months they shifted their contacts from Facebook messages to personal calls and texting. Finally they both decided to meet at the Manila Philippines Temple for their first ever personal dating.

During their short visit to the Manila Philippines Temple together on July 22, 2015, Jovanni and Jessica attended two endowment sessions. At the conclusion of the second session, while inside the Celestial Room, they jointly prayed with exceptional earnestness, petitioning Heavenly Father for a confirmation if they are really meant for each other. In the course of their quiet supplication tears wet the dry eyes and bosoms burned with tender feelings of calm and soothing assurance and affirmation that they indeed are the right and best partner for a temple marriage. They made it to their most sincere expectations! 

Showing his love of little children

Indeed, they are meant for eternity for while they were financially unprepared for the battle against the challenges of marital life, yet they trusted the prophet’s voice and counsel, “Honorable marriage is more important than wealth, position and status. As husband and wife, you can achieve your life’s goals together. As you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you, and your commitment to the Lord and your service in His kingdom will be enhanced” (President Ezra Taft Benson). President Thomas S. Monson once said, “Decisions determine destiny.” Immediately they made the decision to track the path to their eternal destiny. After a month of counting from their first date, during which time Jovanni was already employed, he unreservedly proposed and asked the question which a woman in love ever so anxiously awaited: “Will you marry me? Such proposal defies all other worldly expectations and dreams. The unequivocal proposal question carried with it the wisdom of the words of Elder Joseph W. Sitati which says, “Living prophets and apostles have counseled all who have the opportunity to enter into the covenant of eternal marriage to proceed in wisdom and faith. We should not put off the time of that sacred day because of worldly pursuits or hold our expectations of a suitable companion at a level that disqualifies every possible candidate.”

The returned missionary’s quest for temple marriage is now over. The long wait and unwavering hope of Jessica for her eternal partner to surface was granted. The day for them to finally enter the doors of the House of the Lord to kneel before the holy altar between the mirrors of eternity, and enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage for time and all eternity, had been finally set---Saturday, October 3, 2015. Now they both recognized the fact that, “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved” (William Jennings Bryan). They both worked for their mutual dreams to find its route to their destined future and they now found the way into their journey to eternity.