HOW MY 1-YEAR OLD GRANDSON LONGS FOR A DAD

by: Norberto Betita

CIAN KENNETH

When our 7th grandchild was born our hearts were filled to overflowing with joy and gladness for having one grandson added into our posterity. His early exposure to adversity even in his early conception makes him unique and uncommon. His enduring character even as a fetus in the confines of his mother’s womb provided us with hopeful assurance that he will be able to go through and stand by the tests of mortality. Several times his conception was threatened for miscarriage, but he held on. He was conceived and born in adversity, but he came out a sturdy 3.5 more kilos boy infant with a glowing manifestation of courage and bravery. He was as if telling us, “I have successfully endured, there is no reason that the family should not. I have fought my battles and ended up victor, I am come to help fight our goliaths and win.” His life had to start with misfortune having been estranged from his biological father even from the time of his conception. The shudders of adversity were right at his naked tender body the very second he was delivered from his mother’s womb.

I have given him the most fitting name CIAN KENNETH, meaning, born of fire (adversity), and royal oath (a covenant son), handsome, and enduring. A combination name of Irish (for Cian), and Gaelic, Scottish, English (for Kenneth) origin.

Despite his earlier encounters with trials without a father in his daily life, he grows healthy and strong. He is now a year and three months old and can utter words as mommy and others. He learned to say daddy from his three-year old cousin Travis. Each time Travis’ father comes home from work he would open the door and cry out with excitement “daddy, daddy, daddy” and Cian Kenneth would follow and with kind of real thrill and eagerness for a father’s presence also cries “daddy, daddy, daddy”. And his uncle would cuddle and huddle him together with his cousin. Such a daily observation of ecstasy and jubilation from my one-year old grandson, hungering and craving for a father’s presence pierced my heart with sadness and sorrow. How I longed that his father grasped the message of an unknown author who said, “A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.”

His father visits him and his three siblings occasionally. During a recent visit he and his elder brother went with their father. As they returned home his brother cuddled him and as their father left he screamed with penetrating wails which only the hug of his mother mends. I was touched by such a poignant scene consequential of estrangement and disaffection which I never dreamed to happen to my posterity. The awful display of alienation reminded me of the words of William Bennett: “Real fatherhood means love and commitment and sacrifice and a willingness to share responsibility and not walking away from one’s children.” I was prompted to write that perhaps in the years to come he might have something in his personal history that will provide him the courage to move on and to do better than what his early life’s experiences doomed.

I am grateful that two of my married children are living with us in the same roof, although we live as independent families, that there are his uncles who let him feel the love of a father. As a grandfather, I tried and will ever try to be the best substitute but my life is getting shorter as to perhaps see him grow to maturity. While his father provides him and his siblings a monthly sustenance, I have to temporarily perform together with my son and son-in-law the most important work which Ezra Taft Benson declared: “Fatherhood is not a matter of station or wealth. It is a matter of desire, diligence and determination to see one’s family exalted in the celestial kingdom. If that prize is lost, nothing else really matters.” I’m sure Heavenly Father will not forsake my posterity of their need to be exalted if they are worthy. His providence will provide in due time the missing requirements for exaltation---a father.

One night the silence and tranquility of early dawn was broken by the continual cries of Cian Kenneth. Not even her mother could stop him. My wife decided to take him in her arms and brought him into our room. He ceased crying. And as he was laid on our bed he stared at me very sharply. In his eyes I could discern a very deep, all-pervading and inquiring longing for a dad who would have carried his tender body in the grasp of his bare hands in a shared responsibility with his mother to relieve him of childhood anxieties during the weary night. 

We are very sorry that his family was subjected and penetrated by the wiles and deception of the evil one whose wisely designed purpose is to destroy the family. Gone are the happy days of more than twelve years of togetherness, replaced by the shadows of gloom and despair resultant of isolation and alienation. During the early days of quiet separation and parting many tears were shed and weeping a common sight, hearts broken, and feelings erred. Yet forgiveness heals and hopes and faith in the power of the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ reverberate into eternity. His elder siblings are already adjusted to their present environment and conditions. Their yearnings of their father’s presence now dwindle and wane. Gone are the excitements of occasional visits. However, to Cian Kenneth from whose birth had never experience a father’s permanent presence, visits only add profound and abiding longing for the presence and love of a Dad.