THE DRESSMAKER’S NIGHT

The Flordeliza Gasta Betita-Odtojan Story

By: Norberto Betita

Flordeliza Gasta Betita-Odtojan

She was born on August 11, 1937 when our mother was only sixteen years old and christened as Flordeliza Gasta Betita. She is second to have been born out of thirteen siblings. In her younger years, she was the most beautiful and attractive of the women in the family. She was born when life was too difficult because of the global ‘great depression’ and only a little child when the greatest battle ever fought during World War II at the Surigao Strait was at its height during General McArthur’s Leyte landing. The most terrifying roars of American bomber planes, flying above their evacuation places, was such a dreaded part in her life’s experiences.

Although our parents are very supportive of our quest for learning, high school education was too difficult to attain because of its 12 kilometer distance from our place and the non-availability of public transport. Plus the fact that money was too hard to find.

However, despite all the difficulties she struggled to study high school at the Northeastern Mindanao Colleges until she was forced to stop due to an incident in which she collapsed and went on a coma one afternoon at school---4:00PM. She was thought to have been already dead, and was no longer brought to the hospital. But at about or past 10PM, she awakened as if just from being fast asleep. 

With husband Gerardo Odtojan

Since then she stopped schooling and trained with our mother the skills in dressmaking. With innate intellectual gift, she’d easily learned the skills. Not long after she became the assistant of our mother in her dressmaking works. She had trained so well that she eventually became an expert dressmaker.

Then trying to find opportunities for work, even just as a house help, she went with our cousin Margie Japzon to the Province of Lanao. Returning home later, a distant relative---Bella Marquida Odtojan, discovered her dressmaking skills and invited her to stay with her family in Mangagoy to earn a living as a fulltime dressmaker. She obliged and went to stay with the Odtojan’s. Her expertise started to shine in the neighborhood and then into the community which in consequence earned for her the trusts of more clients.

Not long after, while more women were attracted to the glamour of her finished dresses, her beauty and personal prettiness also caught the searching eyes of a relative of her landlord. Gerardo Odtojan, a native of Bad-as, Placer, from the same province of Surigao del Norte, her home province, was an engineering graduate and was working at the lumber department of the Bislig Bay Lumber Company, Inc. (BBLCI), which later evolved to become the Paper Industries Corporation of the Philippines (PICOP). From attraction was formed a deep friendship which later developed into a profound desire for courtship. Finally, as was the culture of their times, a “yes I do” was given in answer to a very sincere pleadings, “will you marry me?”

I was only about eight years old and had just completed my first grade in elementary, but I still could vividly remember that day prior to the scheduled wedding day when a large truck came and parked in front of our house filled with oversized cooking utensils, food stuffs, live animals and others. There was also a band. While formal family courtesies was in process, hired cooks started slaughtering animals for the sumptuous wedding feast. The pre-nuptial party ended late while cooking continued uninterruptedly even as the church’s bells rang to signal the beginning of the wedding march and expressions of marital vows on that blessed day of May 6, 1960; until the wedding convoy with a band following arrived at home and the grandiose wedding reception was started to the delight of the guests and the entire neighborhood who had been invited to the celebrations. Such was one very expensive wedding preparations which probably was never duplicated in our hometown. But to my brother-in-law---Gerardo---it was and must have been worth the cost, for throughout their family life, my sister---Flordeliza---had always been a loyal and hardworking partner. 

Relaxing at home with family pets

I was privilege to live with them during the summer vacation of 1962. I was supposed to enroll for my fourth grade in the public school of Mangagoy, Bislig, Surigao del Sur. She was then pregnant of her first born son. It was there and during the time of her pregnancy that I witnessed the mounting pressures of the dressmaker’s night. From morning till night, she labored to make sure her commitments to her clients are met. When her husband was on a night shift duty in his work, she worked even till midnight. She healed her conception related nausea by smoking cigarette and filled her thirst with Coca Cola. The demands of her sewing expertise includes dresses, uniforms, curtains and others. Yet in her busiest moments as a dressmaker, she always took time to care for her husband when at home. Her husband, a very humble man, also understood that in their partnership, they are co-equal, hence when he recognized that his wife was too busy dressmaking while at the same time doing household chores, he did the woman’s chores as well, such as, but not limited to laundering and cooking.

Even at the heights of her pregnancy, at the time when the fetus in her womb was already 5 months, she still did sewing dresses. She did her daily routine in dress making and never complaint. She should have reasons to decline her customers or to limit her works to do, after all, they still have no children to provide. Yet she did what was necessary to prepare for the future and especially to make sure that her clients will remain faithful patron of her.

Sometime in 1971, I have again the opportunity to go on vacation at their home. Mangagoy was already flourishing as a barangay. I noticed that she had gotten more and more clients than before. By then she had already four children to care for and pregnant for her fifth child. Yet despite her mounting dressmaking work commitments, she never shook off nor faltered in her motherhood responsibilities to her children and her spousal duties to her husband. As a matter of fact, she should have established her own dress shop and hire other dressmakers, but she did not, knowing that it would seriously affect her motherhood duties. At least with her business at home she was sure that the family was first in her daily agenda before sitting in front of the sewing machine. Her family was central to her life. She had been very lucky to have a very understanding and kind husband who was always true to their spousal and parental partnership. 

With living siblings

While the family was as ever paramount in her daily routine, sewing seemed to have become the way of recuperating her weary soul. Besides, she wanted to serve her clients with confidence and build a relationship of trust; keeping in balance family duties and earning opportunities. As children are asleep and her husband on his duty shift, the dressmaker’s night continue to echo the timbre of a mechanical sewing machine which to her had long become a sweet music to the ear. She knew then that there is no way that she can be a perfect mother, but throughout those many years of her mothering, she was provided the best opportunities to be such a good one.

Despite her husband’s adequate income as an executive of the Paper Industries Corporation of the Philippines, as Section Head of the Lumber Department, even eventually retiring as Senior Staff member, she continued to labor as a dressmaker. Beyond those weary nights of pedaling the sewing machine was her dreams to help her children attain the necessary education that they wanted to achieve which for her was denied because of poverty. She and her husband, provided all their children the opportunity to go to college. Although not all earned a degree, it was not out of financial incapacity and moral support, but of individual choice. Her unconditional love for her children reverberate the poem “A Mother’s Love” by an unknown author: 

Her seven children

There are times when only a Mother’s love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we’ve dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real

There are times when only a Mother’s faith
Can help on life’s way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day

For a Mother’s heart and a Mother’s faith
And a Mother’s steadfast love
Were fashioned by the angels
And sent from God above
(Author Unknown)

There’s a saying that “Never underestimate the power of a woman with a sewing machine.” Indeed, as years are carried on to the ever changing fashions and styles, the dressmaker remains to be the best and most fitting partner of beauty and glamour. However, more than the fits and fads in the stylistic and enchanting world of trendiness and charm, the dressmaker’s night which was made part of my sister’s productive dynamism was always and ever pointedly attuned to an ever dominant and far more supreme creative power to shape and frame the beauty of her family life.

When her husband died in July 1, 1998, my sister Flordeliza continued to do her trade until she was advised by her children to stop at age 75. She may not have been blessed with material abundance, but she rejoiced with contentment while reflecting on those years of tremendous struggle to raise and rear and educate seven children.

She is now 81 and walking the lonesome pathway reserved for the feeble and weary travelers in their advanced and deteriorated years of life’s journey. Yet her countenance never displayed the common frustrations of the compounding and intensifying physical limitations resulting from old age. She enjoys her remaining years at home under the care of her two unmarried daughters.

On this her 81st birthday celebrations, I do wish for the best of benedictions which God has kept in reserve to be poured out for her from this day and all through the staying time of her mortal life.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANA FLONG!

SHE RESTED IN PERFECT PEACE

by: Norberto Betita

I join and bind my sorrowful heart with the Gasta clan in grieving for the passing of our dearest Aunt Policronia Mangle Gasta. Weeping and mourning are natural responses for losing a loved one. Yet when death is best understood, feelings can easily shift from mournful grief to joyful gratitude.

Most people feared death. They think of death as horrible and therefore just turn their backs whenever the subject of death is on discussion. Yet, according to President Russel M. Nelson, “...death, though difficult for surviving loved ones, is a necessary part of our immortal existence. Death allows us to progress to the next world.” (The Book of Mormon: What Would Your Life Be Like without It?, lds.org). This truth adds credence to the words of the legendary Socrates when he wrote: “Death maybe the greatest of all human blessings” (Brainyquotes).

Parting and final sad farewell to a dearly beloved as he or she is brought to the ultimate resting place maybe thought of as permanent separation. But, “Death is not the end. It is putting out the candle because the dawn has come.” (Hugh B. Brown, quoted by President Thomas S. Monson, Ruth Faust is 'welcomed home' Deseret News).

However, more reassuring than the above straightforward and faithful declarations are the words of the prophet Alma in the Book of Mormon who said:

“Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.” (Alma 40:11-12)

I will always remember Tiya Conyang as a very good and generous aunt. My relationship to her was one of great respect and love. When I was a boy and until I was in early high school I always went to the house of my grandparents to do errands for them. Tiya Conyang had always been very accommodating of her nieces and nephews.

She was the last to come to earth of the seven siblings and the last to leave this vale of tears. Of the seven children of our grandparents Porferio and Tecla Gasta, she alone plotted a route and traversed the deep swamp of poverty and therefore surfaced as the only one in the family who made it through college. With real courage and struggle; patience and perseverance, and faith to endure which she daily carried on her bag of destitution, she eventually became a professional teacher. Public school teachers during her time were among the highest paid government employees. Hence, he was able to build for her and her parents a two-storey house. She also studied English as a second language in Manila making her one of the best English subject teacher in our town.

She was a very religious woman. At retirement she volunteered to teach catechism in the Catholic Church. She even went to the hinterland barangays not only in our town but in other places in the country to teach children the principles of Christianity and love of God. Many of the people in our town remember her as the teacher and catechist. All of us who paid her a visit will always be reminded of the need to live righteous lives, warning us of the consequences of sinful acts.

During the strongest earthquake that hit our town of San Francisco, Surigao del Norte on February 10, 2017, her house was irreparably destroyed and she sustained a serious injury on her head. Yet she survived. She was then 91 years old. With the help of a friend of mine, we bought materials for a temporary shelter for her and with the help of nephews and younger family members the dwelling was immediately built.

She was given birth on February 17, 1926. A week ago I received a message that she suddenly became so weak. After sending some of the things that she might immediately need, I prayed to Heavenly Father that if her appointed time and call to return to where she came from draw more closer that she be allowed no longer to have a prolonged suffering and just have a peaceful rest. At the earliest dawn of July 22, 2018, when the immediate surroundings of her temporary dwelling was in total stillness and most quiet tranquility, she rested in perfect peace. Her spirit imperceptibly sneaked to the other side of the veil leaving behind the physical body soon to lie dormant in the "cold and silent grave" (2 Nephi 1:14) until the resurrection day. I was told that not even a single prior complaint was raised nor a slightest faint was heard as she breathed her last to finally meet her Maker.

Now she is in grand reunion with all of her loved ones who had long passed beyond the veil. We have already done the sealing of her parents, my grandparents, for time and eternity, with her sisters Mercedes and Francisca, my mother, being sealed to them. This August we will be doing the necessary saving ordinances for her other siblings to be sealed to their parents. For Tiya Conyang, we will make it sure that she will be sealed to the family in due time, with hopes that all of them will accept the ordinances in the next life for them to live forever as a family. Tiya Conyang was never married in this life, but Heavenly Father will not deprive her faithful daughter of that privilege of having her own family in the afterlife.

Perhaps for Tiya Conyang, she wanted more for us to rejoice than mourn for her passing and to better understand the realities of her journey to the next life as a blessing of progression back to a more blessed sphere of existence.

I personally express my deepest gratitude and heartfelt appreciation to my cousin Julian Lopez, Jr. and his family for taking care of her, especially at the time of her seniority and until her eventual final rest.

BEING MEANT FOR EACH OTHER

By: Norberto Betita

They first meet in a church activity while studying in college. The few personal visits eventually turned into a perpetual stopover and was further transformed into a courting episode. In time courtship ultimately switched to a feeling of devotion and love as for the two beings becoming best of friends.

Jayvee Paeste was fostered by her aunt after her mother died during his early infancy. His father is an overseas seaman, an officer of a ship, which also prompted him to take up a nautical course. He also became a seaman himself which I later learned to be the cause of their break-up.

I first meet Jayvee during one of the tree planting activities of the Surigao 3rd Branch of the church in one of the community near Capalayan, Surigao City. He was introduced to me as the boyfriend of Jusherlyn Mojello, whom I know very well since as a young woman until she became a teacher, being a long time member of our branch. Months passed and I heard rumors that Jusherlyn is already engaged to be married in the temple. All the while I was thinking that it was Jayvee whom they are talking about, but I was surprised to know that the young man was a returned missionary once assigned in Surigao City.

Months later, I again learned that Juserlyn’s plan was deferred and her relationship finally came to a split.

The newlyweds at the temple door

After Jayvee’s breakup with Jusherlyn, and during the time when he was working abroad as a seaman, he likewise got a new girlfriend, but later also had distanced himself from and eventually ended such relationship.

For some space of time they both tended their broken hearts, trying to find relief from heartaches, disappointments and pains, and searching for meaning of such romantic failures. In the course of their individual quest for personal independent directions, their mutual feelings again brought them back into the crossroads where they once meet. The strings of the broken relationship was once again mended and came in perfect tune; and thus the melody of a more devoted and affectionate amorous commitment resound the infinitely wonderful music for the heart.

The circumstance when Jayvee and Jusherlyn first came to a fork in the road was kind of Alice’s encounter with the Cheshire cat in the animated movie Alice in the Wonderland. They were not yet sure where to go, and so it seems that it did not matter to them which road they should take. On the way they found themselves lost from each other. 

Cebu City Philippines Temple

But all along, the longings of the heart appear to reverberate as ever the sweet and lasting memories of yesteryears. As they found their way back to the historic crossroads of their common journey, they discovered themselves both standing at a point where a crucial decision has to be made. Their reunion thus became kind of an spiritual evidence that pierced their consciousness as for them to ultimately realize that they are truly meant for each other. 

Being meant for each other is not to say that the two are soul mates. President Spencer W. Kimball explained, “Soul mates are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.” (Oneness in Marriage, Ensign, lds.org). Accordingly, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf added: “Once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate, and it is your duty and responsibility to work every day to keep it that way.” – (Is there such a thing as “soul mates”? New-era,LDS.org).

Waiting Area-Cebu City Philippines Temple

The phrase ‘meant for each other’ means being suited for each other as romantic partners. For my liberal understanding of the phrase, it means two people conceiving and formulating mutual intimate feelings towards each other; it is being compatible in an affectionate touch that stem deep from the heart notwithstanding incompatibility in many other things, which differences may be resolved one at a time while in the heart of marital relationship. Interestingly Jayvee and Jusherlyn did just that. While they have the opportunity to find potential marital partners themselves, yet they decided to come back and together reconditioned their feelings and crafted a reciprocal commitment for a lasting relationship. 

Now they know where they wanted to go. Their path to the gates of the temple was paved best to make sure that it will no longer be broken. Jayvee stayed in Surigao City to prepare himself for the grand event in his life with Jusherlyn in which lies eternal consequences. He was eventually called to serve as Young Men President, while Jusherlyn serves as Single Adults representative.

The bride's dressing room

Both Jayvee and Jusherlyn are discernibly growing spiritually and trying to fit Bruce R. McConkies’s description: “The right person is someone for whom the natural and wholesome and normal affection that should exist does exist. It is the person who is living so that he or she can go to the temple of God and make the covenants that we there make.” (Bruce R. McConkie, quoted by Thomas B. Holman, Choosing and Being the Right Spouse, Ensign, lds.org).

Their decision did become definite and immovable and their bond braced as this day, the 30th of June 2018, they knelt before the holy altar of matrimony in the House of the Lord and were pronounced as husband and wife with a covenant and an everlasting promise to have and to hold; for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, for time and all eternity. 

There is no spectacular scene of classiness and elegance of worldly ornamentation. Neither was there a fantastic show of sophisticated processional march into the holy altar of matrimony. Backdropped by the natural serenity and beauty and the peaceful ambience of the Temple grounds, they simply walked towards the doors of the Temple and were ushered by ministering servants---the bride to the bride’s dressing room and the groom to the men’s dressing room. Then they were guided to meet together in the sealing room to kneel in the Holy Altar of matrimony and by the power of the Holy Priesthood received the sacred ordinance and were sealed together in the presence of parents and family and other witnesses, as husband and wife forever. 

Sealing room of the Cebu City Philippines Temple where
Jayvee and Jusherlyn were married for time and all eternity.

The newlyweds will now start a new life together as one with complete understanding and distinct realization, “…that the mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage. Happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.” (Spencer W. Kimball, Oneness in Marriage, Ensign, lds.org).

For some time having found themselves as being meant for each other, they dug deep into their hearts and build the most solid foundations in a relationship---the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. Now that the foundations are in place, they are on their way to assemble the building blocks that will shape the sacred sanctuary for an oncoming family and establish a home to serve as a shelter from the storms of family life.

MY WARMEST CONGRATULATIONS TO MR. AND MRS. JAYVEE AND JUSHERLYN MOJELLO-PAESTE ON THIS THEIR WEDDING DAY!

WHEN GOD AND FAMILY ARE PREEMINENT

by: Norberto Betita

Adversity often comes into our lives like a thief in the night. It takes its toll in times when circumstances are off against efforts for finding resolves. To my son---Robert Sherwin---a father who is the principal provider for the family, losing a job on the very first day of the year was tremendously an awful challenge. The first month and even the first quarter of the year is not a period for hiring employees in corporate and government organizations. It’s good though that his family had been saving for a financial buffer incase his unsecured employment is suddenly terminated. It was likewise fortunate for him that his wife has a permanent job. It was also timely that months prior, he was inspired to take and eventually passed the government professional civil service examinations as one line of employment options.

As soon as he knew he is to be retrenched, he immediately prepared an updated resume and searched for vacancies. He knew that for a new applicant to be hired takes time, and he and his wife made sure that their financial savings will last.

His employment options were first set for corporations and government offices in the Province of Surigao del Norte and Surigao City. He applied with the Department of Education (DepEd), Surigao City Division; the Tag-anito Mining Corporation; and Caraga Regional Hospital, the latter two being supervisory positions. He was qualified and shortlisted in all. However, it was the DepEd who first called him for interview and soon required him to submit documents for employment. He therefore declined the call by Tag-anito Mining Corporation for interview. While waiting for the approval of his appointment he made himself available for the panel interview at the Caraga Regional Hospital. He again qualified for the final interview, but for ethical reasons he no longer attended, because a week before the message for interview was made, he already received his permanent appointment with the DepEd.

Prior to his applying for employment in Surigao, immediate job opportunities were already available and waiting for him with competitive salaries. Two of his former bosses were just waiting for him to submit his application and resume. His brother-in-law, whose family is already residing in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), has repeatedly encouraged him to join the Filipino diaspora. With his supervisory experience, computer programming skills and ISO auditing knowledge, he could easily find a good paying job, which may be significantly higher than he could get from possible Philippine employment, and may provide more for the family. While waiting for the approval of his appointment, he was offered to work in Manila by the holding company of his former employer, double his expected employment salary in the DepEd. However, all of these rich offers he forgo for two profound reasons---service to God and family duties.

During his round table with a panel of interviewers in the DepEd he was told that based on his resume, he is overqualified for the position he was applying for. But he apprised them that it matters not, he is just as much willing to perform the job according to its demands and even beyond, without regard for his qualifications. He is in need of a job and whatever it takes he must have to be submissive to the performance requirements of the needed employment.

It may be somehow absurd and ridiculous that the same company who caused him his personal dilemma and employment mess would call him back for help, and he would make himself available. Yet he did on several occasions without regard whether he would be paid or not. He is just as much willing to help when needed. He is not the kind of person who takes advantage of the weaknesses of others, be it in corporate operations or in personal life.

Robert lives by the principle as taught by David O. McKay, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” In his life he seriously carries with him the teaching of the Lord Himself in His Sermon on the Mount when He said, “But Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33). He takes no thought for the riches of the world, but looks far above into the riches of eternity. Of such, no matter how I convinced him to go abroad for a few years, to earn enough to build for his family a home and something for comfortable mobility, he never give in. When God and family are preeminent in the life of a father, no matter the temptation to acquire so much of the worldly mammon and the comforts of sophisticated human toys, to him nothing beats God’s promise: “…If ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land…. (Alma 37:13).

Called upon to preside and lead God’s children in this part of His vineyard, Robert was blessed to be a little more comfortable and serve better with his new employment in the city proper. It is not only convenient for him but likewise for his family. To him such was God’s Providence. In him is now given the task to take the first step to move forward up the ladder of progress.

It’s Robert’s birthday today and it is my wish that he and his wife---Analiza---will have their vision remain focused together in one and the same star to reach to the summit of their common goals.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR ONLY SON---ROBERT SHERWIN SITOY BETITA!

ON FATHERS’ DAY: THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT, “HONOR THY FATHER…”

by: Norberto Betita 

The origin of Father’s Day celebration dates back on May of 1909 when Sonora Smart Dodd, while sitting in a church and listening to a Mother’s Day sermon realized that his father---William Smart---was equally deserving and therefore also need to be honored. In expressions of her deep and abiding gratitude for all the love and great effort and exemplary paternity of his widowed father in raising and rearing six young and growing children, including a newly born, all by himself, Sonora thought there should be a special day of tribute and honor not only for his father but also to other fathers like him. It was initially suggested that the Father’s Day celebration will be held in time for the death anniversary of Sonora’s father which is June 5th. However, due to planning problems the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington State was moved on Sunday, June 19, 1910.

From that early beginning the idea of paying homage to the fathers in the United States became a yearly celebrated event. But it was only in 1966 that the state recognized it through an executive order issued by President Lyndon B. Johnson, designating the third Sunday in June as the official day to celebrate Father’s Day. And finally in 1972, President Nixon officially declared Father’s Day as a national holiday in the United States of America.

In the Philippines the Father’s Day celebration came only as an influence from American holidays and celebrations in the 1980s. Together with the United States and other countries like Canada, United Kingdom, Argentina, France, India, Ireland, Pakistan, Singapore, South Africa, and Venezuela, we celebrate Father’s Day on the 3rd Sunday of June. We do not have an officially designated Father’s Day celebration in the Philippines.

While the celebration of Father’s Day was started only on June 19, 1910 and purposely initiated to honor fathers, God’s commandment to honor fathers has long been binding since time immemorial upon Israel and the rest of mankind and has always been a component in our daily gospel living. The fifth commandment was thus written: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20:12).

The Prophet Moses while reminding the Israelites of the covenants they made with God in Horeb, also reviews the commandment with them: “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Deuteronomy 5:16).

The Apostle Paul, recognizing the inherent relationship and the link that it provides to our divine connection with Heavenly Father, which children and fathers need to strengthen and enlarge, wrote in his epistle to the Ephesians, thus: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

“Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

“That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

This commandment to honor fathers is related to the patriarchal order and government in the human household where the father presides and serves as provider, designed after the order of the heavenly family. This father-children relationship embraces affectionate expressions of heavenly love and concern for each other’s welfare with common vision for an eternal destiny. This bond embodies collective experiences of joys and pains; delights and heartaches while in mortal probation which make the link even more vitally important as the infinite journey moves farther into the realms of eternity.

The father-children relationship is not just about bonding in mortality, but a continuing preparation and groundwork in establishing an eternal family unit which is the ultimate end of all that we do in this life in accordance with God’s great plan of happiness.

To those who are young, the commandment means honoring, submitting, appreciating, respecting, recognizing and emulating their good works. To the middle-aged and matured it is remembering and matching, and even outdoing the fathers’ exemplary leadership in the home, and caring for the aged father or mother in their weary years; and performing necessary ordinances of salvation for those who had already passed beyond the veil.

The sacredness and spiritual import of this commandment is obviously evident such that from the early days of Israel cursing a father or mother was considered a capital crime worthy of the punishment of death. In the Book of Leviticus we read: “For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death…; his blood shall be upon him. (Leviticus 20:9). And in Deuteronomy it is recorded: “Whoso curseth father or mother let him die the death…And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die…” (See Deuteronomy 21:18-21).

The Lord himself during his ministry reminded and warned the people, especially the scribes and Pharisees, of the importance of the fifth commandment in the law, thus: “For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.” (Matthew 15:4, see also Mark 7:10).

While disobeying this commandment to honor the father or mother is no longer considered a capital offense in any country in the world, yet it has never been repealed. It has always been a part of the existing commandments as declared by the Lord Himself (see Matthew 19:19 and Luke 18:20).

I wonder if many of the children of today ever understood well the fundamental significance of the Father’s Day celebration in relation to the commandment to honor their fathers. By the kind of unfettered views and opinions among youths and adults, and the ever-present profanity, hateful remarks and criticism common in our daily conversations, I am ever wary if the real bonds of divine love and caring for each other which the commandment calls still exist in many families.

Many children of today failed to read between the lines the depths of their father’s personal sacrifices and struggles. On many occasions fathers have to sacrifice their personal dreams in favor of their children’s future. They erased from their memory the things they wanted to acquire in order to give all their energy and means even beyond the limits, for the needs of their children. Out of their best expressions of unconditional love, they ask for none save the needed respect and love of which they are deserving for giving of themselves up for their children’s welfare. Yet cursing the parents by children now seems to be a sad and heartbreaking pattern. Perhaps if indeed cursing parents remained to be a capital crime, many children should have been sentenced to death. But even in such a sad face to face with cursing, righteous fathers continue to love and forgive of their children’s nasty behavior, leaving the rest to Divine Providence.

However, notwithstanding the open public display of widespread unbelief and antagonism in the world these days, more children still cling to the commandment to honor their fathers. I am privileged of knowing a man---a dear friend and classmate---who honored and respected his father in accord with the fifth commandment which to him is most familiar as a religious man. He was already a Certified Public Accountant and a successful bank executive, but his father continued to remind of his dream for him to become a lawyer. Perhaps it was his father’s personal dream which he relinquished to give place for his son to find success that motivates such insistence. Indeed, he has the needed brilliance and the means, but time. Yet he honored his father’s request as being an obedient son. He tried to break barriers of time until in his midlife he finally found himself marching with fellow graduates and stood before a grand audience to be conferred a degree in law at which time, and at the age of 50, he also became a member of the bar. Immediately thereafter, he resigned his banking career and engaged himself in private law practice and get involved in charitable and religious activities. Indeed, he’s been an obedient son, a righteous father and husband, and a noble grandfather; a personal peculiarity worthy of emulation. For me, it’s been an honor to be called a friend of Atty. Epifanio Moran Almeda.

I will never forget that first day when Father’s Day was celebrated in the year 1910, not only because I also have a father whom I most dearly love and sincerely honored and respected throughout his lifetime; whose awe-inspiring love and sacrifices, which are highly deserving of God’s commandment to honor, had been a motivating legacy for 13 of us siblings; but also because the day June 19th is the birthday of my only son, who now is also a righteous father and husband.

It is of most worth to know that the Father’s Day celebration as originated by Sonora Smart Dodd to honor his father and other fathers, was actually and plainly in relation to the divine fifth commandment, “Honor thy father…” Such understanding provides a better and more satisfying menu to pack and complement the table for a father’s sumptuous feast.

ONE WITH HIS BROTHER

By: Norberto Betita 

Challenges comes to each of us in surprisingly unexpected time and stretch of life. It comes even during the early beat of life in an embryonic stage---when the formation of the major organs and structure of a growing embryo takes place---and some parts failed to develop.

Such was the case of my tenth grandchild---Trevor Betita Preciosa---now two years old. During his conception it was already observed through ultrasound that one of his kidneys did not grow. However, the fetal movement and development as observed were within normal condition. The baby was eventually given birth normally and his newborn screening revealed no other early signs of abnormalities, except for that of his kidney of which his pediatrician advised the parents to consult with a Pediatric Nephrologist.

What makes this challenge kind of surprising and strange to the family is the fact that the infant boy is one with his brother---Travis---who was also diagnosed as being born with one kidney by the same obstetrician who delivered both children about five years apart. Of the elder boy, the parents did not take immediate action to consult with a nephrologist observing that he was just as normal as all other boys his age. He had never been to a pediatrician often except for ordinary common coughs and colds.

However, with their newborn having the same kidney deficiency, after six months from birth, they brought both children to Butuan City for checkup by a pediatric nephrologist. The examination confirmed that both were indeed born with only one left kidney each, a condition called renal agenesis. Their right kidneys did not develop. They were assured though that these boys can live healthy normal lives and with normal life span. They were advised, however, to live healthy lifestyles as possible. 

As a grandfather, I am very grateful to know that Trevor and his brother Travis, despite both having only one kidney each, can still do things that normal children are doing. Notwithstanding the possibility that later in life there will be slight loss of kidney functions, it has been proven that the loss of function will be very mild with very few problems. They still can participate in sports except for those which requires heavy body contacts as advised by doctors. They need not have to follow a special diet if their single kidney remains healthy. As it has been said that “it is not unusual for one kidney to do the work of two.”

Statistics say that 1 in 750 people is born with only one kidney. The origin and cause of renal agenesis---born with one kidney--- is not yet known. It is said that most of these cases “are not inherited from parents, nor do they result from any behavior by the mother.” However, it can be “more common in infants born to one or more parents with malformed or absent kidney.”

We do not have any recorded history in the family of this kind of physical deficiency. Their parents had no known malformed or absent kidneys, they having been conceived and born when the ultrasound technology was not yet available. They live healthy normal lives. However, in their father’s side, their grandmother’s siblings have history of kidney problems.

As of the now both boys are observed to be just as healthy and active as many children their age. They have not been to a doctor often. 

Trevor and his brother Travis are just beginning their life’s race. There are yet so many laps to cross and high roads of challenges to overcome. The path to the future are for them totally uncertain. They need to have faith even early in life, for after all, these challenges and uncertainties are made part of their mortal journey because Heavenly Father knows and trusts in their capacity to triumph over their designated trials as they ask Him for help.

I am old and I may not see Trevor---my 10th grandson---grow into maturity. It is my hope and most sincere prayer that he will be guided through by his parents in love and patience and in righteousness and in truth. May he grows and develops into a virtuous man, strong in faith, and more spiritually inclined. May Heavenly Father grant that he will be able to embrace his early adversities with courage to defy barriers and faith to endure. In his growing up years, may he understands better the purpose of life and the role of challenges in God’s eternal plan of happiness.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TREVOR! As your grandfather, I have an overpowering wish that you will be able to live a full normal and healthy life; that you will grow learning the truths of life and the plan of salvation; that you will be obedient to your parents and to the commandments of God; and that you will qualify to hold the Holy Priesthood of God and serve in His kingdom and walk the path where Jesus walked. May God grant!

THE MIL-FRAN GASTA-BETITA FAMILY REUNION 2018

by: Norberto Betita

The surviving 8 out of 13

Our family reunion is a tradition that was conceived years ago out of our great love for our dearest parents Millan Guhiting Betita and Francisca Mangle Gasta Betita, of whose greatest sacrifice, all thirteen of us siblings were raised to maturity. We consider these moments of family gatherings as turning back our hearts to them in reciprocation of the great love they have showered upon us during those long years of admonishing and nurturing towards our becoming responsible grownups. It is likewise perceived to pass on the family legacy that our parents bequeathed to us, to the present as well as to the future generations. 

Through the years the roots of our family tree have grown deeper as to generate more and more branches growing in different directions. It has become so many that for us, the original branches, it’s becoming difficult to identify some of the tiny twigs.

The recent reunion scheduled April 7-9, 2018 registered 187 participants, not including those who were not able to participate because of distance. Our family relationships is a circle which is bound by the bonds of love that ever grow stronger through the increasing number of strands added by every marriage and birth of which the circle is likewise enlarged. 

At the beach

Our family is far from being perfect. Like all others, we have our own share of joys and gladness as well as sorrows and pains. We also have family crises as are common since the beginning of the families of Adam, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Lehi and more. Among the many branches are saints and prodigals and personal differences which makes disagreements a common part. Yet when conflicts are faced in the spirit of family love, unity and harmony, there comes peace and the family circle is even strengthened and fortified.

What makes our family reunions different is the fact that it was built upon the principle that, “those who have, give. Those who have less, receive.” There is no counting of contributions, only sincere fulfillment of generous commitments. There is no measure to what each family gives for even the least that each could bring and the mere physical or personal presence is to us already an expression of boundless family love.

The weight of providing meals to 200 participants in the grand reunion was financially a heavy burden to bear. But one young single bough in the family tree volunteered hole-and-corner to shoulder the cost. However, out of unity, harmony and love, family members collectively shared added resources if only to lighten the load. Throughout the three days family event, there was joy and gladness, enjoyment and contentment as resources are immeasurably poured out by those who have the means, in acts of love and generosity. “Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to [our family]” (Joseph B. wirthlin). 

The men-cousins

The women-cousins

Grand children and great-grandchildren

There are still eight of us siblings who are blessed to have an extended life in mortality---Flordeliza, 80; Manolito, 73, Virginia, 70; Janedina, 68; Norberto, 65; Clemente, 63; Millan, Jr., 60; and Arnold, 58. Presiding over us in our family activities is our eldest living brother Manolito. We respect and support him as such. We are deeply grateful that his family leadership has always been a powerful uniting force around the family circle. 

I had been privileged to open our family reunion. My message was one of a reminder of the great love that our forebears have for us and a reassurance that our parents are happy in the other side of the veil for us turning our hearts to them by memorializing and honoring their legacy. I reminded the participants that the spirit of our parents are just around the corner. “They can see us, but we cannot see them unless our eyes were opened” (Brigham Young). I pointed to them of a sign of two birds flying fast into the reunion venue as if to show us that our father and mother were very happy to be in our midst. I bore witness with conviction of the eternal nature of families and that our family relationship is meant to be forever, that is why the adversary is working hard to direct its disintegrating assaults upon us. I encouraged the younger descendants to face their challenges and trials with courage and faith and hold on to their struggles to overcome and eventually attain victory. 

Cousins and spouses

Our eldest living brother Manolito, in his inspirational message, expressed gratitude for the outpouring of love and support to the cause of remembering the legacy of our parents. He thanked everybody for making our family reunion a tremendous success. He reminded us that because of each of our imperfections and personal weaknesses it is common and natural that we argue, we fight and at times even sever our communications with each other. He then delivered a clear patriarchal counsel that we need to lay to rest bitterness, hidden wedges and these common differences and never tolerate them to prevail as a deterrent in our continued efforts to be united as one big family, and instead work in harmony with each other and make sure that love will always be in our hearts. He admonished us to be more patient towards each other and let love be the bonds that will hold the family circle together when storms of life come. His inspired message was clear as to let us remember that our family tree has grown stronger and denser over the years as descendants continue to increase; that it has become like a handmade driftwood art which in time becomes even more precious. He conveyed to us a message of hope for joy and happiness to always be a part of our family relationships.

Women at the beach

The love and family camaraderie and the grand family fellowship we enjoyed together was given a fitting description by a quote: “A family reunion is a time to remember, a time to laugh, a time to celebrate, a time to share old stories and make new memories. A time to see each other in the faces all around us and find reflections of ourselves in hearts both young and old. A reunion is a coming together that strengthens the bond of family and reminds us of the gift of belonging. A chance to share our history. A reason to celebrate our past. A time to welcome our future as a family” (pinterest.com).

In behalf of us siblings, if there are ever words that would best convey the depths of our feelings of gratitude reserved in our hearts for the love and support; camaraderie and fellowship; physical help and most generous contributions; and attendance that each of our families have shared which made the Mil-Fran Gasta-Betita Family Reunion 2018 a success, I would be profoundly constrained to best express. However, there seems to be no better words than to say THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH! I am sure that the eyes of God see from the eternal heavens and He rejoices in our rejoicings for it has been part of His great eternal plan of happiness that families should work together to “…turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers…” (Malachi 4:6). Sure enough, what you have sowed “fell on good ground, and [will] sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold” (Luke 8:8). 

expressions of respect to the elderly

For those who may have been restrained to come for some valid reasons, we likewise express our heartfelt gratitude for your desires to be with us even in thoughts, with hopes and prayers that you will continue to be a participant in our continuing efforts to enliven the family tradition and legacy.

It is our hope and prayer that we will continue to have the desire to help strengthen the welding link that binds us together as a family. We pray in earnestness that we will continue to be united in love, harmony and peace throughout the coming years and even beyond this life for families are, indeed, forever. “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. … The family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

“The family is the most important unit in time and eternity and, as such, transcends every other interest in life” (Howard W. Hunter). It is the “link to our past, bridge to our future” (Alex Haley). We, therefore, most sincerely pray that we, together, will keep alive the family tradition towards greater family love, unity, harmony and peace!