BEING MEANT FOR EACH OTHER

By: Norberto Betita

They first meet in a church activity while studying in college. The few personal visits eventually turned into a perpetual stopover and was further transformed into a courting episode. In time courtship ultimately switched to a feeling of devotion and love as for the two beings becoming best of friends.

Jayvee Paeste was fostered by her aunt after her mother died during his early infancy. His father is an overseas seaman, an officer of a ship, which also prompted him to take up a nautical course. He also became a seaman himself which I later learned to be the cause of their break-up.

I first meet Jayvee during one of the tree planting activities of the Surigao 3rd Branch of the church in one of the community near Capalayan, Surigao City. He was introduced to me as the boyfriend of Jusherlyn Mojello, whom I know very well since as a young woman until she became a teacher, being a long time member of our branch. Months passed and I heard rumors that Jusherlyn is already engaged to be married in the temple. All the while I was thinking that it was Jayvee whom they are talking about, but I was surprised to know that the young man was a returned missionary once assigned in Surigao City.

Months later, I again learned that Juserlyn’s plan was deferred and her relationship finally came to a split.

The newlyweds at the temple door

After Jayvee’s breakup with Jusherlyn, and during the time when he was working abroad as a seaman, he likewise got a new girlfriend, but later also had distanced himself from and eventually ended such relationship.

For some space of time they both tended their broken hearts, trying to find relief from heartaches, disappointments and pains, and searching for meaning of such romantic failures. In the course of their individual quest for personal independent directions, their mutual feelings again brought them back into the crossroads where they once meet. The strings of the broken relationship was once again mended and came in perfect tune; and thus the melody of a more devoted and affectionate amorous commitment resound the infinitely wonderful music for the heart.

The circumstance when Jayvee and Jusherlyn first came to a fork in the road was kind of Alice’s encounter with the Cheshire cat in the animated movie Alice in the Wonderland. They were not yet sure where to go, and so it seems that it did not matter to them which road they should take. On the way they found themselves lost from each other. 

Cebu City Philippines Temple

But all along, the longings of the heart appear to reverberate as ever the sweet and lasting memories of yesteryears. As they found their way back to the historic crossroads of their common journey, they discovered themselves both standing at a point where a crucial decision has to be made. Their reunion thus became kind of an spiritual evidence that pierced their consciousness as for them to ultimately realize that they are truly meant for each other. 

Being meant for each other is not to say that the two are soul mates. President Spencer W. Kimball explained, “Soul mates are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.” (Oneness in Marriage, Ensign, lds.org). Accordingly, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf added: “Once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate, and it is your duty and responsibility to work every day to keep it that way.” – (Is there such a thing as “soul mates”? New-era,LDS.org).

Waiting Area-Cebu City Philippines Temple

The phrase ‘meant for each other’ means being suited for each other as romantic partners. For my liberal understanding of the phrase, it means two people conceiving and formulating mutual intimate feelings towards each other; it is being compatible in an affectionate touch that stem deep from the heart notwithstanding incompatibility in many other things, which differences may be resolved one at a time while in the heart of marital relationship. Interestingly Jayvee and Jusherlyn did just that. While they have the opportunity to find potential marital partners themselves, yet they decided to come back and together reconditioned their feelings and crafted a reciprocal commitment for a lasting relationship. 

Now they know where they wanted to go. Their path to the gates of the temple was paved best to make sure that it will no longer be broken. Jayvee stayed in Surigao City to prepare himself for the grand event in his life with Jusherlyn in which lies eternal consequences. He was eventually called to serve as Young Men President, while Jusherlyn serves as Single Adults representative.

The bride's dressing room

Both Jayvee and Jusherlyn are discernibly growing spiritually and trying to fit Bruce R. McConkies’s description: “The right person is someone for whom the natural and wholesome and normal affection that should exist does exist. It is the person who is living so that he or she can go to the temple of God and make the covenants that we there make.” (Bruce R. McConkie, quoted by Thomas B. Holman, Choosing and Being the Right Spouse, Ensign, lds.org).

Their decision did become definite and immovable and their bond braced as this day, the 30th of June 2018, they knelt before the holy altar of matrimony in the House of the Lord and were pronounced as husband and wife with a covenant and an everlasting promise to have and to hold; for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, for time and all eternity. 

There is no spectacular scene of classiness and elegance of worldly ornamentation. Neither was there a fantastic show of sophisticated processional march into the holy altar of matrimony. Backdropped by the natural serenity and beauty and the peaceful ambience of the Temple grounds, they simply walked towards the doors of the Temple and were ushered by ministering servants---the bride to the bride’s dressing room and the groom to the men’s dressing room. Then they were guided to meet together in the sealing room to kneel in the Holy Altar of matrimony and by the power of the Holy Priesthood received the sacred ordinance and were sealed together in the presence of parents and family and other witnesses, as husband and wife forever. 

Sealing room of the Cebu City Philippines Temple where
Jayvee and Jusherlyn were married for time and all eternity.

The newlyweds will now start a new life together as one with complete understanding and distinct realization, “…that the mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage. Happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.” (Spencer W. Kimball, Oneness in Marriage, Ensign, lds.org).

For some time having found themselves as being meant for each other, they dug deep into their hearts and build the most solid foundations in a relationship---the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. Now that the foundations are in place, they are on their way to assemble the building blocks that will shape the sacred sanctuary for an oncoming family and establish a home to serve as a shelter from the storms of family life.

MY WARMEST CONGRATULATIONS TO MR. AND MRS. JAYVEE AND JUSHERLYN MOJELLO-PAESTE ON THIS THEIR WEDDING DAY!

WHEN GOD AND FAMILY ARE PREEMINENT

by: Norberto Betita

Adversity often comes into our lives like a thief in the night. It takes its toll in times when circumstances are off against efforts for finding resolves. To my son---Robert Sherwin---a father who is the principal provider for the family, losing a job on the very first day of the year was tremendously an awful challenge. The first month and even the first quarter of the year is not a period for hiring employees in corporate and government organizations. It’s good though that his family had been saving for a financial buffer incase his unsecured employment is suddenly terminated. It was likewise fortunate for him that his wife has a permanent job. It was also timely that months prior, he was inspired to take and eventually passed the government professional civil service examinations as one line of employment options.

As soon as he knew he is to be retrenched, he immediately prepared an updated resume and searched for vacancies. He knew that for a new applicant to be hired takes time, and he and his wife made sure that their financial savings will last.

His employment options were first set for corporations and government offices in the Province of Surigao del Norte and Surigao City. He applied with the Department of Education (DepEd), Surigao City Division; the Tag-anito Mining Corporation; and Caraga Regional Hospital, the latter two being supervisory positions. He was qualified and shortlisted in all. However, it was the DepEd who first called him for interview and soon required him to submit documents for employment. He therefore declined the call by Tag-anito Mining Corporation for interview. While waiting for the approval of his appointment he made himself available for the panel interview at the Caraga Regional Hospital. He again qualified for the final interview, but for ethical reasons he no longer attended, because a week before the message for interview was made, he already received his permanent appointment with the DepEd.

Prior to his applying for employment in Surigao, immediate job opportunities were already available and waiting for him with competitive salaries. Two of his former bosses were just waiting for him to submit his application and resume. His brother-in-law, whose family is already residing in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), has repeatedly encouraged him to join the Filipino diaspora. With his supervisory experience, computer programming skills and ISO auditing knowledge, he could easily find a good paying job, which may be significantly higher than he could get from possible Philippine employment, and may provide more for the family. While waiting for the approval of his appointment, he was offered to work in Manila by the holding company of his former employer, double his expected employment salary in the DepEd. However, all of these rich offers he forgo for two profound reasons---service to God and family duties.

During his round table with a panel of interviewers in the DepEd he was told that based on his resume, he is overqualified for the position he was applying for. But he apprised them that it matters not, he is just as much willing to perform the job according to its demands and even beyond, without regard for his qualifications. He is in need of a job and whatever it takes he must have to be submissive to the performance requirements of the needed employment.

It may be somehow absurd and ridiculous that the same company who caused him his personal dilemma and employment mess would call him back for help, and he would make himself available. Yet he did on several occasions without regard whether he would be paid or not. He is just as much willing to help when needed. He is not the kind of person who takes advantage of the weaknesses of others, be it in corporate operations or in personal life.

Robert lives by the principle as taught by David O. McKay, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” In his life he seriously carries with him the teaching of the Lord Himself in His Sermon on the Mount when He said, “But Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33). He takes no thought for the riches of the world, but looks far above into the riches of eternity. Of such, no matter how I convinced him to go abroad for a few years, to earn enough to build for his family a home and something for comfortable mobility, he never give in. When God and family are preeminent in the life of a father, no matter the temptation to acquire so much of the worldly mammon and the comforts of sophisticated human toys, to him nothing beats God’s promise: “…If ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land…. (Alma 37:13).

Called upon to preside and lead God’s children in this part of His vineyard, Robert was blessed to be a little more comfortable and serve better with his new employment in the city proper. It is not only convenient for him but likewise for his family. To him such was God’s Providence. In him is now given the task to take the first step to move forward up the ladder of progress.

It’s Robert’s birthday today and it is my wish that he and his wife---Analiza---will have their vision remain focused together in one and the same star to reach to the summit of their common goals.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR ONLY SON---ROBERT SHERWIN SITOY BETITA!

ON FATHERS’ DAY: THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT, “HONOR THY FATHER…”

by: Norberto Betita 

The origin of Father’s Day celebration dates back on May of 1909 when Sonora Smart Dodd, while sitting in a church and listening to a Mother’s Day sermon realized that his father---William Smart---was equally deserving and therefore also need to be honored. In expressions of her deep and abiding gratitude for all the love and great effort and exemplary paternity of his widowed father in raising and rearing six young and growing children, including a newly born, all by himself, Sonora thought there should be a special day of tribute and honor not only for his father but also to other fathers like him. It was initially suggested that the Father’s Day celebration will be held in time for the death anniversary of Sonora’s father which is June 5th. However, due to planning problems the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington State was moved on Sunday, June 19, 1910.

From that early beginning the idea of paying homage to the fathers in the United States became a yearly celebrated event. But it was only in 1966 that the state recognized it through an executive order issued by President Lyndon B. Johnson, designating the third Sunday in June as the official day to celebrate Father’s Day. And finally in 1972, President Nixon officially declared Father’s Day as a national holiday in the United States of America.

In the Philippines the Father’s Day celebration came only as an influence from American holidays and celebrations in the 1980s. Together with the United States and other countries like Canada, United Kingdom, Argentina, France, India, Ireland, Pakistan, Singapore, South Africa, and Venezuela, we celebrate Father’s Day on the 3rd Sunday of June. We do not have an officially designated Father’s Day celebration in the Philippines.

While the celebration of Father’s Day was started only on June 19, 1910 and purposely initiated to honor fathers, God’s commandment to honor fathers has long been binding since time immemorial upon Israel and the rest of mankind and has always been a component in our daily gospel living. The fifth commandment was thus written: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20:12).

The Prophet Moses while reminding the Israelites of the covenants they made with God in Horeb, also reviews the commandment with them: “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Deuteronomy 5:16).

The Apostle Paul, recognizing the inherent relationship and the link that it provides to our divine connection with Heavenly Father, which children and fathers need to strengthen and enlarge, wrote in his epistle to the Ephesians, thus: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

“Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

“That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

This commandment to honor fathers is related to the patriarchal order and government in the human household where the father presides and serves as provider, designed after the order of the heavenly family. This father-children relationship embraces affectionate expressions of heavenly love and concern for each other’s welfare with common vision for an eternal destiny. This bond embodies collective experiences of joys and pains; delights and heartaches while in mortal probation which make the link even more vitally important as the infinite journey moves farther into the realms of eternity.

The father-children relationship is not just about bonding in mortality, but a continuing preparation and groundwork in establishing an eternal family unit which is the ultimate end of all that we do in this life in accordance with God’s great plan of happiness.

To those who are young, the commandment means honoring, submitting, appreciating, respecting, recognizing and emulating their good works. To the middle-aged and matured it is remembering and matching, and even outdoing the fathers’ exemplary leadership in the home, and caring for the aged father or mother in their weary years; and performing necessary ordinances of salvation for those who had already passed beyond the veil.

The sacredness and spiritual import of this commandment is obviously evident such that from the early days of Israel cursing a father or mother was considered a capital crime worthy of the punishment of death. In the Book of Leviticus we read: “For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death…; his blood shall be upon him. (Leviticus 20:9). And in Deuteronomy it is recorded: “Whoso curseth father or mother let him die the death…And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die…” (See Deuteronomy 21:18-21).

The Lord himself during his ministry reminded and warned the people, especially the scribes and Pharisees, of the importance of the fifth commandment in the law, thus: “For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.” (Matthew 15:4, see also Mark 7:10).

While disobeying this commandment to honor the father or mother is no longer considered a capital offense in any country in the world, yet it has never been repealed. It has always been a part of the existing commandments as declared by the Lord Himself (see Matthew 19:19 and Luke 18:20).

I wonder if many of the children of today ever understood well the fundamental significance of the Father’s Day celebration in relation to the commandment to honor their fathers. By the kind of unfettered views and opinions among youths and adults, and the ever-present profanity, hateful remarks and criticism common in our daily conversations, I am ever wary if the real bonds of divine love and caring for each other which the commandment calls still exist in many families.

Many children of today failed to read between the lines the depths of their father’s personal sacrifices and struggles. On many occasions fathers have to sacrifice their personal dreams in favor of their children’s future. They erased from their memory the things they wanted to acquire in order to give all their energy and means even beyond the limits, for the needs of their children. Out of their best expressions of unconditional love, they ask for none save the needed respect and love of which they are deserving for giving of themselves up for their children’s welfare. Yet cursing the parents by children now seems to be a sad and heartbreaking pattern. Perhaps if indeed cursing parents remained to be a capital crime, many children should have been sentenced to death. But even in such a sad face to face with cursing, righteous fathers continue to love and forgive of their children’s nasty behavior, leaving the rest to Divine Providence.

However, notwithstanding the open public display of widespread unbelief and antagonism in the world these days, more children still cling to the commandment to honor their fathers. I am privileged of knowing a man---a dear friend and classmate---who honored and respected his father in accord with the fifth commandment which to him is most familiar as a religious man. He was already a Certified Public Accountant and a successful bank executive, but his father continued to remind of his dream for him to become a lawyer. Perhaps it was his father’s personal dream which he relinquished to give place for his son to find success that motivates such insistence. Indeed, he has the needed brilliance and the means, but time. Yet he honored his father’s request as being an obedient son. He tried to break barriers of time until in his midlife he finally found himself marching with fellow graduates and stood before a grand audience to be conferred a degree in law at which time, and at the age of 50, he also became a member of the bar. Immediately thereafter, he resigned his banking career and engaged himself in private law practice and get involved in charitable and religious activities. Indeed, he’s been an obedient son, a righteous father and husband, and a noble grandfather; a personal peculiarity worthy of emulation. For me, it’s been an honor to be called a friend of Atty. Epifanio Moran Almeda.

I will never forget that first day when Father’s Day was celebrated in the year 1910, not only because I also have a father whom I most dearly love and sincerely honored and respected throughout his lifetime; whose awe-inspiring love and sacrifices, which are highly deserving of God’s commandment to honor, had been a motivating legacy for 13 of us siblings; but also because the day June 19th is the birthday of my only son, who now is also a righteous father and husband.

It is of most worth to know that the Father’s Day celebration as originated by Sonora Smart Dodd to honor his father and other fathers, was actually and plainly in relation to the divine fifth commandment, “Honor thy father…” Such understanding provides a better and more satisfying menu to pack and complement the table for a father’s sumptuous feast.